LETTERS TO PERSONS 



WHO ARE ENGAGED IN 



DOMESTIC SERVICE 



BY 



MISS CATHARINE E. BEECHER. 




NEW YORK: 
PUBLISHED BY LEAVITT & TROW, 

19 4BROADWAY. 

MDCCCXLII. 



-Y)C33^ 




Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1842, by 

JOHN F. TROW, 

in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the Southern District 

of New-York. 



Universify Press : 
JOHN F. TROW, PRINTER, 

114 Nassau-street, 
New- York. 






ERRATUM. 
Page 218, line 9 from top, for " starch," read stretch. 

TO AMERICAN LADIES. 

My Countrywomen : 

"Will you aid me in an attempt to benefit a 
most useful, a most important, and yet a much 
neglected portion of our fellow citizens 1 I can 
accomplish little without your aid j with it, I 
trust much may be done. 

Have you ever heard any instructions from 
the pulpit addressed to the class for whom I 
now write ? Have you ever read a printed 
sermon, or a tract suited and designed to in- 
struct Americans of this class, on the topics 
presented in this book ? Have you not felt 
how important it is that this class, who have 
so much influence on domestic enjoyment, and 
on the character of children, should be proper- 
ly instructed in the duties of their station, and 
yet how difficult it is to address them acceptably, 
or to find books that answer for this purpose 1 

These things have been urged on my atten- 
tion by benevolent ladies, who have felt these 
difficulties, and who complain that, while those 
they hire can find books enough which treat on 
the duties of their employers^ they seldom find 



6 TO AMERICAN LADIES. 

instructions in regard to the peculiar duties of 
their own station. I have made an attempt to 
remedy this deficiency, so far as my ability ex- 
tends. But a great difficulty meets me. The 
persons for whom I write, have few opportuni- 
ties to know what issues from the press, and 
seldom buy books. It is others, who, from a 
spirit of philanthropy and benevolence, must 
procure such advantages for them, or they will 
seldom be secured. I would therefore appeal 
to all benevolent and Christian ladies, whose 
eye may rest on this page, and ask if each will 
not secure the reading of this book to at least 
one of those for whom it is written. If house- 
keepers will supply those they hire, if travellers 
and visitors will use this, to present as a token 
of good will to those who serve them, where 
they temporarily sojourn, if on New-Years and 
Christmas, this may be remembered as a suita- 
ble present to those who do so much to aid on 
festive occasions, then, if this book is fit for the 
end designed, there will be many who will be 
joined, in the best of all fellowship, with their 
friend and countrywoman, 

The Author. 



CONTENTS. 



LETTER L page 

The station of domestics important, respectable, 
and advantageous to themselves. A story to 
illustrate the state of things in this country . 9 

LETTER 11. 

A conx'^ersation between the clergyman and a do- 
mestic ... ..... 27 

LETTER IIL 

Difficulties experienced by the shipwrecked com- 
pany, and how these were remedied . . 36 

LETTER IV. 

The manner in which this story illustrates the 
state of things in this country ... 43 

LETTER V. 

Reasons for regarding the station of a domestic 
as honourable and respectable ... 51 

LETTER VL 

The reasons why the station of a domestic is not 
regarded as so honourable as it really is . 62 

LETTER VII. 

Reasons why the station of a domestic is a de- 
sirable one, and superior to that of a semp- 
stress, a shop girl, or a factory girl . . 69 

LETTER Vin. 

The importance of raising the respectability of 
the station of a domestic, in public estimation, 
and the mode by which it can be done . 78 



VIU CONTENTS. 

LETTER IX. 

On the duties of subordination. Rules of the 
Bible. Respectful manners the mark of a lady 91 

LETTER X. 

On Visiting, Company, and Religious Meetings. 
On going out, and having company. Religious 
Meetings, A story to illustrate . . 110 

LETTER XL 

Importance of health to domestics. Modes by 
which they injure health .... 126 

LETTER XII. 
On D7-ess, Manners and Language . — Dress should 
be conformed to means and to occupations. 
Rules of good manners .... 142 

LETTER XIII. 

Trials of domestics and remedy for these trials. 
Fault-finding. Want of comforts and conveni- 
ences, &c. 153 

LETTER XIV. 

On Economy. — Economy a duty to all. Modes of 
economizing ...... 172 

LETTER XV. 

On the Care of Children. — Patience very needful. 
Offering rewards. Never shame children for 
their faults. Never deceive them. Set an ex- 
ample of honesty and modesty , . . ISO 

LETTER XVL 
On Cooking 193 

LETTER XVII. 

On setting tables. Washing and ironing, and 
other housework 213 

LETTER XVIIL 
The Way to be Happy . . . '. 226 



LETTERS 



TO 



|3^r0on0 £ngagA in ?Dotn^stxc Stxmt, 



LETTER L 

The station of domestics important, respectable, and 
advantageous to themselves, A story to illustrate 
the state of things in this country. 

My Friends : 

I HAVE travelled a good deal in various 
parts of this country, and by visiting in a large 
number of families, I have been led to feel a 
great interest in the welfare of persons in your 
situation. And as my friends think that I could 
write something which might be useful and in- 
teresting to you, I have concluded to try, and 
have, therefore, prepared this small volume for 
your use. I trust you will find, that I have, 
at least, one good qualification for writing 
a book for you, and that is, a real interest in 

2 



10 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

those I address, and a sincere desire to do all I 
can to promote their usefulness and happiness. 
I think that much of the trouble felt by per- 
sons in your situation of life, would be very 
much lessened, if a right view were taken of 
the respectability, usefulness, and advantages 
of the station you occupy. I do not think you 
are aware either of the good you can do to 
others, or of the benefits you may receive your- 
selves, in your employment. And I do not 
think you understand the real respectability 
which belongs to your situation. I therefore 
wish to give you some views on these points, 
that I hope may tend to make you more useful, 
and more contented with your lot. This I 
think I can do in the most agreeable way by 
relating the following tale. 

A S X o p. y. 

Once there was a ship which sailed with 
a large company on board. There were the 
captain, the officers, and the sailors, and a 
company of soldiers. There was also a large 
number of gentlemen and ladies, and there 
were several families of children, returning 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 11 

from school to their parents, with the persons 
who had the care of them. There was also a 
number of servants to the gentlemen and ladles. 
After they had been some time at sea, a 
dreadful storm came on, the ship sprung a leak, 
they all got into the ship's boats, and then 
she sunk to the bottom with all their possessions. 
After a great deal of trouble, their uopts suc- 
ceeded in all reaching a neighbouring, unknown 
shore. Their misfortunes soon reached the 
ears of the king of that country, who was a 
very generous and kind man. His dominions 
had just been desolated by a pestilence, which 
in some cases had swept off whole families. 
The king had all these strangers conveyed to 
a large estate whose owner, with all his family, 
had perished in the pestilence. On this estate 
was a large and magnificent palace, with gar- 
dens, and orchards, and parks, and a great ex- 
tent of fields for cultivation. Within the palace 
were fine furniture, and rich clothing, and a 
great quantity of food of all kinds. The out- 
houses, also, were supplied with fine horses 
and beautiful carriages. All this estate, with 
its palace and treasures, was given to these 



12 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

strangers, on two conditions; the first was, 
that they should never have any kind of inter- 
course with the people of the land, but take 
care of themselves and do all their own work. 
The second was, that all the company should 
consider and treat each other as " free and 
equal." Children and servants, soldiers and 
sailors, were to have the same right to every 
thing in the palace, as any one else had, and 
no person was to be superior in rights to 
another, in any respect whatever. All were 
" free and equal ;" all were equally entitled 
to " life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness," 
in any way each thought best for himself. On 
these two conditions, this company took pos- 
session of this noble estate, and all its treasures. 
Immediately on entering the palace, they 
commenced ransacking the whole establishment, 
and every one was trying to get the best of 
every thing. All wanted the pleasantest rooms, 
and the handsomest clothes, and the best arti- 
cles of food. Each person claimed that he had 
as good a right to the best of every thing as 
any one else, and no one was willing to give 
up his rights. The children liked to use the 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 13 

nicest china and cut glass to play with, and the 
cakes and sweetmeats for their food ; the ser- 
vants liked the silks and satins for dress, and 
the sailors and soldiers liked the fine parlours 
with their light carpets and silk curtains and 
sofas, to smoke and eat in. And if any of the 
company tried to control them, insult and abuse 
were showered down, for thus taking away the 
rights and liberties of others. Very soon quar- 
rels began, and these grew worse and worse, 
until they came to blows, and there was con- 
stant fighting for every thing. The result was 
this ; the servants, the soldiers and the sailors 
were the strongest, and so they got possession 
of the best of ev^ry thing. The richest cloth- 
ing, the finest rooms, and the best food w^ere 
all taken by them. The captain, officers and 
gentlemen w^ere the next strongest, and they 
got the next best. The women and children 
were the w^eakest, and so they were obliged to 
put up w^ith the poorest of every thing. 

But after they had thus divided their pos- 
sessions, the question then was, who should do 
the work 1 All wanted to sit in the parlours, 
and walk in the gardens, and eat their meals, 

2* 



14 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

and ride in their carriages; but nobody want- 
ed to cook, or wash, or sw^eep, or plough, or 
take care of horses. And yet all this work 
must be done, or they would be destitute of the 
necessaries and comforts of life. At first, the 
strongest tried to force the weakest to work 
for them, and for a while, it seemed as if the 
poor women and children, who had little 
strength to resist, would be made slaves to the 
strong. 

But they declared that nobody had a right 
to make them work, and that they would go 
with their complaints to the king, if their rights 
were thus invaded. 

Thus matters w^ent on, till all the carpets 
were covered with filth, all the dishes were dir- 
ty, all the clothing w^as soiled and torn, and 
every thing about the estate was fast going to 
destruction. 

Meantime the soldiers, sailors and servants, 
who had the most strength, were constantly 
domineering over the others, and quarrelling 
and fighting among themselves. The children 
were beaten and abused, the ladies insult- 
ed, and all kinds of oppression practised. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 15 

There was universal contention, fear, distress 
and ill will. All the decent and well meaning 
persons declared, that they would gladly ex- 
change this palace for a hovel, with nothing 
but potatoes to eat, and straw to sleep on, if 
they could thus gain quiet and peace. In this 
company was a venerable old clergyman, with 
white locks, a benevolent countenance, and 
kind and pleasant manners. Soon after the 
scenes of riot and abuse commenced, he retired 
to a hay loft for refuge ; and here he was often 
visited for counsel and sympathy, by the suffer- 
ing and sorrowful. One day a pale and sweet 
looking lady came to him, in great distress. 
Her little Ellen, her beautiful and only child, 
was sick. She told the minister she could not 
get a comfortable bed, nor a quiet room, that 
her servant whom she had hired to wait on her 
during the voyage would do nothing to help 
her, that she had watched by her child day and 
night till her strength was all gone, that when 
she tried to prepare suitable food for herself 
and her sick child, some rude sailor or soldier 
would come along and snatch it away, that 
she was sick, hopeless and exhausted, and that 



16 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

she and her child must perish for want of rest 
and food, unless she could get some pity and 
help. 

This good minister had long been hoping 
that a time would arrive, when the whole 
company would be brought, by their own 
wants and the sufferings of all around them, 
to feel that they must adopt another course, and 
he now thought the time had probably come. 

By the aid of several of his friends, he suc- 
ceeded in getting the whole company together. 
He then recounted to them all the blessings 
and comforts that had been bestowed on them 
by the enevolent king. He pointed out the 
waste, destruction, and misery that had followed, 
and painted in tender and plaintive tones, the 
suffering and sorrow that had come upon the 
weak and helpless. He described the angry 
and revengeful passions that had distracted 
those, who had by fighting gained the best of 
every thing, and showed them that all they 
had gained had never given them any peace 
or happiness. He then pointed out the evils 
that were threatening them for the future. 

Their granary was fast running low, and 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 17 

yet nothing was done towards raising another 
crop. Their furniture and clothing were fast 
going to destruction, and yet nothing was done 
to repair the waste, or to provide a new supply. 
He told them that famine and want of all kinds 
were now at hand, and they must make up 
their minds what w^as to be done. 

They were all greatly moved by his wis- 
dom and eloquence, and with one consent 
agreed to do whatever he would recommend. 
He then took a Bible out of his pocket, and 
told them that the God who made them, wish- 
ed all his creatures to be happy, that he alone 
knew what w^as best for them, and that in that 
blessed book he had revealed the rules to guide 
them in all circumstances. He then proposed 
that for the six months to come, until a harvest 
could be gathered in, they should agree to 
take the rules which God had given them for 
their guide. To this all consented, and they 
then appointed the minister to study the Bible 
for them, and to point out in all emergencies 
what were its rules. The minister consented 
to do this. 

He then advised them, first to cleanse the 



18 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

palace, its furniture and their clothing, and to 
put all things, as nearly as possible, in the or- 
der in which they first found them. They fol- 
lowed this advice, and, when all was ac- 
complished, came together again for farther 
directions. 

Then the minister told them, that God requir- 
ed all his creatures, when living together, to act, 
not to gain all the good things that each one 
wanted, but to do that which was /or the great- 
est good of the whole. He then read from the 
Bible all the passages he had collected, in which 
this grand principle was taught. He then 
asked them, if they would agree to take the 
following rule for their guide in deciding all 
questions of property, of labour, and of rights 
and privileges, viz. that every one shall do that 
which will secure the most comfort, convenience 
and enjoyment to the whole company. This 
they all consented should be the rule to guide 
them in every thing. The minister then told 
them that the first thing they must do was to 
provide the food and comforts necessary to life 
and health. For this purpose, some must 
plough and sow and work, day after day, in the 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 



19 



fields. Now it was best for all the company 
that the strongest and healthiest should do this, 
for if the delicate and weak undertook it, in- 
stead of providing food by their labour, they 
would all become sick, and have to be nursed 
and waited upon by the rest. For this reason it 
was decided, that the men should do the out-door 
work, and that the women and children should 
do the lighter work|in the house. The minis- 
ter then pointed out the fact, that the king had 
given them a noble palace with every variety 
of furniture and clothing. But in the palace 
were some very beautiful rooms and some very 
plain ones ; some of the furniture was costly 
and elegant, and some w^as very common ; 
some of the clothing was of the most delicate 
light silks and muslins, and some was strong, 
dark, and fitted for hard service. 

Now it was manifest that those who did 
the hardest and dirtiest work, needed the stout- 
est and darkest clothes, and that if any body 
wore the delicate muslins and silks, it should be 
those whose employments would least injure 
them. In regard to a choice of rooms too, it 
was best and most convenient, that those who 



20 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

did the dirty work should inhabit the rooms 
most convenient to their work, and those fur- 
nished so that they would be least injured by 
the use of persons whose feet and clothing were 
often soiled by their work. The most elegantly 
furnished rooms were those most easily soiled 
and injured, and therefore the general good 
required, that they should be occupied by those 
whose work and dress would least injure them. 
He showed them, that, if instead of this ar- 
rangement, the persons who did the hardest 
and most soihng work, should use the finest 
clothing and nicest rooms, very soon their 
elothing and furniture would be gone, and the 
company would be obliged to work to make 
more. As a matter of convenience and econ- 
omy, therefore, he inquired whether it was not 
for the general good, that those who did 
the hardest work should take the plainest 
apartments and the strongest clothing. This all 
decided would be best, and yet, some said that 
it seemed hard, that those who had to do the 
least agreeable work, should have the least 
agreeable rooms and the plainest clothing too. 
But they all concluded that it never would do 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 21 

to wash dishes and cook and plough and dig, in 
mushn and satin dresses ; and so they concluded 
that the arrangement which would make their 
clothes and furniture last the longest should be 
adopted. 

But then the question came up, How shall 
we decide who shall do the harvest work, and 
wear the plainest clothing, and take the least 
agreeable rooms ? 

In this dilemma, the minister recommended 
that they should appeal to God, who was the 
wisest Being, and a Just and Holy Judge. He 
told them the way to appeal to God was, by 
casting lots. To this all agreed, and so 
when the lots were prepared, the company all 
stood up and uncovered their heads, while the 
minister then called upon God. 

. " Oh Thou, who art our Father, our Judge 
and our King, decide for us by these lots, what 
our portions shall be, and when thou hast thus 
decided, incline our hearts to submit to thy will, 
and with patience and cheerfulness, to perform 
the duties of the station in which we are 
placed." 

After this prayer they all drew their lots to 
3 



22 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

decide their employments, and then took the 
clothing, rooms and conveniences, as they had 
before decided, would be for the good of all. 

The minister then pointed out the necessity 
of having overseers to each kind of work, who 
should direct and superintend others. He des- 
cribed the waste, confusion and trouble that 
w^ould follow, if every one went to work on the 
farm where he pleased, and did his work in 
any way he pleased. And so in the house- 
keeping, he showed what discomfort and con- 
fusion would follow, if each one did her work 
at any time, or in any manner she liked, with 
no system or order, and w^ith no one to plan or 
direct. 

It was then concluded, that it was for the 
general good, that each kind of work should 
have an overseer, and that the overseers should 
spend their whole time in planning and direct- 
ing others about their work, while the rest 
should obey their directions. Some seemed to 
think that it was rather hard, that some should 
have nothing to do but go about and see that 
other people kept at work, but after some 
talk, they all concluded that the work never 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 23 

would be done properly any other way, and so 
they consented that this arrangement should be 
made. Then came up the question, who should 
be the workers and who the overseers. On 
talking this over it was agreed, that those who 
knew the most, should be appointed to direct 
the rest. Accordingly the best cook was made 
overseer of the cooking, the best gardener 
overseer of the garden, and thus in every kind 
of work, the one who understood the most 
about it, was appointed to direct the rest. 

It was then proposed, that as there would 
be sickness among the people, there should be 
some men selected to read and study about the 
diseases of the countr)^, who should attend 
upon the sick, to see that they were properly 
nursed. 

It was also decided, that those who were 
best qualified to teach and govern the children, 
should take charge of them, and spend their 
time in teaching them. 

The minister then told them, that though 
now, after so much suffering for want of order, 
industry, and harmony, they were all willing 
to do as they had agreed, yet when they came 



24 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

to go to work, many -would become discontented, 
and would not submit to these regulations. 
They would then declare that the king gave 
them this estate, on condition that all should 
be free and equal, that this rule was not obey- 
ed, for that some lived without doing any hard 
work, and had the best rooms and the best 
clothes and ruled over others. They would then 
declare, that they would not submit to it, and 
would take the rooms and clothes given to 
others, and neglect their work. Then others 
would follow their example, and soon every 
thing would go back to the confusion and 
misery they had been experiencing. He told 
them also, that there were many cases which 
would arise, when they would need more par- 
ticular rules than any yet agreed on. 

After talking over this matter, they finally 
agreed to this plan. They chose out from 
among the company some of the best and 
wisest men, whose business it should be to 
make all the rules necessary in any emergency, 
and all these rules were to be written down, 
so that all could read them. These men also 
were to decide what punishment should be in- 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 25 

flicted on any who violated these rules. They 
then appointed another set of men v^-ho were 
to be judges, when any one was accused of 
breaking these rules, to decide whether they 
deserved punishment. Another set of men 
were appointed as officers of justice, to see that 
these penalties were inflicted. After this, the 
whole company requested the good minister to 
spend his time in going around to all parts of 
the estate, to talk with every body, and to use 
all his persuasion and influence to lead all to 
be contented, industrious and obedient to the 
rules. When these arrangements were made, 
all went to work harmoniously and cheerfully. 
The fields were tilled and reaped, the food was 
cooked, the clothes were washed, ironed and 
mended, the rooms and furniture were kept 
clean and in order, and every thing went on 
pleasantly. Those who had the best rooms 
and clothes and the easiest work, tried to make 
it pleasant and comfortable to those who did 
the work. They felt that they had the best of 
every thing, not because they were better than 
the others, but because it was for the general 
good of all. And those who did the work. 



26 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

and had the least agreeable accommodations, 
felt that it was God who appointed their lot, 
and that it was as proper for them to be there 
as for any of the rest. And they all felt so 
pleased and thankful for having escaped from 
such scenes of misrule and misery, that every 
one was content with his lot. They felt that 
by submitting to rules that were made for the 
good of all, each one had his own situation 
made more comfortable than it could be by any 
other method. And so they went on, day after 
day, in comfort and peace. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 27 



LETTIRII, 

A conversation between the clergyman and a domestic. 

My Friends : 

In my former letter I told you how the 
good minister succeeded in persuading the ship- 
wrecked company to adopt the rules given in 
the Bible, and the comfort and prosperity that 
followed this course. I also told you that the 
minister was requested by the company to 
spend all his time in visiting every part of the 
estate, to converse with all who were disposed 
tp be discontented, or indolent, or unsubmis- 
sive to the rules. 

I will now tell you a little about the way 
this good man managed to promote peace, 
contentment, and industry. In the first place 
they all agreed to come together one day each 
week to hear the minister explain those rules in 
the Bible that taught them the duties they 
owed to God, to themselves and to their neigh- 



28 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

bours. Many of them had never been properly 
instructed in their duties, and were entirely 
ignorant of the Bible. So, on these days of 
meeting, he used to spend a part of the 
time in reading portions of the Bible and in pro- 
ving its Divine authority. He told them when 
it was written, and how it was collected and 
preserved, and how it was safely and correctly 
transmitted to them. He showed them too, 
that it contained not only rules for making 
them happy in this world, but that it taught 
them that they were to live forever after their 
bodies died, and that their eternal happiness 
depended on the character and habits they 
formed in this short life. He described the 
character they must form in order to be happy 
in the eternal world, and painted all the happi- 
ness that would follow to those who formed 
such a character, and the dreadful miseries 
that would come upon all who died without 
forming such a character. - He also took great 
pains, at these times, to teach them how to 
perform all their daily duties properly, and 
showed them that this was one way to form 
that character that fitted them to die. Some- 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 29 

times he preached on the duty and advantages 
of industry and economy ; sometimes on the 
ways to promote cheerfulness, and contentment ; 
sometimes on the duties owed to overseers and 
rulers ; sometimes on the advantages of system., 
order and neatness ; sometimes on the duty of 
taking proper care of the health, and the ways 
in which it should be done ; sometimes on the 
duty of kind, courteous, and respectful manners'; 
sometimes on the duty of improving their 
minds by reading and study. Indeed there was 
no duty which he found they w^ere in any danger 
of neglecting, that he did not teach them the 
proper way of performing it. And after teach- 
ing any of these duties, he always knelt down 
with them, and prayed to God to help all of 
them to obey the rules he had given, on all 
these subjects. For this good man never found 
that they needed instruction on any duty, when 
he could not find a plenty of rules and direc- 
tions about the matter in the Bible. 

After preaching to them thus, w^hen all to- 
gether, he used to go around, and talk with 
every one separately, and find out whether or 
not each was trying to follow his advice. 



30 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

One day after he had been down in the 
fields, talking to some of the farmers, he came 
up through one of the beautiful gardens, and 
as he passed a white marble fountain, he found 
one of the girls who worked in the kitchen, 
sitting under the shade by it, looking discon- 
tented and sullen. So he went up to her and 
spoke in a kind and pleasant way, and then 
the following conversation took place. 

" Well, Sarah," said he, " what makes you 
look so displeased and uncomfortable V 

Sarah. It is because I do not think I am 
fairly treated. I cannot see, for my part, why 
I have not as good a right to sit up in the par- 
lours to sew and read, when I have got my 
work done, as the girls who are allowed to sit 
there. They are no better than I am, and yet 
they wear fine clothes, and sit in beautiful 
rooms, and have nothing to do but sew on fine 
things. And here I have to stay in the kitchen 
and work, work, work all day long, and wear 
homely clothes, and have the poorest rooms, 
and be ordered about by others, instead of doing 
as I please. And just now, when I went up to 
sit a little while with those who were sewino^ 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 3^1 

up in the parlours, the head cook came and 
called me down, and told me never to go up 
and sit in the parlours again. 

Minister. And did she tell you any reason 
for what she required ? 

Sarah. Why yes, she said she wanted me 
to be where she could call me when she need- 
ed my help, and that my shoes and frock would 
dirty the stair carpet, and the parlour carpets 
and sofas, and that if I went up all the rest 
that worked in the kitchen would go up too, 
and this would make work and trouble, 
and that she never could keep things going on 
well in the kitchen, if this was allowed. But 
I cannot see why we cannot be allowed to go 
up sometimes, when we have no work to do — 
I am sure I am as nice and careful as any of 
the girls up stairs. 

Minister. So you are, Sarah. But do you 
think Peggy and Susan are as nice as you ? 

Sarah. Mercy on us ! — I guess you would 
not think so, if you could see their greasy 
frocks and aprons, and their dirty shoes. 

Minister. Well — Sarah, don't you suppose 
*hey think they are nice enough ? 



32 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

Sarah. Yes, I suppose so — for when I tell 
them to fix up and look clean and nice, they 
only laugh at me, and say they are not going to 
wash and fuss and frink up as I do every day. 

Minister, Well, suppose you were allowed 
to go and sit in the parlours every day, would 
not Peggy and Susan think they had as good 
a right to do so as you, and would not they be 
angry and discontented because the head cook 
was partial to you and unjust to them 1 

Sarah. Well, I suppose they would. 

Minister. Sarah, do you not have time to 
sew and read, after your work is done, as much 
as you wish ? 

Sarah. Oh yes, we have a good deal of 
time for ourselves. 

Minister. Is not your chamber a comforta- 
ble one, and do you not have all the comforts 
and conveniences you need 1 

Sarah. Oh yes. I am sure I never, when I 
was at my dear home, had such a comfortable 
and pleasant chamber and good bed, and all 
sorts of comforts. 

Minister. And do you not have as good 
food as the girls who sit in the parlour ? 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 33 

Sarah. Oh yes — ^quite as good — I have 
never complained about that. 

Minister, And who do you love most5 and 
like to talk to the best ? 

Sarah. I like Emily who works with me 
the most of any one, she is so kind and obliging, 
and as cheerful and merry as a lark. 

Minister. Do you like any of those who sit 
in the parlour and sew, as well as you like 
Emily ? 

Sarah. Oh no, sir — not half so well. They 
are all so proud because they have such nice 
clothes, and sit in such fine rooms, that I can- 
not bear them. 

Minister. Well then, my good Sarah, it 
appears that you have a good and pleasant 
room of your own to stay in, and a good bed, 
and good food, and even more comforts and 
conveniences than you had at your own home. 
And you have time to read and sew, and books 
given you to read, and you have the friend you 
love best, to work with you, and all that 1 can 
find out that troubles you is, that you cannot 
go up and sit in fine rooms, where every 
body is dressed better than you, among people 

4 



34 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

that you say are so proud you cannot bear them. 
It does not seem to me that this is any very 
great evil, and if you will follow my advice 
you will soon get over this trouble. Now I want 
you, first, to think over these things. Somebody 
had got to do the work in the kitchen, or all 
the company would be uncomfortable and hun- 
gry. It is just as right and proper for you to 
do it, as for any body else. If your lot had 
been drawn by one of the girls in the parlour, 
she would have been in your place, and 3'ou per- 
haps in hers, and then you would not have 
thought about the matter as you do now. 

You are doing a great deal of good in the 
place where you are. The head cook tells 
me that you are always up in good season, 
neat and tidy, quick and obliging, and that it 
is a great comfort to her to have so capable 
and good a girl to help her. And I do not 
suppose there is a person in the whole company 
that does more good than you do, or contrib- 
utes more to the comfort and enjoyment of the 
whole family. 

And it is God, my dear child, who put you 
in your lot, and he it is that requires you to be 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 35 

obedient to those that have rule, and to be 
cheerful, industrious and content with your lot. 
Think of these things when you feel troubled, 
and go and pray to God to help you put 
away all proud, and envious, and discontented 
feelings, and then I am sure you will never feel 
or look so troubled about this matter again. • 

Now Sarah was a good, and generous, and 
grateful girl, and when the minister talked so 
kindly to her, she told him she had been feeling 
wrong, and that she would try to follow his 
advice. And then when he shook hands with 
her, and gave her his blessing, she told him 
that he was the best and kindest friend she had 
in the world. 

And so she w^ent in to her work, and soon 
the good man heard her chatting and singing 
with her friend Emily, as cheerful and busy as 
a bee. 



36 LETTERS TO PERSONS 



LETTER III, 

Difficulties experienced by the shipwrecked company, 
and how these were remedied. 

My Friends : 

In the following letter I shall tell you of 
some trouble that these shipwrecked persons 
met, in following out their new plan of life. 

After they had spent several months in 
doing up the work which past neglect had 
made needful, and after the harvest w^as gath- 
ered in, the good minister found many evils 
coming upon them, for w^ant of enough work 
to keep them all busy. Idleness is the parent 
of a thousand evils and vices, and therefore 
something he saw must be devised, in order to 
keep all hands employed. 

The company came together to talk over 
this matter. At this meeting it was stated that 
their clothing and furniture were going to des- 
truction even with careful use, and that as more 
must be provided soon, this might afford em- 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 37 

ploymerit to idle hands. It was then urged by- 
some of the company that they should take 
what wool they could get from their sheep, and 
what flax they could raise, and make a kind of 
■coarse and strong cloth called linsey woolsey, 
and then all might dress alike, and thus there 
would be no more trouble about some having 
better clothes than others. But it soon was 
shown that this would not remedy the difficul- 
ty about employment. For such coarse and 
strong clothing would last so long, that all 
those who now had employment in making and 
mending and refitting and in doing fine sewing, 
would be thrown out of employ. 

At length it was agreed that an embassy 
should be sent to the king, to request him to 
let the company trade with at least one store 
on their borders, where they might exchange 
the products of their lands for clothing and 
furniture. This request was granted, on this 
condition, that each individual might bring all 
he raised himself, and get whatever he wanted, 
but that no one should take any thing that he 
•did not pay for with the fruits of his own labour. 

After this arrangement was made, a great 
,4* 



38 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

change took place in the palace. Those who 
were diligent, active and bright, discovered 
various ways of raising large crops, or of ma- 
king ingenious articles, which they exchanged 
at the store for such furniture and clothing as 
they liked. But those who were dull, or lazy, 
or vicious, did not succeed in raising the means 
to buy new things, and were obliged to put up 
with old or very cheap ones. Sometimes 
those who lived in the finest rooms would agree 
to give up those rooms to those who were most 
successful, in order to share in some of their 
profits. And thus it came about that many 
who had the plainest rooms, and clothing, and 
furniture, by their industry and enterprise, final- 
ly came to possess the finest rooms and hand- 
somest clothing and furniture. And so on the 
other hand, some of those who at first by lot 
had gained the best of every thing, were driven 
by their ignorance or indolence, to take the 
poorest of every thing. 

These changes at first produced great dis- 
content. But the good minister took unwea- 
ried pains to convince the discontented ones, 
that though some evils came from having some 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 39 

persons gain so much superior advantages, yet 
on the whole, it was far better than to have 
them hold property in common, and all fare 
alike. For, as he showed them, a great part 
of mankind are disposed to be careless and in- 
dolent, and would never exert themselves, un- 
less some great advantage was to be gained by 
care and industry. For this reason, it is a 
great advantage to every body to have persons 
around them, who own beautiful, or conve- 
nient things that can be gained by themselves 
only by intelligence and industry. For thus 
every one will be stimulated to improve his 
mind, and employ his time diligently. 

On the contrary, if every body dressed and 
ate and fared just alike, whether they were in- 
dustrious or not, the stimulus to exertion would 
be taken away, and many would become lazy 
gnorant and vicious. These teachings of the 
minister were effectual in most cases, so as to 
preserve harmony and peace. 

But another difficulty arose, that caused 
still more trouble. The company was so large, 
that they could not all sit together in one par- 
lour, nor all eat together at one table ; and very 



40 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

often the question came up, as to who should 
associate together. The minister taught them 
that this was a point where every man had a 
right to consult his own taste and feelings. 
No person had a right to go and visit another 
person's room when he was not wanted, and 
every one might decide for himself what com- 
pany he would have visit him, and who he 
would not have as a friend or companion. By 
following this rule, it came about that persons 
whose tastes, pursuits, and characters were 
most alike, became most interested in each 
other, and thus they found it pleasantest to eat 
together and to sit in the same parlour. Thus 
those who, either by lot, or by their intelligence 
and industry, gained the finest clothes and furni- 
ture, and had similar employments and habits, 
formed one circle by themselves. In like man- 
ner those who worked together in the fields 
became best acquainted, and they formed ano- 
ther circle. And thus, too, those who worked 
in the kitchen became best acquainted and as- 
sociated together. 

But the good minister found many hard feel- 
ings coming up from this state of things. For 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 41 

those who had the most talents, and the finest 
clothing and furniture, began to take airs of 
superiority, and to treat the others with dis- 
courtesy and disrespect, while those who had 
less advantages grew envious, jealous and dis- 
contented. It was a very difficult matter to 
rectify the wrong state of feeling on both sides. 
Though the minister taught those who had the 
most advantages, that they should set an exam- 
ple, to all the rest, of gentleness, humility and 
courtesy, he could not prevent some of them 
from appearing haughty and proud, nor induce 
them to treat all persons with respect and 
courtesy, whatever w^ere their employment or 
appearance. 

And it was just as difficult to make those 
who were less fortunate, feel kindly towards 
those who were better off than themselves. 
They all insisted that none should visit them in 
their rooms, or eat with their circle, unless their 
company was wanted, but when other people 
used the same privilege and excluded them 
they felt grieved and offended. They were so 
unreasonable as to insist that nobody should 
treat them as they were determined to treat 



42 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

others. And thou2;h the minister laboured more 
to make them feel and act reasonably about 
this than for any thing else, he often sighed 
over his poor success. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 43- 



LETTER lY. 

The manner in which this story illustrates the state of 

things in this country. 
My Friends : 

I WILL now point out some respects in which 
you will see that the people of this nation are 
situated very much like the shipwrecked trav- 
ellers. In the first place then, we have receiv- 
ed from God, that great and benevolent King 
over all, a noble country, filled with an abun- 
dance of all kinds of treasures. And the two 
conditions on which we enjoy it are, first, that 
we shall take care of ourselves, and do our 
own work, and, secondly, that we shall all be 
" free and equal," and all " equally entitled to 
life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness," in 
any way that ea^h one may think best for 
himself. 

We also are bound by the same grand rule 
that was adopted by the shipwrecked company y, 
that, every one shall do that which will secure 



44 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

the most enjoyment to the whole company, and 
not that which each one likes best. It is accord- 
ing to this rule that all our laws are made, which 
restrain men from seeking their own pleasure 
by sacrificing the public good. And our laws 
are made by men appointed by the people for 
the purpose, and executed by judges and offi- 
cers appointed by the people, from among 
themselves. In this also we resemble the com- 
pany in the story. 

The question as to who shall work, and 
what kind of work each one shall do, and who 
shall have the best rooms and furniture and 
clothes, is also settled just as it was in the story. 

For by common agreement women are 
appointed to work in the house, and men to 
work out doors. 

Then it is God decides what our lot shall be 
when we are born into the world. God de- 
termines who shall be born of poor parents and 
who of rich, and this decides what kind of work 
each one shall do, and what kind of accommo- 
dations and furniture each shall possess. It 
was thus in the story. By casting lots, the 
company gave to God the business of deciding 



ENGAGEt) IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 45 

what stations and employments each should 
take, and this determined what clothes and ac- 
commodations each should take. But more 
depends on our intelligence, industry, and vir- 
tue, than on the particular lot in which we are 
born, so that the people in this country are in 
exactly the situation of the shipwrecked com- 
pany after they began to trade at the store. 
Though some few keep the place they got by 
the lot of birth, almost every thing depends on 
intelhgence, skill, industry and virtue. In this 
country, any man who is well educated, active, 
skillful and industrious can become compara- 
tively rich. Of course, in this land, men have 
more inducements to become well educated^, 
virtuous, and industrious than the people of 
any other nation on earth. 

In like manner, each kind of work has over- 
seers appointed to direct others. Who these 
overseers shall be, in most cases, also, is decided 
on the same plan as in the story. Those who 
know the most, generally, become overseers. In 
cases where persons hire laborers to work on 
farms, or in their families, then the master of 
the house, or the farm, is the overseer, and di- 

5 



46 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

rects those he hires, because they agree, for a 
reward, to do as he directs. But in almost all 
trades and professions, it is those who know the 
most, who rise to stations where they are over- 
seers to others. 

This is a great benefit to all the commu- 
nity, because it is an encouragement to all per- 
sons to improve their minds, and to be industrious 
in acquiring skill and knowledge. 

In this country too, we have men who spend 
all their time in studying about diseases and 
in attending to the sick, and others who edu- 
cate the young, and others who discharge the 
duties performed by the good minister in the 
story. 

And we find among us too, some people 
who think that it would be much better for us 
if every body earned money for the common 
stock, instead of laying it out for themselves, 
so that nobody should have any handsomer 
rooms, or furniture, or clothing than all the 
others have. Such persons think it would be 
w^se to give up carpets, sofas, china, glass and 
all ornaments, and to have every body live very 
plainly, and all fare just alike. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 47 

But the great body of the people know bet- 
ter than this. They see that if all the manu- 
factories of carpets, sofas, glass, china, silks, 
muslins and ornaments were stopped, that 
all the persons now employed in making, and 
in trading in these articles, would be thrown 
out of employ, and having nothing to do, would 
become lazy and wicked. 

They, therefore, conclude that it is best that 
all kinds of rich and beautiful things should be 
made, in order to keep one set of persons busy in 
making them, and another set busy in earning 
money to buy them. This view of the subject 
should keep persons from complaining that so 
many needless and extravagant things are made 
and sold. It is true that many are thus tempted 
to buy more than is wise or right, yet on the 
whole, great good results to the community. 
For if nobody bought any thing but what was 
barely necessary to life and comfort, half the 
world would become lazy beggars, for want 
of something to do. In this country, also, we 
find the same trouble that the good minister in 
the story saw among his people. For every- 
where we find persons associating together in 



48 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

different classes, that refuse to admit other 
classes to join thera. Thus, domestics form one 
class, farmers another, mechanics another, mer- 
chants another, and literary persons another. 
Now, in some parts of the country, all these 
classes mingle together, without any distinc- 
tions of class. But this is not generally the 
case. For, in most places, we find various circles 
who consider themselves as above or below 
others, in certain respects, and who are very 
apt to feel wrong towards each other on this 
account. Thus domestics in a family will often 
feel very much above persons who are mulattos, 
and refuse to eat or associate with them, and 
yet they think it very hard if mechanics' 
wives and daughters have the same sort of 
feelings towards them. In like manner, me- 
chanics' daughters and sempstresses refuse to 
eat or to associate with domestics^ and yet they 
think it very wrong if merchants' or lawyers' 
daughters refuse to associate with them. And 
even in those circles who call themselves the 
very first, the same feeling is often to be met. 
I have been in places where there was a rich 
and fashionable set, that felt above every other 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 49 

class, and yet there was another class who call- 
ed themselves literary, who felt quite as much 
above the fashionable set, whom they called 
the vulgar rich, and whom they would not as- 
sociate with, even if urged to do so. 

Now it cannot be denied that there often is 
something wrong on both sides in these cases. 
For all should be allowed to choose who shall 
associate with them, and who shall not, and 
none should feel wronged or injured, because 
others do not wish to have them come into 
their circle. Every one should grant to others 
the same right as he claims for himself. No 
one has a right to force his company on us, 
when we do not wish it, and we have no right 
to claim that others shall admit us into their 
circle, unless they wish it. 

But the great mischief is, that those who 
feel above another set, are very apt to treat 
those they fancy to be below them, with dis- 
courtesy or contempt, while those who feel be- 
low others, are apt to indulge in suspicious, en- 
vious, or revengeful feelings. 

How has it been with you who read this ? 
Are there not persons whom you refuse to as- 



50 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

sociate with, and would you not be offended if 
they were set to eat at the same table with 
you ? And yet have you not felt angry when 
others have used the same right in regard to 
you ? Is not this a place where you very much 
need the golden rule, " Do unto others as ye 
.would that others should do unto you 1" 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 51 



LETTER Y. 

Reasons for regarding the station of a domestic as 
honourable and respectable. 

My Friends : 

The preceding letters were designed to 
give you some general views of the state of 
things in this country, and of the station which 
you are called to occupy. I will now point out 
reasons for regarding your station and employ- 
ment as honourable and respectable. 

It is sometimes the case that persons will 
speak of the place of a domestic as the hum- 
blest and least desirable of any ; and some 
young girls will go into shops and manufac- 
tories, and work much longer, and for lov/er 
wages, because they fancy that it is more res- 
pectable than the place of a domestic. And not 
unfrequently " shop girls" and " factory girls" 
will show much pride and folly, in shunning 
the society of domestics, and in treating them 
with disrespect and contempt, as if they were 



52 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

very much below themselves. All these things 
are owing to a want of correct notions as to 
the real usefulness and respectability of this 
important station in life. And I will now^ 
point out the reasons for considering your situ- 
ation as far more honourable, desirable, and use- 
ful than that of a sempstress, a shop girl, or a 
factory girl ; and even as superior in respecta- 
bility to that of many persons who consider 
themselves as belonging to the " very first so- 
ciety." 

There are two things that make a station 
honourable ; one is the power to do good, and the 
other is using this power in the right manner. 

Why is the office of a king or queen the most 
honourable of any in the nation ? Because it 
secures the most power to confer benefits and 
enjoyment on others l Why is the station of a 
president, a governor, or a judge so honourable? 
Because they have great power given them to 
use for the happiness of others. Why is the 
office of a minister of the gospel honourable ? 
Because his education, character and office give 
him great powers to do good. Why are rich 
men considered more honourable than poor ? 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERYICE. 53 

Because their money gives them power to in- 
crease the happiness of others. They can give 
employment to the poor, can give custom to 
the shopkeepers and tradesmen, can bestow 
money on charitable objects, can secure a su- 
perior education, and many other agreeable 
things that make it pleasant to others to asso- 
ciate with them. Why are persons of talent 
and learning honourable ? Because their tal- 
ents and knowledge give them power in va- 
rious ways to promote their own interest and 
to do good to others. 

The mere possession, then, of a power to 
do good, is what makes one station more hon- 
ourable than another. But another thing that 
makes a station honourable, is the actual using 
of this power in doing good. 

If kings and queens are selfish and wicked, 
and use their power to oppress their people, 
they are never as much honoured as when they 
use it to do good. 

If presidents, governors, and judges use 
their power to do evil, they are not honoured 
like those who use it to do good. If a minis- 
ter of the gospel uses his influence to do harm 



54 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

rather than good, he is more despised than he 
is honoured. If rich people spend their wealth 
in selfish indulgences, or in harmful vices, they 
are not honoured as they would be, if they 
spent it for useful and benevolent purposes. 
If persons who have talents and learning, spend 
their time and influence to do evil, they are not 
honoured or respected as they would be, if they 
employed them to do good. 

Now I think you clearly see, that the two 
things which make a station honourable are, the 
power to do good, and the use of this power 
in a proper manner. If, then, I can show that 
domestics have great power to do good given 
them, and that they really use this power in 
doing good, I shall prove that the station of a 
domestic is an honourable and respectable one. 
And if I can show that domestics have more 
power, and actually do more good, than many 
who think themselves above them, I shall 
prove, too, that they have the more honourable 
and respectable station. I will therefore point 
out the power of doing good which is given to 
domestics. In the first place, then, they do 
more than any other class of persons to sustain 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 55 

that most important institution of God, thefa- 
raily state. How much benefit and comfort 
mankind receive throuo;h this institution, few 
of us can reahze. To help you to do so, 
just imagine the state of things in this country, 
if all the homes in the land were broken up^ 
and all classes of persons herded together in 
common, like flocks of animals. 

In this case the father and husband "would 
have no quiet home to go to for comfort, and 
the mother would have no house of her own 
where she could train her children. Every 
child, too, w^ould be turned out into the com- 
munity to take care of itself, with no pa- 
rents to watch over it by day and night, no 
brothers and sisters to sleep and play with, no 
regular meal to call all the children together 
around their kind parents. 

In a cold and selfish world, without guar- 
dians, w^ithout a home, without parental res- 
traint and tenderness, each young child would 
go into the common herd, to grow^ up selfish, 
unhappy, unloving and unloved. 

Instead of this, God ordains that parents 
shall have a home of their own, where they can 



56 LETTERS TO FERSONS 

have their children to themselves, to train them 
I up in love and peace and plenty. And one 
main support of this blessed institution of fami- 
ly and home is, those domestics who are hired 
to do the chief labours of the family. Just 
take avi^ay from this country all the cooks, 
chambermaids, waiters, washers, and house 
cleaners, and what would be the result 1 The 
fathers could not leave their business to do the 
family work, the mothers would not have 
strength to do it, and the family state would 
be broken up. And thus unnumbered miseries 
and crime would come in floods upon the land. 
The position and the work of a domestic, 
then, are among the most useful, the most im- 
portant and the most honourable. They have 
a power given them to do good and to save 
from evil, not surpassed by that of any other 
class in the community. Let any one select 
the class of persons that could be dispensed 
with last of all, and it would be found that 
lawyers, merchants, doctors, and ministers 
would all be given up, before every family 
would agree to give up all aid from cooks, 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 57 

washers, nurses and every kind of hired service 
in the family. 

But, in addition to the power thus given to 
domestics in sustaining the family state, they 
have another most important position of useful- 
ness. This relates to the power they exercise 
in forming the characters of young children. 
The period of life from infancy to twelve years 
old, is the time in which the foundations of fu- 
ture character are laid. During this time, chil- 
dren are in the society of domestics almost as 
much as they are with their parents, and in 
many cases, they talk with those hired to take 
care of them much more than they do with 
their parents. Children are creatures of imi- 
tation and sympathy, and they soon learn to 
think, and feel and act like those around them. 
Of course domestics are constantly exerting 
a powerful influence in forming the opinions, 
tastes, habits, and character of children, more 
so, probably, than any other class in the com- 
munity. To estimate this power properly, w^e 
must remember that the happiness of children 
depends almost entirely on the character they 
form. If they learn to control their appetites, 

6 



05 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

to be honest, truthful, benevolent, and indus- 
trious, they will be useful and happy in future 
life. If they do not learn to control their ap- 
petites, if they learn to be deceitful, dishonest, 
selfish and irritable, they certainly will be un- 
happy and unprosperous. And our whole na- 
tion is to be made up of children, whose happi- 
ness and prosperity will depend, to a great de- 
gree, on the influences exerted over them by 
domestics in early life. And the next genera- 
tion is to depend, for happiness and prosperity, 
on the manner in which the present generation 
is trained. And the next after that, depends 
in like manner, on the one before it, so that the 
influence which domestics exert on one genera- 
tion of children is to go down to generation 
after generation, for hundreds of years. 

And yet, this is not half of the mighty pow- 
er, which is given to domestics to use, either 
for good or for evil. All these children, who 
from generation to generation are thus influ- 
enced in character, by domestics who take care of 
them, are to live forever, and their happiness 
for endless ages, is to depend on the character 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 59 

which they form in this life ! Oh eternity ! 
eternity ! who can estimate the power of those 
who are doing so much, in forming the charac- 
ter of beings who can never, never die ! 

Another particular in which domestics have 
great power is, the influence they exert in mak- 
ing home pleasant to husbands and sons. In 
a family where most of the work is done regu- 
larly and well, by domestics, the mother has 
time to take good care of her children, and her 
mind is cheerful and free from excessive cares. 
In this case, the husband and sons find a com- 
fortable and pleasant home, and are not tempted 
to resort to dangerous amusements abroad. 
But when every thing is going wrong in the 
kitchen and nursery, the wife and mother is per- 
plexed and harassed, and often is low-spirited or 
irritable. The father and sons, when they come 
home, find the house in disorder, their food ill 
cooked and served, their linen out of order, their 
beds uncomfortable, the housekeeper gloomy,, 
the children unregulated, and every thing seems 
to drive them off to look for a more cheerful" 
and comfortable resort. Many and many a 



60 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

husband and son has thus been driven to temp- 
tations and snares, that have drawn them and 
their families to misery and ruin. 

Another power for doing good given to 
domestics is, their opportunities for comforting 
and reUeving the sick. Sickness always 
makes a great deal of work, and were it not 
for domestics, the sick would suffer greatly for 
want of nursing and many comforts. No per- 
sons owe more to domestics than those who, by 
sickness, are deprived of all power to take care 
of theiiiSelves. I might point out other parti- 
culars in which domestics have it in their pow- 
er to do great good, but surely enough has been 
presented to show, that if great power to do good 
is what entitles persons to be called honour- 
able, then domestics have a pre-eminent claim. 

But it has been shown, that it is not only 
the power to do good, but the actual use of this 
power that entitles a person to honour and res- 
pect. Here, also, domestics will be found to 
have a claim equal to that of any other class 
of persons. It will be found, that there are indi- 
viduals in every class of society, who do not use 
their power well. There are bad kings and 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 61 

bad governors, bad rich men and bad learned 
men, and sometimes there are bad ministers of 
the gospel. So, also, there are bad domestics. 
But, as a class, I believe domestics use their 
power for the benefit, rather than the injury of 
society, as much so as any other class. Most 
of the work, that is necessary to sustain the 
family state, is actually done by them, the sick 
are taken care of by their help, children are 
nursed and taken care of by them, and the 
comfort of a family is promoted by their ser- 
vices, to a degree never realized till their help 
is gone. 

No class in the community do more in pro- 
moting the comfort, health, and prosperity of so- 
ciety than domestics. It thus appears, that they 
are an honourable and respectable class in soci- 
ety, not only because they have great power to 
do good, but because they actually use thi& 
power beneficially, to a very great extent. 



62 LETTERS TO PERSONS 



LETTER Yl. 

The reasons why the station of a domestic is not re- 
garded as so honourable as it really is. 

My Friends : 

It is probable that, while reading the pre- 
vious letter, you have thought to yourselves, but 
why, if domestics are so honourable in station 
and office, are they not regarded so ? Why are 
they not treated with honour and respect 1 
Why is their situation spoken of as one of the 
lowest and least honourable ? 

I will point out some of the reasons for this. 

One reason is, the remains of aristocratic 
notions in our country, which lead people to feel 
that labour is degrading, and to honour persons, 
rather for the kind of work they are em- 
ployed in, than for their character. 

I will first explain what I mean by aristo- 
cratic notions. We are descended from the 
English nation, and their plan of government is 
exactly opposite to ours. I have shown you 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 63 

that our plan of government is like that adopted 
by the shipwrecked company. Nobody is re- 
quired to give up any thing, or to do any thing 
but what is for the good of the whole commu- 
nity. Though our lot in life is decided by the 
God of Heaven, yet we make our own rules 
and laws, choose our own rulers and overseers, 
and nobody is obliged to do any thing, which 
is not as necessary for his owm good, as it is for 
the good of all the rest. 

But in aristocratic lands, it is very much as 
it was in the story when the strongest, by fight- 
ing, got the best of every thing, while the weak- 
est were obliged to take the poorest of every 
thing. In England all the power is in the 
hands of the queen, a few nobles, and a small 
portion of the richest and best educated people, ^ 
and for age after age it has been so. In conse- 
quence of this, the laws and customs of that na- 
tion have been made to benefit this small por- 
tion of the nation, so that most of the wealth 
has been accumulated in their hands, ^vhile the 
great body of the people are miserably poor. 

The W'Calth is so unequally divided, that 
while some receive incomes from their parents, 



64 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

or from tlie king or queen, large enough to 
support whole villages, thousands around them, 
though ever so industrious and virtuous, can- 
not earn more than a few cents a day by twelve 
orf Gurteen hours of hard labour. 

This has been the state of thing's in Eng- 
land for hundreds of years. In consequence of 
this, those who have had the most wealth have 
lived in ease and indolence, and have consid- 
ered labour as degrading. The rich and the 
noble have felt as if it was the business of poor 
and ignorant people to toil, and that living in 
indolence was a privilege, and the mark to dis- 
tinguish the gentleman and the lady, from the 
vulgar and low born. 

As we are descended from that nation, we 
have inherited a good deal of this feeling, so 
that even now, when a woman lives in perfect 
idleness, it is very common to say, that she " is 
-living like a lady, with nothing to do but enjoy 
iierself." So we often find that a lounging, ig- 
norant coxcomb, if he happens to have money 
to enable him to dress well, is called " a gen- 
tleman ;" while a man of ten times the sense, 
education and usefulness is not so regarded, 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 65 

because he works with his hands for his own 
support. But things are gradually altering in 
this country, in regard to this matter, and it is 
becoming more and more honourable to work, 
and more and more discreditable to be useless 
and idle. 

Yet a great change is to be accomplish- 
ed before all aristocratic notions are so shaken 
off, that a man or woman will be honoured 
for usefulness, good manners, good sense 
and good principles, without any regard to the 
kind of work by which a livelihood is earned. 
When this time comes, if a woman has a re- 
fined education, good manners, and good prin- 
ciples, she will be as much honoured and re- 
spected as a domestic, as she would be in any 
other sphere of life. 

Another reason why the station of a domes- 
tic is not regarded as honourable is, because 
most persons have wrong ideas about doing 
good and being useful. 

To understand this, you will observe that 
when ladies have a great deal of money and 
leisure, they spend the greater part of their 
time in dressing, visiting, reading, and enjoy- 



66 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

ing themselves in various ways. And yet if 
they take one afternoon in a week to go around 
and visit the poor and sick — if they distribute 
tracts, and give a very small portion of their 
income for benevolent purposes, they are spoken 
of as remarkably useful persons, and are hon- 
oured because they do so much good. 

But if a woman goes around day after day 
to help mothers make up clothes for their chil- 
dren, or if a woman works from morning till 
night in the kitchen, to make a family comfort- 
able, this is not called doing good. Though 
the sempstress and domestic spend the whole 
of their time in earning their own support, and 
at the same time, contribute more than almost 
any class of persons to the comfort and enjoy- 
ment of others, they are not spoken of as per- 
sons who are living to do good. But if a wo- 
man is supported by the labour of others, and 
spends the most of her time in occupations that 
merely gratify herself, and not one tenth part 
of her time or money, in a way that benefits 
others, still she is commended and admired as 
one who is eminent for " doing good." 

JSFow this is a mistaken mode of estimating 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 67 

usefulness. Those who are constantly doing 
something to promote the comfort of others 
should feel that they are " doing o^ood," as their 
daily business ; while those who give only odd 
intervals for the benefit of others, and seek 
their own pleasure the rest of the time, should 
feel that they are the least useful part of the 
community. According to this, when the young 
ladies of a family, who have wealth, education 
and leisure, spend most of their time in seek- 
ing their own amusement, then those domes- 
tics, who toil all day in the kitchen for the 
comfort of others, are the most useful persons ; 
and if they perform their duties properly, de- 
serve to he the most respected and esteemed. 

The last reason why the station of domes- 
tics is not regarded as honourable is, that the 
persons who have been in this station have, or- 
dinarily, been persons desthute of education and 
good manners. This has been more their mis- 
fortune than their fault, and it is a difficulty 
not easily remedied. But it is very certain 
that a person who has a good education and 
good manners, is deserving of more respect, 
and always will receive more respect, than one 



68 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

who is ignorant, rude, vulgar and ill-manner- 
ed. And if all the domestics in this land were 
suddenly changed into refined, well bred, well 
educated persons, you would find that there 
would be as sudden a change in public feeling, 
and then the station of a domestic would be 
regarded as genteel, honourable, and respect- 
able, far more than it now is. 

This is an advantage rather than an evil, 
for it tends to influence domestics to improve 
their minds and cultivate their manners, so that 
they may be worthy of the respect and honour 
which they would thus secure. 



ENGAGED IN DOxMESTIC SERVICE. 69 



LETTERYIL 

Reasons why the station of a domestic is a desirable 
one, and superior to that of a sempstress, a shop girl, 
or a factory girl. 

My Friends : 

I WILL now point out some of the reasons 
for considering your situation in life a desirable 
onb, and far superior in advantages to many 
employments usually regarded as more respect- 
able. 

To understand this properly, we must bear 
in mind that our happiness, here and hereafter, 
depends chiefly on the character which we 
form. A woman that is selfish, irritable, proud, 
indolent and ambitious, can never be happy. 
Give her wealth and leisure, and beauty, and 
high standing in society, and a superior educa- 
tion, and all the comforts and luxuries that 
wealth secures, and yet she will be discontent- 
ed and unhappy. She will always find some 

7 



70 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

one richer, or handsomer, or better ediicatecf, 
or more admired than herself. She will al- 
ways find something about her different from 
what she wishes, that will make her fretful and 
irritable. This, with her pride and selfishness, 
will lead people to dislike and talk against her, 
so that while she is longing for love and admi- 
ration, she will receive dislike and detraction, 
and this will mortify and vex her. She will 
be too indolent to find employment to occupy 
her mind, and thus time will hang heavy, and 
life will become a burden — -a constant scene 
of disappointment and trouble. 

But change this woman's character, and 
make her gentle, kind, and obliging to all 
around her; make her active, industrious, neat 
and orderly ; give her that piety which infiu- 
\/ ences the mind to be self-denying and benevo- 
lent to others, contented with our lot, and 
cheerful and resigned to all that God appoints, 
and such a woman will be happy in any cir- 
cumstances. 

Let such a one become a domestic, and she 
will go around, kindly and patiently minister- 
ing to the wants of all in the house, keeping 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 71 

every thing comfortable and in order, and giving \^/ 
kind words, and tender sympathy to the trou- 
bles of others. Such a one will be loved and 
respected by all, and will constantly be re- 
ceiving expressions of good will, esteem and 
affection. Her time, filled up with useful and 
benevolent deeds, will glide along, as on angels' 
wings; while looking forward to Heaven as 
her sure and happy home, all the little troubles 
of life w^ill seem light, and all its comforts will ^ 
be doubled in value. 

If, then, our happiness depends so much on / 
the character we form, when we calculate the 
advantages of any situation, we should take 
into account the influence it w^ill have on our 
character. Now there are some respects in 
which I think the situation of domestics very 
favourable to the formation of a good character. 

In the first place, it is a situation in which 
persons form a habit of submitting their will to 
the will of another, with readiness and cheer- 
fulness. You will always find that children 
who are never governed, and who therefore 
never learn to give up their wills readily and 
cheerfully, generally grow up to be forward, 



72 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

imperious, headstrong and reckless. They go 
out into a world where nobody will indulge 
and humour them as their parents have done. 
On the contrary every body is looking out for 
their own rights and interests, and none are 
disposed to put up with their imperious airs 
and selfish demands. In consequence of this, 
they are always getting into trouble, always 
irritated, always discontented. If they had 
been trained to give up their wills to others 
cheerfully and readily, in early life, half these 
troubles would have been escaped. 

Besides this, we must remember that both 
in this life and forever, we have got to learn 
to be happy in giving up our wills to the Great 
Maker and Father of all, and the more we are 
trained to submission of the will, the easier this 
first and greatest of all duties will become. 

A person, then, who goes into a family and 
agrees, for a suitable compensation, to do the 
work, under the direction of those w^ho hire, 
is in a state of constant training, which has 
a most beneficial tendency in preparing for 
future life, both here and in another world. 
Such a person will find it far easier to give up 



ENGAGED IN DOrvlKSTIC SERVICE. 73 



to her fellow creatures and sincerely to pray, 
" Not my will but thine be done," than one 
who never has been subjected to any such 
■control. 

It has often and truly been said, that those 
only know how to command, who have learn- 
ed to obey. In proof of this, we always find 
that none make such hard masters, or such 
severe and unreasonable parents, as those who 
have never practised the duty of subordination 
themselves. In this happy country, domestics 
have as fair a prospect as any class of persons 
ofbecoming heads of a family, when others w^ili 
have to be controlled by them. And nothing 
so efficiently prepares them for such a station, 
as having been themselves placed in the posi- 
tion which a -domestic holds. 

Another very great advantage gained in 
domestic service is, learning how to perform 
all the work of a family in a proper manner. 
A female domestic has a chance to observe how 
the mother governs children, and to take warn- 
ing by her mistakes, and profit by her good 
example. She has a chance to be with chil- 



74 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

dren, and to learn how to manage their Httle 
faults, and bear with their foil es. 

She learns the proper modes of cooking food, 
of arranging a house, of taking care of furni- 
ture, and of doing all the various kinds of work 
which in future life she must either do herself, 
or else direct others to do. 

She learns various modes of economizing, 
and of systematizing work. She acquires a 
habit of taking care of others, and of providing 
for their comforts and wants, so as to qualify 
her for these benevolent services when she has 
a family of her own. 

She also has an employment that is health- 
ful, because it demands a great deal of exercise, 
most of it within doors, and not in any way in- 
jurious. She also has regular daily business, 
and is obliged to be industrious — and a habit 
of industry is one of the truest sources of con- 
tentment and happiness. 

Besides this, a domestic is brought into con- 
tact with a great variety of tempers, and learns 
to accommodate, and to govern her temper and 
tongue as she never could do without this kind 
of trial. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 75 

A domestic, too, is in a situation in which 
she is, all the time, called on to give up her own 
ease and time to promote the comfort of others, 
and this tends to make the duty of self-denying 
benevolence, more easy to learn. This is the 
great duty which Jesus Christ came to teach 
us by his precepts and example, and the more 
we can imitate him in this, the more we shall 
be prepared to serve and enjoy him in that 
world where he has gone, and where he in- 
vites us to prepare ourselves to come, by imita- 
ting him. 

It thus appears that if a domestic is ever 
to be married, she is going through exactly 
the best training possible, to prepare her to 
conform her will and wishes to those of her 
husband, to train up her children well, and 
to beco lie a1\eat, industrious and economical 
housekeeper. If she is not to be married, she 
is forming a character that is best calculated 
to raise up around her, in the families where 
she labours, sincere and valuable friends, who 
will make her old age easy and respectable. 
And whatever may be her future earthly lot, 
she is under the best kind of training to make 



76 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

her a submissive, benevolent and self den} ing 
Christian, and thus to fit her for her eternal 
home. 

I will now show some of the reasons why 
the emploj^naent of a sempstress, a shop girl, 
and a factory girl are inferior in advantages 
and respectability to that of a domestic. 

In all of these employments, a young wo- 
man has only one thing to do, from morning to 
night, and the kind of work she does in no 
way tends to improve her character, or to pre- 
pare her for domestic life. She is not con- 
stantly doing various kinds of work, under the 
direction of another, thus learning patience, 
submission, diligence and faithfulness. She is 
not learning how to economize, or keep house, 
or take care of children. She is not acquiring 
a habit of ministering to the wants and com- 
forts of others. In most cases she has a seden- 
tary employment, that keeps her fi^om the exer- 
cise and fresh air, so needful to good health. 
She is thrown out of the circle of family friend- 
ships, and the safe asylum of domestic life, and 
is often brought into contact with selfish and 
vicious persons, whose influence tends to injure 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 77 

her tastes and morals, and in many cases to 
blast her reputation and character forever. In 
general, she cannot have as much time as do- 
mestics can gain, to take care of her clothes, 
or to read, and thus improve her mind. 

I have known cases, where young girls 
have left the place of a domestic in a good 
family, to go to shops or manufactories, who, 
after the trial, have returned with broken down 
health, to mourn over those influences, which 
had done even more evil to the mind, than 
had been inflicted on the body. 

If I had a young sister, who must earn her 
own support by the labor of her hands, I would 
Jirst look for a place for her as a domestic in 
a kind, well educated and Christian family, as 
the safest, the happiest, the most useful place 
I could find. 

And I should consider the sedentary, home- 
less employment of a sempstress, or the still 
more dangerous and injurious employments, of 
the shop or manufactory, as every way inferior 
in advantages and respectability. And I trust 
a time will come, when all those most inter- 
ested in the matter, will view this subject in the 
same light. 



78 LETTERS TO PERSONS 



LITTER YIIL 

The importance of raising the respectability of the 
station of a domestic, in public estimation, and the 
mode by whicia it can be done. 

My Friends : 

I have in previous letters shown, that the 
station of a domestic is honourable and respect- 
able ', and that it is a far more desirable situa- 
tion than that of many deemed superior to it. 
I have also shown some of the reasons why it 
is not regarded as so honourable and respecta- 
ble as it ought to be. 

I now wish to point out some of the reasons 
why it is very important, both to employers and 
to domestics, that this employment should be 
raised, in general estimation, to that honour and 
respectability which really belongs to it. 

To understand the subject properly, you 
must bear in mind these things. This nation 
is now more prosperous than any other in the 
world, and almost any man of intelligence, 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 79 

industry, and honesty, can, after a few years^ 
gain so much wealth that he can afford to hire 
a domestic to help his wife. Such men, when 
young, are frequently marrying persons who 
are domestics. In this way it comes about, 
that the number of domestics is diminish- 
ing, and the number of those who wish 
to hire domestics is increasing. Domestics 
are constantly changing to be the mistresses 
of families, who wish to hire domestics them- 
selves. 

At the same time, women can be hired so 
much cheaper than men, that it is becoming 
more and more common to hire women to do 
what in past times was done by men in shops, 
stores, and manufactories. And though, in 
many cases, no greater wages are gained than 
domestics secure, yet as these places are con- 
sidered superior in respectability, many w^ho 
would otherwise go to service in families, 
pref r such places, even when hey work longer 
and for less wages. But in some cases, women 
have far higher wages offered than are ever 
given to domestics. 

These causes are operating constantly t© 



80 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

diminish the number of domestics, until, in some 
parts of the country, many ladies cannot hire 
any person to do their family work on any 
terms, and though they are very wealthy, they 
are obliged to do all their own work. And 
the more prosperous this country grows, the 
more this scarcity of domestics will increase^ 
unless something is done to remedy the diffi- 
culty. 

And this will be the greater misfortune, be- 
cause most young women, who have wealthy 
parents, are brought up in such a way, that 
they have a delicate constitution that cannot 
bear hard labour. When, therefore, they are 
married, not being able to hire domestics, their 
health and strength fail under the care and la- 
bours that come upon them ; they lose their 
courage and spirits, life becomes a burden, and 
often, they drag out a weary life, or sink to 
an early grave. This brings anxiety, trouble, 
and care on husbands and fathers, and when 
the comforts of home are gone, the road to vice 
is near, while children, turned oiF for want of 
time, are still greater sufferers. Since I have 
travelled so much in this nation, I have been 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 81 

greatly distressed at the amount of care, anxie- 
ty and sorrow that oppress so many thousands, 
for want of proper aid from domestics. It is 
therefore of the greatest consequence to em- 
ployers, that the station of a domestic should 
be so raised in comfort and respectability, 
that it will be regarded as a desirable situation 
by the thousands that are now employed in 
work injurious to themselves. 

It is quite as important to all who must 
labour with their hands for a livelihood, that 
the station of a domestic should be regarded as 
a respectable and desirable one. I have shown 
how much superior this situation is to that of 
a shop or a manufactory, and it would be a 
great blessing to the young women of this na- 
tion, who earn their livelihood, if they so regard- 
ed it. 

It is a matter, then, that equally interests 
all classes in society to inquire, How shall the 
station and employment of a domestic be 
raised in public estimation, so as to be regard- 
ed honourable and respectable, as much so 
as it deserves to be 1 

Now this can be accomplished only by 
8 



J 



82 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

having hoik sides try to bring it about. On 
the side of employers, pains must be taken to 
render the situation of domestics agreeable and 
comfortable, and to secure for them time and 
means to gain a good education and a com- 
fortable support. And many intelligent per- 
sons are now feeling the importance of this. 
I have heard many gentlemen say, " When we 
get good domestics, we must pay them so well, 
and treat them so well, that they will feel that 
they cannot improve their condition by any 
change." And I have seen many sensible 
women acting according to this advice. 

But as this book is not designed for em- 
ployers, but for domestics, I will confine my- 
self to pointing out the modes by which you 
can contribute to raise the respectability of 
your situation. 

To give you my views more clearly, I will 
describe a domestic who does the work in a 
family where I have resided. 

In the first place, she always dresses her- 
self neatly, and yet n a style fitting the work 
she has to do, while she keeps her chamber 
and kitchen in such neat order, and there is 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 83 

such a look of comfort and respectability about 
her and all her concerns, that every one likes 
to see her in her kitchen. Then she is intel- 
ligent and well educated, at least enough so 
to know that it is lady-like to be respectful 
and polite to every body. If any person 
comes into her kitchen, she offers a chair, and 
treats them with the same politeness that is 
shown by the lady of the house to her visitors. 

Then she always does all her work well. 
Her bread is always the best, her meats are 
well cooked, her vegetables served hot and in 
the neatest order. She is economical and \/ 
careful, too, so that nothing is wasted by neg- 
lect. She is not set in her own ways, but is 
always ready to do any kind of work that her 
employer wishes done, and to do it in the man- 
ner requested. 

When the children come into the kitchen, 
if she has time and it is convenient, she makes 
it pleasant to them, but if they give her trouble, 
as she has authority given her to do this, she 
decidedly, but kindly, requires their instant de- 
parture. 

She is so prudent, kind, and discreet, that 



84 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

the lady who employs her can, at any time, 
leave the care of her family and her children 
with her, and feel entirely at ease, knowing 
that every thing will be done in the best man- 
ner during her absence. And in times of sick- 
ness, she always looks to her kitchen for the 
tender sympathy and watchful care, which she 
never fails to find. 

In the evenings, this domestic employs her- 
self in the care of her own wardrobe, and finds 
some leisure time to read the books and papers 
that are abundantly supplied. In this w^ay she 
stores her mind with useful and entertaining 
knowledge, so that this, with her native sense 
and shrewdness, makes her society agreeable 
and valued by the best educated persons. 

It is true she has her frailties — for w^ho is 
perfect ? But these excellencies seem so to 
cover them over, that they are almost forgotten. 
Now the consequence of all this is, that more 
pains is taken in that family, to make this do- 
mestic comfortable and contented than is given 
to almost any other person. She is always treated 
with respect and kindness, and as she is never 
unreasonable in her requests, whatever she ex- 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 85 

presses a desire for, is always secured for her, if 
possible. Her chamber, her kitchen, and all 
her comforts are carefully provided for, and 
the children would no more invade her rights, 
or treat her with disrespect, than they would 
treat their parents thus. 

Now, I believe there are hundreds in this 
land, who, if they could get such a domestic as 
this, would agree to pay her almost any thing 
she, or any one would think of asking. Money, 
if it could secure such a domestic, would be of 
little account, wath the multitudes, who now 
find that w^ealth cannot secure for them the 
services needed to make home comfortable. 

You will now understand why I would 
advise, as the surest way of raising the respect- 
ablity of your employment, to raise the charac- 
ter of domestics. Whenever a time comes in 
which such a domestic as the one I have de- 
scribed, is a fair picture of the whole class, it is 
very certain that the respect and regard that 
should be given to this employment, never will 
be witheld. 

I have heard ladies of great good sense, 
and in the highest circles in our land, talk in 

8* 



s/' 



86 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

this manner : " Now if I only could find do- 
mestics who are intelhgent, well-bred, neat in 
dress and person, and who so understand the 
proprieties of their station as to set a good ex- 
ample to my children, I should not have the 
least objection to their sitting in my parlour, 
or at my table, whenever it was convenient, 
nor to treating them in all respects as the 
friends and companions of my children. But 
such domestics we cannot find." 

This single remark will show to you the 
reason why there often is a necessity of making 
so much difference between the situation of 
employers and domestics, as is generally seen 
in the most wealthy and intelligent circles. 
Parents, in the best society, wish to have their 
children trained so as to appear properly in 
the circles in which they move. For this end 
they strive to make them neat in dress and 
person, polite and respectful in manners, par- 
ticularly in the use of refined and grammatical 
language, and careful to observe propriety in 
their behaviour at table and in society. Now 
if they could get domestics who would set a 
good example before their children, in these 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 87 

respects, it would be very agreeable to them 
to have them in the parlour and at table with 
the children, whenever it was convenient. 
But if domestics neglect their person, if their 
dress is negligent and untidy, if they are rough 
and coarse in their manners, and rude and dis- 
respectful in address, if they use incorrect lan- 
guage and neglect the rules of propriety at 
table and in society, there is a very good rea- 
son for excluding them from the table and par- 
lour, where their example would injure children 
and be offensive and disagreeable to visitors. 

And it is a benefit to domestics that such 
feelings exist, for it tends to encourage them 
to try to be neat, tidy, well-bred and well ed- 
ucated. If there were no advantages to be 
gained by a good education and good manners, 
no one would try to gain them. This is one 
reason why God has appointed it, that the more 
we improve in these respects, the more our es- 
timation in society, and our comfort in all res- 
pects will be increased. 

On the subject of having domestics sit in 
the parlour and eat with the family these things 
must be taken into consideration. There are 



88 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

some families who live in such a way that it is 
perfectly conve/nienf for them, to have the one 
who cooks and waits on table, eat and sit with 
the family. And then, if the character and man- 
ners of a domestic are suitable, there is no 
reason why this practice should not be adopted. 
But there is another class of persons, whose 
style of living is such, that it would be very in- 
convenient to have the one who cooks and 
w^aits on table sit and eat wdth the family. In 
such families one person is needed during meals 
to attend to matters in the kitchen, and another 
person to change dishes and carry food back 
and forth, and if these persons sat at table 
there would be constant disorder" and confusion 
in jumping up from table to perform these ser- 
vices, while a dress suitable for kitchen work 
would not be suitable at a table where com- 
pany is often entertained. Besides this, the 
master of a family often is so engaged in busi- 
ness that the only time he can see his wife 
and children together is at meals, and then he 
wishes to be at liberty to talk freely, as he could 
not do, if every stranger be hires must come 
to his family meal. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 89 

For these reasons, even if domestics were 
ever so well educated and well bred, there 
are reasons why it would be more agree- 
able and convenient to have the family eat 
and sit by themselves, and domestics eat and 
sit in the kitchen. And when domestics do 
become intelhgent, and well educated, they 
will have sense enough to feel, that the place 
where they sit or eat, has nothing to do with 
their respectability. They will see that it is 
most convenient to sit and eat in the kitchen, 
and they will choose to do so themselves, and 
never think that it is any hardship, or any thing 
that implies, that they are not as good and as 
respectable as any other members of the family. 

It is because domestics do not consider 
these things, that they sometimes feel that it 
is all owing to pride, that their employers do 
not have their domestics share the parlour and 
family meal. Now I do not doubt that there 
are some employers that have a foolish pride 
of this sort, which is as unworthy of a Chris- 
tian, as it is of a republican people. But so 
far as I have observed, it is among those who 



90 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

have the least claims to be considered as well 
bred and well educated. 

The more education and good sense a per- 
son has, the more it is seen that respectability 
depends not on the employment, but on the 
character of a person. And those who put on 
the most airs of aristocracy and superiority, are 
generally those who have risen from circum- 
stances where they had no chance to gain the 
education and good breeding, that would have 

taught them better. 

But in most cases, among well educated 

and sensible persons, the great reason for hav- 
ing domestics have a separate sitting-room and 
tables is, that it is more convenient to the fam- 
ily, and in most cases, it is also most convenient 
and agreeable to domestics themselves. 

When domestics cannot dress and appear 
like the family, and when their education and 
manners do not qualify them for the society 
that visits the family, in most cases, they them- 
selves w^ould prefer to sit and to eat in the 
kitchen, and would regard it as a great trial to 
be obliged to sit and eat with the family. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 91 



LETTER IX. 

On the duties of subordination. Rules of the Bible, 
ilespectful manners the mark of a lady. 

My Friends : 

I have shown that the chief way in which 
the station of a domestic is to be raised in pub- 
lic estimation, is by raising the character of 
those who occupy this situation. I have shown 
also, that it is by the formation of a right 
character, that we are to secure true happiness 
both in this and in a future life. You will there- 
fore understand the propriety of my attempt- 
ing to point out the course which you need to 
take in order to form the right character, and 
also the proper manner of performing your va- 
rious duties in life. 

In attempting this, I will first direct your 
attention to what are called the duties of sub- 
ordination. 

By this I mean those duties owed by all 



92 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

persons to those who have authority, or any 
right to control and direct them. We all of 
us know that no kind of work can be well done, 
unless there are overseers to direct those who 
work. For this reason, every kind of business 
is managed by persons, who have authority to 
control others. The rulers of a nation have a 
right to direct others in all points where the 
laws require them so to do. The captain of a 
ship has authority to command all his hands. 
The master of a store, or shop, has a right to 
control all who work in his employ. The 
teacher of a school has a right to command his 
scholars in all matters pertaining to his school. 
The master and mistress of a family, too, have 
a right to control their children, and also all 
those persons whom they hire to do their work, 
in all matters relating to this work. 

In all these cases, those who are entitled to 
direct others should be treated with respect by 
those who are under their control ; and in all 
those matters where they have a right to com- 
mand, they should be cheerfully and exactly 
obeyed. 

This duty is constantly, and often enjoined 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 93 

by God in his Holy Word. " Submit yourselves 
to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake." 
" Obey those that have rule over you." " Ren- 
der therefore to all their dues, fear to whom 
fear, and honour to whom honour is due." 

It is because the duties of subordination are 
so important to the happiness of those who are 
to be controlled, as well as to society at large, 
that God so often and so earnestly urges these 
duties in the Bible. And we cannot fully 
realize the force of these directions, unless we 
bear in mind the state of things that existed 
when they were written. 

In the first place, the kings and rulers over 
the people, in those times when these directions 
were given, were not those appointed by them- 
selves, who were to rule according to laws 
made by the people for their own good, as is 
the case in this country. Instead of this, the 
rulers were bad men and cruel tyrants, who by 
the help of their soldiers gained powder and 
authority by mere strength. And in the fam- 
ily state, the domestics w^ere not, as in this 
country, persons w^ho for a rew^ard agree to 
perform the work of the family. On the con- 

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94 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

trary, they were white men and women, w^ho 
were forced against their will into servitude, 
and driven by stripes and cruelties to work for 
their masters. Some of these white slaves, it 
is probable, were from England, the land of our 
forefathers. 

Now what were the directions given by God 
to subjects, and to domestics, in these circum- 
stances ? He did not tell them, that because 
their rulers and masters were bad men, and 
had gained power in a wrong way, that they 
might refuse to obey. On the contrary, God 
saw that it was best, whenever men gain the 
power over others, that the weaker ones should 
submit and obey. He teaches us that the power 
w'hich men gain over each other in this way, is 
permitted by God. In Pro v. 8 : 15, 16, God says, 
" By me kings rule, and princes decree justice. 
By me princes rule, and nobles, even all the 
judges of the earth." This teaches us, that in 
whatever way it may be, that men gain power 
to rule over others, so long as they really hold 
this power, it is by the permission of God. 
Though he may disapprove of the men, and of 
the means they use to get power, yet so long 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 95 

as they hold the power, He sees that it is best 
for all they govern, to submit and obey. Thus 
in Eccles. 5. 19, it is said : " Wher<i the word 
of a king is, there is power, and who may say 
to him, what doest thou 1" Again, in Daniel 2: 
20, it is written, " Blessed be the name of 
God for ever and ever : for wisdom and might 
are his : and he changeth the times and the 
seasons; He removeth kings, and setteth up 
kings. Dan. 4. 32, " The Most High ruleth in 
the kingdom of men, and giveth it to whom- 
soever he will." Thus it appears that it is by 
God's will and appointment, that even bad men 
gain power to rule over others. And when 
they have gained this power, the following 
texts show what God requires in regard to the 
honour and obedience to be rendered to them. 
In Matt. 22 : 21, when some men came to 
Christ asking him whether it was their duty to 
pay tribute to Caesar, who was the cruel ty- 
rant then ruling over them. To this, Christ^ 
replied, after looking at the tribute money, 
" Render unto Caesar the things that are 
Caesar's, and unto God the things that are 
God's." This means, render to Caesar what 



96 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

he has power to require, just as you render 
your duties to God. 

The Apostle Peter, by God's authority, also 
teaches thus, 1 Peter 2 : 13, 14, " Submit your- 
selves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's 
sake, whether it be to kings as supreme, or 
unto governors, as unto them that are sent by 
him, for the punishment of evil doers. As free, 
and not using your liberty for a cloak of ma- 
liciousness, but as the servants of God." 

This command teaches us that we are to 
submit to every ordinance of man for the Lord^s 
sake. That is, when men have power to make 
laws, customs and ordinances, we must submit 
to them for the Lord's sake — that is, in order 
to please and obey God. The only cases where 
it is right to resist is, when we are commanded 
to do what is sinful. It was on this principle 
that our forefathers, for a long time, obeyed 
the laws of the king of England ; even when 
they w^ere bad laws. But as soon as the people 
found they had power to make their own laws, 
they appointed rulers of their own, and then they 
ceased to obey the king of England, who had 
not power to force them to do it -, and obeyed 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 97 

their own rulers, who had power given them 
to govern by the people. As soon, then, as it is 
found, that men have power given them to 
rule, God requires those under them to submit 
and obey for the Lord's sake. This is the wisest 
and safest way, for it saves from constant fight- 
ing and quarrels. In the story of the ship- 
w^recked company, we can see that it would have 
been better for them all, to submit to be gov- 
erned by one man, even if he was a bad man, 
than to continue in the state of uproar, disor- 
der and oppression that existed when there 
was none to rule over them. 

The same sort of directions also, were given 
by God to domestics. 

At the time these were written in the Bible, 
men and women were made servants by force, 
and their masters had power to whip, starve 
and murder them without punishment. God 
saw, that in this case, it was safest and best for 
servants, as well as for the whole community, 
that they should submit to those who had this 
power. Accordingly the Apostle Paul, by au- 
thority from God, gives these directions, Eph. 
S : 5, " Servants, be obedient to them that are 

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98 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

your masters according to the flesh, with fear 
and trembling, in singleness of heart, as unto 
Christ, doincr the will of God from the heart. 
With good will doing service, as to the Lord, 
and not to men, knowing that whatsoever good 
thing a man doeth, the same shall be received of 
the Lord, whether he be bond or free." Here, 
those who were held in the most cruel bondage, 
were required, so long as they were in the power 
of their masters, to submit, and not only to 
serve them, but to do service " with good will" 
" as to the Lord." That means, feel kindly to 
your masters, and do them good, for the sake 
of obeying and pleasing Jesus Christ. 

Again, the same apostle writes. Col. 3 : 22, 
" Servants, obey in all things your masters 
according to the flesh ; not with eye-service, 
as men-pleasers, but in singleness of heart, 
fearing God. And whatsoever ye do, do it 
heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men, know- 
ing that ye shall receive the reward of the in- 
heritance, for ye serve the Lord Christ." 
Again, Paul, when teaching Titus how to per- 
form his duties as a minister of Christ, directs 
thus, Titus 2:9," Exhort servants to be 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 99 

obedient to their own masters, and to please 
them well in all things ; not answering again ; 
not purloining, but showing all good fidelity, 
that they may adorn the doctrine of God our 
Saviour in all things." 

Another Apostle thus commands, by the au- 
thority of God, 1 Peter 2 : 18, 19, " Servants, 
be subject to your masters with all fear, not 
only to the good and gentle, but also to the 
Jroward. For this is thankworthy, if a man, 
for conscience tow^ard God, endure grief, suf- 
fering WTongfully> For what glory is it, if 
when ye be buffeted for your faults ye take it 
patiently ? But, if when ye do well, and suf- 
fer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable 
to God. For even hereunto ye were called ; 
because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us 
an example that ye should follow his steps : 
who did no sin, neither was guile found in his 
mouth : who, when he was reviled, reviled 
not again ; when he suffered he threatened not, 
but committed himself to Him that judgeth 
righteously." 

Now, consider that these directions were 
given to persons, taken contrary to their own 



100 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

wishes and the wishes of their parents, and 
subjected to the most degrading servitude, with- 
out any compensation. Such were required by 
God to " be obedient in all things," to '' please 
their masters w^ell in all things ^" not to answer 
again when reproved ; not to purloin ; but to 
show all good fidelity ; to do service with good 
will, and not only to the good and gentle, but 
also to the froward ; and to do all this, not for 
the sake of pleasing men, but to please Christ. 
Now, if all this was demanded of those who 
were made to serve by force, what must be the 
duty of those who by their own will, or by the 
will of parents, go into a family to serve for a 
fair compensation previously agreed upon ? 
They go into a family, where the house and all 
its furniture belong to their employers, who 
therefore, not only have power but a perfect 
right to direct how they shall be used. They 
put themselves freely under the direction of 
their employers, and agree to do their work as 
ihey wish it to be done, and they receive a re- 
ward for this service. Their employers are 
appointed by God, as the rulers and overseers 
of the family, and those they hire are under 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 101 

obligation to obey, in all matters relating to 
family work, just as a citizen is under obliga- 
tions to obey rulers, when they administer the 
laws of the state. The master and mistress 
of a family are rulers of their house, just as 
magistrates are rulers of the people. 

A gentleman of the highest standing for 
wealth, intelligence, and honour, obeys his ru- 
lers in all points where they have a right to 
direct, whether the laws are good or bad, 
whether the rulers are wise or foolish. So 
long as the people, who have the power, make 
such laws and appoint such rulers, he submits 
and obeys until he and others can get the laws 
and rulers changed. And every intelligent 
man feels that he is honoured in paying this 
respect to laws and rulers. 

It should be just so in the family state. 
Whether the rulers of a family are wise or fool- 
ish, whether they make good or bad rules 
about their work, domestics, as long as they 
agree to serve them, should submit to their di- 
rections. If they do not like the rulers, or the 
laws of the family, still they honour themselves 



102 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

in obeying, until they can have a chance to 
change overseers and rules. 

And all those directions, which v^ere given 
to persons forced to service against their own 
wishes, are much more binding on those, who 
of their own accord put themselves under the 
direction of the rulers of a family. " Obey 
them that have the rule over you" is the law of 
God, given to domestics in the family state, as 
much as it is to subjects in the political state. 
And the only w^ay to be freed from this obhga- 
tion is, to give up your place and relation as a 
domestic in a family. 

There is another duty owed to those who 
have rule over us, that in this country is not 
properly realized by any, except it may be by 
the most sensible and intelligent part of the 
community. It is the duty of treating all who 
are our superiors either in age, character, or 
station with respect. The Bible requires us to 
" honour our father and mother," whether they 
are good or bad, wise or foolish. It requires 
us to " render honour to whom honour is due." 
It requires us ever to " be courteous" whatever 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 103 

may be the situation of those we have to deal 
with. 

Now the rulers and overseers of a family- 
are placed in a situation where they are enti- 
tled to respectful treatment from all in their 
household, whatever may be their own char- 
acter. It is of the utmost importance that 
children be trained to treat their parents, and 
all who have rule over them, or who are in any 
w^ay their superiors, with respect, and this is the 
chief reason why it is so important for domes- 
tics to do the same, so as to set a proper exam- 
ple to children. And all well educated and 
intelligent persons so well understand the im- 
portance of rendering respectful language and 
manners to all who are their superiors, either 
in age, relationship, or station, that they always 
feel themselves honoured by doing it. 

See that well bred gentleman ! He is 
the governor of the state, the most learned man 
at the bar, the most wealthy man in the place, 
one whom every one honours for his talents and 
virtues. He is also the head and master of his 
own family, in which resides his father, broken 
down in mind by the decay of age. The aged 



104 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

father enters the roomj and the learned and 
wise politician, the master of the house and the 
governor of the state, rises with respect, speaks 
to him with the greatest reverence, gives him 
the first place of honour and comfort, and ever 
treats his opinions and wishes with deference 
and respect. This is because this old man is 
his superior in age and relationship, and every 
one admires the son for his good breeding and 
sense of propriety. This same governor goes 
into the street and meets a worthy and respec- 
table man, who supports himself by the labour 
of his hands. The governor bows to him, and 
addresses him with a respectful air and manner. 
This is because the man has a character which 
entitles him to respect, and all admire the go- 
vernor, for his good breeding in rendering this 
respect. 

Take another case. This governor goes 
out of office, and a person of small talents and 
little worth, by popular arts, succeeds him. 
There is a grand military parade, and the new 
governor is reviewing the troops, while the 
late governor is an officer under him. This 
former governor steps out of his ranks to the 



ENGAGED IN DOaiESTIG .SERVICE. 105 

present governor and says, " Will your excel- 
lency allow me to go away a short time on 
some important business ?" The governor re- 
plies, " Not at present, sir ; I am about to order 
a manoeuvre and shall need your aid." The 
gentleman bows respectfully to the governor, 
returns to his place, and instead of feeling de- 
graded, he feels honoured in thus setting an ex- 
ample of respectful obedience to one, who for 
the time is his superior, and has rule over him. 
And all observers honour him, far more than 
they would if he had looked angry, or refused 
to obey his superior in command. Real gen- 
tlemen pride themselves on rendering strict 
obedience, and respectful language and man- 
ners to all, who are in any manner their supe- 
riors in office or relationship. 

In like manner, real well bred ladies, feel 
it to be for their own credit to treat those with 
courtesy or respect, who have any claims 
either of character or relationship, or office. 
See that w^ealthy, well educated and well bred 
lady ! A worthy, respectable woman comes 
into her house to bring home some work that 
she was hired to do. The lady salutes her 

10 



106 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

with courtesy and respect, offers her a seat, and 
treats her with the same politeness of manner 
as she would render to the highest lady in the 
land. And every observer feels that this is one 
mark of her good breeding, which entitles her 
to the name of a " real lady." 

Look now at that young woman! Why 
does every one call her vulgar and ill bred ? 
It is because she goes up with a careless and 
disrespectful air to all she meets, and her tone 
and manner seem to say, " I am as good as you, 
and I mean to let you know it." She tells just 
what she thinks about them, and their conduct, 
contradicts their opinions ilatly, and makes no 
effort to show that she has any respect for them 
or their notions. Look now at her young 
companion, whom all admire for lady-like man- 
ners. She alw^ays speaks in a modest and res- 
pectful tone, treats all with courtesy and res- 
pect, seems to be thinking of the convenience 
and comfort of others as much as of her own, 
and always avoids what will make those 
around her feel uneasy or uncomf rtable. 
These are the manners of a lady, and if a do- 
mestic feels any ambition to be thought a well 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 107 

bred lady, she can gain this character in no way 
so surely as by adopting this style of manners. 

On this point I would commend to your 
notice that " golden rule" so good to direct 
in all our pursuits : " Do unto others as you 
would that others should do unto you." 

Now if you ever have a family yourself, 
and have persons to help you, would you not 
think it right and proper that they should do 
your work as you wished it done ? — and would 
you not feel that it was proper that your chil- 
dren should treat you with respect, and that 
your domestics should set them a proper exam- 
ple in this particular ? No doubt you would, and 
therefore do unto your employers as you would 
that others should do unto you, if your circum- 
stances are changed and you become employer 
instead of domestic. 

There is an advantage to yourselves in 
doing this, that you are not apt to realize. A 
habit is the ease we acquire in doing any thing 
by frequently practising it. Now, as one of 
the chief indications of good breeding is polite 
and respectful manners, if you practise this 
mode of address to your employers, you are 



108 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

gradually formiDg a habit that will make such 
a mode of address easy and natural. This will 
be qualifying you to appear with advantage 
among well bred and well educated people. 
Now it very often happens, in this country, 
that a woman W'ho goes to service, marries a 
sensible, industrious and business man, w^ho, 
after some years, acquires that w^ealth and in- 
fluence that bring him and his family to associate 
with the best educated and best bred people in 
the place where he lives. In this case, a person, 
who in the capacity of a domestic, has cultiva- 
ted the manners proper for a domestic, will find 
that they are exactly the manners that fit her 
to appear like a well bred lady, in the higher 
sphere to which she has risen. 

On the contrary, a domestic, who is rude 
and disrespectful in her mode of address, and 
unwilling to appear as if she honoured and res- 
pected those who have the rule over a family, 
never can appear otherwise than as a coarse 
and vulgar person, however much her husband's 
w^ealth and character may raise her in society. 
It is therefore as much for your own advantage, 
as it is for that of your employers and their chil- 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 109 

dren, that you cultivate a habit of respectful 
address, and of cheerful obedience to those who 
hire your services. 



10* 



110 LETTERS TO PERSONS 



LETTER X. 

On Visiting, Company, and Religious Meetings. On 
going out, and having company. Religious meet- 
ings. A story to illustrate. 

There are some particulars where domes- 
tics feel that their employers have no right to 
control them, and on these points I hope you 
will allow me, as a friend, to offer a little ad- 
vice. 

You perhaps may feel that it is your own 
concern what company you visit, and who visit 
you, and that, after your work is done, you have 
a right to go where you please without asking 
leave of your employers. 

But here I wish you would try yourselves 
by " the golden rule." Suppose you to look 
forward to a time when you are the mistress 
of a family, and hire persons to help you do 
the work, would you not in such a case feel 
thus : I have hired these persons and pay them 
for their time, and they have agreed to do my 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. Ill 

family work at the time and in the way I wish. 
Now they cannot know, without asking, when 
I can spare them and when I shall need their 
help. There are always times when, if the 
regular work of the day is done up, some extra 
work, or some sickness, or other causes, may 
make it needful for them to stay at home. 
Therefore, I think it right to expect that those I 
hire will not either go out, or invite company 
to come and see them, without first inquiring 
of me whether it will be convenient. Do you 
not think you should feel and think thus 1 
Now, therefore, whatsoever ye would that others 
should do unto you, do ye the same unto them. 
In obedience, therefore, to this law of Christ, I 
would advise you never to go out anywhere, 
and never to invite persons to visit you, with- 
out first inquiring of the mistress of the family 
w^hether it will be convenient to her. 

In regard to selecting your companions, re- 
member the Word of God, " He that walketh 
with the wise shall be wise, but the companion 
of fools shall be destroyed." There is nothing 
that so much influences our character and hap- 
piness, as the companions we associate with, 



112 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

and therefore it is of the utmost consequence 
that you find your associates among the most 
respectable, amiable, and conscientious per- 
sons, and that you shun the society of the gay, 
thoughtless and unprincipled. 

There is another point where domestics feel 
that their employers have no right to control, 
and this still more demands your attention, in 
order that you may do what is right and best 
for yourselves. I refer to the frequent attend- 
ance on evening meetings, and the late hours 
which are sometimes the consequence of this. 
Now what I wish you to reflect on, in reference 
to this, I can best exhibit by relating another 
story. 

'" A S T O R Y . 

Once there was a very good king, and he 
had a large residence at some distance from his 
court. At this residence there was a large 
household of servants, whose business it was to 
keep it in constant readiness, so that whenever 
the king wished, he could go there and find 
every thing in order. 

Now these servants were very apt to be 



ENfJAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 113 

careless and negligent of their business, and 
often became so engrossed in their own amuse- 
ments, that they forgot entirely the business 
they were placed there to do. In consequence 
of this, the king used often to send messengers 
to them, who would strive to keep them in 
order, and who WTote down in a book the rules 
that should guide them in the performance of 
every duty. But there still continued great 
havoc, waste and misrule. At last the only 
son of the king, who was a very tender-heart- 
ed prince, aftd loved these servants very much, 
came among them ; for he feared that unless 
something was done, when his father arrived, 
they would all be turned away, and become 
miserably poor and wretched. So this excel- 
lent prince came and staid a long time with 
these servants ; he worked with them himself, 
and showed them by his own example, the 
right way of doing every thing ; and then he 
wrote down the rules in a book, and placed it 
so that every one could go to it and learn their 
duties. 

But it was not a long time after the prince 
returned to his father's court, before all the ser- 



114 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

rants were divided up into parties about the 
proper way of doing the work. All agreed 
that the prince told them that his father would 
soon come, that he would come suddenly and 
unexpectedly — and that it was his will that 
every part of the house should be cleansed, and 
every thing put in order. There was no dis- 
pute about this. 

But the parties w^ere divided in this man- 
ner : A large portion of them maintained that 
the most important thing to be done was to 
have the water for cleaning house kept very 
hot, and that it must be hot all the time — and 
so they spent most of their time in getting fuel 
and blowing the fire — and they would sit up 
sometimes half the night to make fires and keep 
the water hot. And they considered themselves 
as the best servants in the house for their care 
and diligence in this respect, and upbraided 
their companions for allowing so much cold- 
ness to get in the water they were to use. 

Then there was another portion that were 
very much excited about the manner in which 
the water was to be used. 

They seemed to think it was indispensable 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 115 

that it should be poured on all over the floor, so 
as to cover every part of it, before commenc- 
ing the use of the mop or floor cloth. They 
insisted on it that this was the way the prince 
directed them to use it — that he had it put on 
in this manner himself, and that, in the book of 
directions, he was very exact in stating that it 
must be used thus. And they insisted upon it, 
as one of the most important of all their duties, 
that the water should be used in this particular 
way, so that their thoughts and efforts were 
much taken up with this matter. 

Then there was another party, and they 
thought that it was of the greatest consequence 
that the servants should understand who were 
to be their overseers to direct in the way the 
work was to be done. They maintained that 
the young prince had expressly directed who 
should be overseers and who should not, so 
that even if a man was well qualified to direct, 
and his fellow servants were wilHng to be di- 
rected by him, it would not do to go on so. 
And they spent a great deal of time and labour 
and feeling, in arguing with their fellow-ser- 
vants to try to convince them that most of the 



116 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

overseers were not put in their place in the 
proper way, and did not direct others in the 
proper manner. 

Then there was another large party, who 
insisted that it was indispensable, that their fel- 
low servants should believe every thing that was 
written in the Book of Directions, exactly ac- 
cording as they understood them. They main- 
tained that if men did not believe right they 
never could work right. They were sure that 
they themselves did understand and believe the 
Book of Directions, just as the prince intended, 
and they spent a great deal of time in arguing 
and contending about what was to be believed. 
And they insisted, that before any man went to 
work in their part of the house he should de- 
clare what his belief was, and how he under- 
stood the meaning of the directions in the 
book. 

Now all these things no doubt were impor- 
tant. It certainly was needful to have the 
water hot, and it was desirable that it should 
be put on the floors in the way directed by the 
prince, and it was important that the proper 
overseers should direct the rest, and that they 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 117 

should do it in the proper way, and it was very 
important that the Book of Directions should 
be understood and believed, in the sense intend- 
ed by the young prince. 

But the difficulty was, that they became so 
much engrossed about the particular points 
where they differed, that they were in danger 
of forgetting the great thing about which they 
all agreed, viz. the cleaning of the house. And 
some of them got into such contentions about 
these matters, that instead of cleaning the house, 
they really made it more disorderly and un- 
clean. 

But there was a considerable number in all 
these parties, who looked at these things more 
wisely. And they managed matters in this 
way. They concluded, that as it was needful 
to have the water hot, they would not hinder 
those who were heating it, but get all the warm 
water they could from them, or from any one 
else, and go to cleaning the house with it. 
They concluded that as they could not all agree 
as to the proper way of putting on the water, 
that each should put it on in the way he be- 
lieved the prince had taught, and not quarrel 

11 



118 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

with the rest, who thought another way was 
right. They thought it was important to have 
the right overseers, and to have them direct 
the rest in a proper manner, but as they could 
not bring this about, they concluded to go to 
any place where they could do the most work, 
and put themselves under the overseer who was 
there, and do as well as they could. 

They also concluded, that though it was 
exceedingly important that all should under- 
stand and believe the directions written in the 
Book, yet as all did not agree in every thing, 
it was best to join together in the point where 
they all did agree, viz. in cleaning the house. 
And they comforted themselves in thinking of 
the promise of the young prince, " If any man 
will do his will he shall know of the doctrine.^' 
So they concluded that the best way to satisfy 
their own minds and to convince others of the 
proper way of doing the work was, to do it so 
diligently, so orderly, and so well, that others 
would be convinced " by seeing their good 
works," and so would follow their example. 

And it was these servants who really clean- 
ed the house, and, so far as they could do it^ 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 119 

liad every thing in readiness. And when their 
Lord and King arrived, they met him v^athout 
fear, while he blessed them with a benignant 
smile, and said unto them, " Well done, good 
and faithful servants, enter ye into the joy of 
your Lord." 

Now, my friends, this story illustrates what 
I wish to explain to you, about religion and re- 
ligious meetings. 

We are placed in this world to form a 
character like that of God, to become holy as 
he is holy, for this is the only way to be hap- 
py. Jesus Christ is " God manifest in the 
flesh," and " in him dwelleth all the fulness of 
the Godhead bodily," and one great object he 
had in coming into this world was, to show us 
what the character of God is, that we may 
know how to become like him. — And while 
here, he set us an example of the way in which 
we are to " cleanse our hearts" from all evil, 
so that he and his Father can come and make 
their abode with us. He did every thing which 
we shall be called to do, as a perfect example 
for us, and when he returned to his Father's 
court, he left a Book of Instructions for us all 



120 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

to use, that we may learn how to cleanse our 
hearts and lives from all sin. 

Now, we find that there are many parties 
among the servants of Christ, that differ a great 
deal about the best way of doing this great 
work. Some think it is very important to have 
a great many meetings, and to read and pray 
and sing a great deal, in order to keep our feel- 
ings warm, and this they think is more impor- 
tant than any thing else. 

Others think it is very important that we 
should be baptized in the proper manner, and 
at the proper time. Others think it very im- 
portant, that those who are rulers and over- 
seers in the church, should be ordained in the 
proper manner, and that they should direct 
their people aright, as to the forms and rites of 
the church. 

Others think it very important to believe in 
the right doctrines of religion, and that it is 
best to take great care, not to have any belong 
to their particular church, who do not believe 
the doctrines of the Bible as they do. 

But they all agree, that the great work to 
be done, after all, is to cleanse Me heart and life^ 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 121 

by following the example of our Lord Jesus 
Christ. — He taught us to live not for ourselves 
but for Him — and to make it (as he did) our 
meat and drink to do the will of our Father in 
heaven. He taught us to deny ourselves daily, 
by restraining all harmful passions and desires, 
and, as he did, to go about doing good, in the 
humblest sphere in which we may be placed. 
Now, there is no dispute at all about this great 
duty. And all agree, that the things they dif- 
fer about, are of no importance, except as they 
tend to promote a conformity of heart and life 
to the character and example of Christ. Those 
who spend the most time in religious exercises 
and meetings, consider that it is important to do 
so, only because it tends to make them more like 
Christ — and those who think so much of bap- 
tism, and ordination, and of believing the true 
doctrines, suppose that these things are impor- 
tant, only because they will lead us to become 
like Christ. There is not any minister of any 
denomination, who, if you ask him about these 
things, will not tell you, that I am right in all I 
have said about this matter. Now, if this is 
true, then we have a rule for judging how 

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122 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

much it is proper to go to meetings and to at- 
tend to religious exercises. 

We go to such meetings, and attend 
such exercises, to warm our feelings and excite 
our minds, in order that we may do all our du- 
ties better. There is no merit in reading and 
singing and hearing, nor is there any use in 
great enjoyment or great feeling, unless these 
things tend to make us more gentle, meek, 
humble, faithful and diligent in our duties to 
God and men. And if w^e are baptized in the 
right way, and have the right ministers, and the 
right services, and the right doctrines preached, 
it is all of no value to us, unless we improve 
them so as to become more and more like 
Christ. Remember, then, that your object in 
reading and praying and in going to meetings 
should be, that you may become more faithful, 
kind, obhging, industrious, and exemplary in 
all respects. 

I fear a great many people pray, and read 
the Bible, and go to meetings and try to get up 
a great deal of feeling, and think that this is 
being religious. But this is no more being re- 
ligious than heating water is cleaning a house. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 123 

It is only a course of naeans appointed by God 
to enable us to accomplish the great object of 
life 3 which is to form such a character as pre- 
pares us for Heaven ; or in other words, to he- 
come like Jesus Christ. 

I would advise you, therefore, when you are 
deciding whether you shall go to a meeting, 
and how long you shall stay, to inquire, Will 
this best prepare me to be patient, long-suffer- 
ing, meek, industrious and faithful in all my 
duties 1 

And if you think, that by going, you shall 
run the risk of injuring your health, and so of 
lessening your usefulness, or that you shall stay 
so late as to be tired and sleepy next morning, 
or unfitted in any way to perform your duties 
well, I pray you not to go. And if you think 
that religious privileges do not tend to make 
you more and more like Christ, I beseech you 
remember the dreadful condemnation of those 
who are exalted by privileges even to Heaven, 
only to be thrust down to Hell. 

Now I hope you will not misunderstand 
what I have said. I do not say that you or any 
body else go to meetings too much, or think 



1^4 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

too much of religious teachings, singing and 
prayer. I am afraid that most of us do not 
vahie these blessed means enough. But I am 
afraid that there are many of you who look 
upon these things as religion, when in reality 
they are nothing but the means God has ap- 
pointed, in order to lead us to become religious. 
A true Christian, a really converted person, is 
one who is making it the chief interest and 
aim of life to become like Christ, and all these 
religious means are of no use^ except so far as 
they tend to produce conformity of heart and 
life to the precepts and example of Christ. 

If this be the case, then persons who go to 
meetings to meet companions, or to while 
away time, or to get their feelings wrought up 
to a high state, and do not use their religious 
privileges as means to make them more humble, 
submissive, gentle, kind, industrious and faithful 
in every duty, are making their blessings a 
curse. 

And when you take time from your ordina- 
ry employments, or time from the hours usually 
given to sleep, I hope you will always ask your- 
selves this question : " Am I going to this meet- 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 125 

ing in order that I may conae home and be 
more and more like Jesus Christ ?" And if 
you do not find that this is your reason for go- 
ing, beware lest the awful condemnation that 
awaits those who abuse and pervert religious 
privileges, fall upon your guilty head. 

And here I would add, that no rule can be 
given as to how much we ought to attend reli- 
gious exercises. Some persons are reflective, 
and serious, and remember and feel what they 
hear a great while. Others are light, trifling 
and forgetful, and very soon lose any serious 
impressions. The first class do not need such 
frequent instructions and opportunities as the 
last class. And every person must judge for 
herself, how much time and attention is needful 
for her to give to religious duties, and not be 
censorious on others, who think it best for them 
to take another course. 



126 LETTERS TO PERSONS 



LETTER XL 

ON HEALTH. 

Importance of health to domestics. Modes by which 
they injure health. 

My Friends : 

Much of the ill health among persons in 
your employment is entirely needless. You 
have employments, usually, that tend to 
strengthen the constitution and maintain firm 
health, and as a class you have far more health 
and 'Strength than those who do not labour. 

Now, good health is the greatest of all 
blessings, for without it, no matter how many 
other blessings w^e have, we cannot enjoy 
life. Many and many a woman in this 
land, who has wealth, and ease, and education, 
and friends, and every thing that wealth can 
purchase, goes about gloomy and sick at heart, 
because disease has spread its dark shroud over 
all the enjoyments of life. 

But it is a far greater misfortune to persons 
in your situation to lose health, than to per- 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 127 

sons who have wealth and a comfortable 
home. 

When you are sick, you have no parents or 
family friends around you, to nurse and sym- 
pathize; you know that the family you live in 
have not only lost your services, but are obliged 
to wait upon you, and you feel that you are a 
burden. You may have no home to go to, or 
your home may be so comfortless that you had 
rather stay among strangers ; your wages stop, 
and if you have any little earnings laid up? 
they must go to pay for medicines and a physi- 
cian. 

All these things make it of the utmost con- 
sequence, that you take ^good care of your 
health. And yet, I am sorry to say, that I 
know of no class of persons who seem to be so 
careless and imprudent in regard to health. 
We see domestics go out from the wash-tub in 
a profuse perspiration, to stand in the wind and 
hang out wet clothes, and that too, without 
any thing on the head, or any shawl or cloak 
on. We see them go out in leaky shoes and 
wet their feet, and then sit a whole evening in 



128 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

company, or a meeting, with their feet wet and 
cold. 

We see them sleeping in close chambers, or 
sitting hour after hour in crowded rooms for 
religious worship, breathing an atmosphere that 
is absolutely poisonous, without knowing that 
they are thus injuring their health. And there 
are many other ways in which they are wearing 
down their constitutions, without being aware 
of it. 

I do not think I can possibly make you feel 
the importance of the advice I am about to 
offer, without your understanding more than 
you do, about the construction of your own 
bodies. And I wish I could get you to read a 
few chapters in a book I have written called 
" Domestic Economy," in which I have de- 
scribed how the interior of your bodies is form- 
ed, and drawn pictures to explain what I say, 
so that I think you could easily understand the 
matter. And if you ever come across that 
work, I hope you will read the Chapter on the 
Care of Health, and the five or six chapters that 
follow it. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 129 

But I will here tell you some things, which 
I think you can understand without any pic- 
tures. 

You know that we take food and drink 
into our stomach to support and continue life. 
Now this food is changed into a soft mass in 
the stomach, and then passes through long 
w^inding intestines, that are folded up below the 
stomach. As it passes through these intestines, 
there are multitudes of little hollow tubes, small 
as hairs, that pump out the nourishment and 
carry it to a particular blood-vessel, when it is 
emptied into the heart, and mixes with the 
blood. This is the way the blood is constantly 
renewed. Now it is the blood that thus conveys 
strength and nourishment to every part of the 
body. There is no part of the body, within or 
without, that has not a vast many small blood- 
vessels, running in every direction, that carry 
the blood to nourish all parts. But there are 
more blood-vessels in the skin than anywhere 
else, so that the quantity of blood in our skin is 
greater than all that is to be found, in all the 
rest of the body put together. All the matter 
received from our food which is nourishing and 

12 



130 LETTERS TO PERSOiNS 

useful, is taken up by the different parts of the 
body, and the rest is thrown out by the lungs, 
the bowels, the bladder and the skin. When 
we draw air into our lungs, the noxious and 
useless portions of the blood in the lungs, com- 
bine w^ith it, and are then sent out of our lungs. 
The bowels and bladder also, eject a portion of 
useless matter from the body. But the chief 
labour of relieving the body from useless matter 
in the blood, is done by the skin. 

If you could look at the skin through a 
microscope, you w^ould see the little mouths of 
the blood-vessels all over the skin, which are 
constantly pouring out this useless matter from 
the blood. If, in a w^arm day, you bring a cool 
mirror near your skin, yet not so as to touch it, 
you wdll see a thin dew, or vapour, settle on the 
mirror. This is the invisible exhalation, which 
is constantly coming out from the mouths of the 
small blood-vessels, all over the skin. Experi- 
ments have often been made, to find out how 
much matter is thus thrown out of the body by 
the skin, and it is found that in a grown per- 
son, it is never less than a pound and a quarter 
in twenty-four hours, and most men that have 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 131 

experimented say that it is much more. But all 
agree, that the skin throws out more of the use- 
less and noxious matter from the body, than the 
luno;s, bladder and bowels all together. 

You can now understand the evil done by 
sitting with wet feet, or going into cold and 
damp air without proper covering. Cold al- 
ways operates to make the skin shrink up, and 
the little mouths of the blood-vessels are thus 
closed, so that the skin cannot perform its office 
properly. In consequence of this, the blood is 
not relieved of its noxious matter. The effect 
of this, is sometimes one thing, and sometimes 
another. Sometimes, stopping the action of 
the skin produces a fever, and then the body 
is tormented with restlessness, pain and heat. 
Sometimes, when the skin stops its labours, the 
other organs.try to do double duty, to relieve the 
body. In this case, either the bowels or blad- 
der become affected and discharge profusely, 
or the lungs accumulate a great quantity of this 
useless matter, which is coughed up in the form 
of phlegm. Sometimes the head and throat 
are affected, and water runs from the eyes and 
nose, while the lungs also cough up phlegm. 



132 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

What is commorily called a cold in the 
head, or a cold on the lungs, is caused by 
the shutting up of the blood-vessels of the skin 
by cold, so that the lungs, eyes, and head are 
obliged to perform a part of the offices that 
the skin ordinarily performs. 

Now when a person is labouring by a fire, 
or at washing or ironing, the blood is made to 
circulate much faster, and the noxious matter 
is thrown out more abundantly. At such times 
the matter thrown out by the skin becomes 
visible in the form of drops of sweat. Of 
course the more of this matter is to be thrown 
out by the skin, the more dangerous it is to 
have the openings of the skin shrunk up by 
cold. Therefore, it is very important for per- 
sons who labour, to take very great care not to 
allow themselves to be chilled when in a state 
of perspiration. Wetting the feet often pro- 
duces the sam€ effect on the body, as chilling 
the skin in a perspiration. You understand 
now, why it is that I earnestly entreat you, 
never to go out and stand in the cold, when you 
are in a perspiration, and always to be careful to 
dress warm whenever you go out doors for any 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE, 133 

purpose, and never to sit with damp feet. One 
single act of carelessness in these respects, may- 
bring on a fever, or a bowel complaint, or an 
affection of the lungs, or liver, or eyes, or head, 
that may lay you up for months, or even end 
your life. What I have told you about the 
construction of the skin, shows the importance 
of another piece of advice I would give you. 
Do you know, that we are almost the only 
well-informed nation in the world, that do not 
frequently wash the body all over 1 There were 
some nations in old times, that knew that this 
was so important to health and comfort, that 
they always had public baths made, so that rich 
and poor might bathe every day without ex- 
pense. And in many countries, the best in- 
formed people would not think of going two 
days without washing the whole of their bodies, 
any more than you would think of going so 
long, without washing your face and hands. 
And the reason of this is, that the skin is inter- 
rupted in its duties by any accumulation of 
matter upon it. The little mouths of the blood- 
vessels must be kept open and i^!^^, or they 
cannot fully perform their offices. Now, as the 

12* 



134 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

skin throws out at least a pound and a half a 
day, of this useless and noxious matter, where 
the clothing comes tight to the skin, it cannot 
all pass off freely, and a part is deposited on 
the skin. This ought to be washed off every 
day, or else the skin has its pores to some ex- 
tent filled up, and its duties are impeded. In 
consequence of this, humours on the skin, or in 
the eyes, or some affection of the head, or 
lungs, or liver, or bowels, or some other part of 
the body, often ensue. Some people have 
such strong constitutions, that they can bear to 
go all their lives, and never ^wash their bodies 
properly, and yet never seem to experience 
any injury, but there is no doubt that many are 
suffering painful and troublesome affections, 
that never would have come upon them, if 
they had taken proper care of their skin. For 
this reason I advise you to keep a bowl and 
pitcher of water in your room, and to sponge 
your body all over when you go to bed, either in 
lukewarm or cold water. It will not take you 
more than ten minutes, and it may save you 
from much trouble. 

I have told you, that the lungs also are em- 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 135 

ployed to help purify the blood. It is done in 
this way. The air we breathe is made so, that 
w^hen it comes into the lungs, it combines with 
the noxious portions of the blood in the lungs, 
and then is returned again, when we breathe 
out the air. If, therefore, a person is shut up in 
a small, close room for a long time, the air of 
the room, after a while, is filled with this inju- 
rious matter which is sent out of the lungs. In 
this state it is unfit to breathe. Breathing itsome- 
times produces drowsiness, weakness, stupidity 
of feelings, and sometimes sickness at the stom- 
ach, or fainting. Indeed, there is no suffering 
so horrible as that produced by breathing air 
which is entirely made of air breathed from the 
lungs. To illustrate this, I will mention a case 
of some gentlemen, who were once shut up by 
a cruel tyrant in a very small room, with a very 
little window in it. There were so many that 
they had not room to lie down or even sit, and 
in a few hours, so many breaths had filled the 
room entirely, with this noxious vapor. The 
distress thus produced was horrible. They 
groaned and screamed for mercy to the guard of 
soldiers. They begged them to shoot them and 



136 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

put and end to their torments. At length they 
began to fight, to get at the only opening there 
was for air, and struggled and fous;ht for breath, 
and tried to strangle each other, till all were dead 
except the few, who could get their faces near 
the window ; and these in the morning had not 
strength to stand, and looked more like corpses 
than like living men. 

There is nothing, then, more pernicious to 
health, than sitting, or sleeping in rooms where 
the air is loaded with the air breathed out of 
the lungs. For this reason, I advise you never 
to go to bed, till you have secured a good sup- 
ply of pure air. Open your door into an entry, 
or make a crack in your window, or contrive 
some other way to keep pure air in your room. 
If you have an open fire-place, this is sufficient? 
as then, the fresh air falls down the chimney 
from out doors. But if you have a close stove 
in your room, or have a room with no fire- 
place, be sure always to have your door open, 
or a small opening in your window. If you do 
not take this precaution, though you may not 
feel the evil, because it is so slow and gradual, 
you may be sure that your constitution is grad- 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 137 

Tially growing weaker, so that diseases will 
more easily be induced, and thus that your life 
will be shortened. One other thing about the 
lungs. Any person who wears clothing so 
tight, that they cannot expand the chest as 
easily as they can when undressed, is doing 
the same sort of mischief. When the waist is 
constrained by tight clothing, some parts of the 
lungs are so impeded and compressed, that the 
air cannot enter the air vessels. The conse- 
quence is, the blood is not properly purified, 
and often, from this cause, ulcers form in the 
lungs. Tight dressing is one of the most 
frequent causes of consumption and dys- 
pepsia, for dyspepsia is often brought on by 
such tightness of dress, that the stomach and 
the other organs around it, are impeded in their 
duties. 

It is very important for health, that persons 
who labour should have enough sleep, and it is 
also important that they do not sleep too much. 
If they do not sleep enough, the strength and 
health slowly decay, and if they sleep too 
much, the same effect is produced. Seven or 
eight hours, is the amount of sleep that is need- 



138 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

ed by persons who labour, and none ought to 
sleep more than eight hours, unless they are 
sick. 

If you will take care of your teeth, by wash- 
/ ing them with fair water and a brush, when 
you go to bed and get up, you probably will 
save yourselves from teeth-ache, and from the 
early loss of teeth. Not that this care will 
always prevent these evils. A disordered 
stomach, or a weakness of the nerves, will often 
induce pain and decay, for which there is no 
prevention, or remedy. But your chances of 
keeping your teeth, and of escaping tooth-ache, 
are much increased by removing with a brush, 
every night and morning, the tartar which the 
spittle deposits on the teeth and gums, during 
the night and through the day. This tartar 
injures the gums, and tends to make the teeth 
decay. 

There are some other causes of ill health 
that I will point out. One is, drinking strong 
tea or coffee. These drinks always stimulate 
the nervous system, in a way similar to the 
effects of intoxicating drinks, and though they 
are not so injurious or dangerous, yet, in many 



ENGAGED IN DO?^ESTIC SERVICE. 139 

cases, they produce weak nerves, indigestion, 
teeth-ache, head-ache, and various nervous 
complaints. If, then, you use these drinks, I 
advise you to use them very weak. In my 
youth I did not love them, but after I was 
twenty, I learned to love them quite strong, and 
did not love them weak. When I was con- 
vinced that they were injurious, I began to 
drink them very weak; and though at first 
they seemed very flat, I persevered, until I 
learned to love them weak, and now I do not 
love them strong. I mention this to show that 
our taste can be changed. I advise you there- 
fore to try the experiment, and after you have 
drank them a month or two very weak, I think 
you will love them as well as you now love 
tliem strong. At any rate, you will escape the 
dansjers that always attend the use of tea and 
coffee, as most persons drink them. And I 
believe that it is sinful to run any risk of injur- 
ing one's health, for the sake of drinking what 
we love best, when another drink is just as 
good for us, and is far more safe. 

In regard to eating, I believe a person in 
health, who labours all day, may eat almost any 



140 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

thing with safety. But a person in delicate 
health, or with a disordered stomach, ought to be 
careful to notice what food produces uncom- 
fortable feelings, and avoid it. For nothing 
wears down health faster, than to eat food 
that the stomach cannot digest, and when this 
occurs a, warning is often given by unpleas- 
ant feelings after eating. 

Eating too often, is a frequent cause of dis- 
ease. This is done, because people do not know 
how hard the stomach has to work, after food 
is put into it. But if we could look within us 
at all that is going on, we should see, that 
as soon as any food is put into the stomach, its 
muscles are all set to work to move the food 
about and mix it with the gastric juice which is 
to dissolve it, so that the stomach actually is 
working as hard as the arms would work, in 
sweeping or in hammering at the anvil. Now 
the stomach needs to rest awhile, after its work, 
and therefore, four or five hours ought to elapse 
after eating, before any more food is put into the 
stomach. This gives time for the stomach to 
do up its work, and have a little time to rest. 
But a person, who is frequently putting food 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE.- 141 

into the stomach, keeps it at work all the time, 
and thus it becomes weak and disordered from 
over-working. For this reason, I advise you 
not to eat except at your regular meals. 

If you have weak eyes, always shade them 
from the glare of the fire or candles in the 
evening, and never use them before breakfast 
either to read or sew. The eyes are weaker 
before breakfast than at any other time. The 
reason is, that they have been long shut up, so 
as to be unused to the light, and sleep always 
weakens the body to a certain extent, until a 
new supply of food gives the blood the nourish- 
ment it has lost, by the exhalations of the body 
during the night. 

Taking food or drink very warm, is injuri- 
ous to the teeth and stomach. If you should 
hold one of your fingers in hot water, half an 
hour, three times a day, you would find that it 
was very much weakened. The same effect is 
produced on the nerves of the mouth, teeth, 
and stomach, by the use of hot food and drinks. 
Pepper, mustard, and spices also tend to injure 
the health of the stomach, by stimulating it too 
much. 

13 



142 LETTERS TO PERSONS 



LETTER XIL 

ON DRESS, MANNERS, AND LANGUAGE. 

Dress should be conformed to means and to occupations. 
Rules of good manners. 

My Friends : 

I have shown you, in a former letter, that 
the chief reason why so much difference is made, 
between domestics and other members of the 
family, is their deficiencies in education, dress 
and manners. If domestics were universally 
well educated and well bred, and if they paid 
a proper attention to their dress and persons, 
then parents would feel that their example 
would be useful instead of injurious to children, 
while their presence would be agreeable and 
not offensive to visitors. 

It is therefore very desirable, on your own 
account, and that you may raise the respectabili- 
ty of your station, (as well as on account of pa- 
rents and children,) that you pay great atten- 
tion to these particulars. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 143 

I will therefore point out some of those res- 
pects, in which you need to attend to your man- 
ners, in order to be a good example to children, 
and to be fitted to appear well in any society in 
which in after life you may appear. 

Good maimers are the outward expression 
oy kindness and good will, by which we endea- 
vour to promote the enjoyment of others, and to 
avoid all that gives needless pain. Good man- 
ners lead us to avoid every thing that offends 
the taste of others, and to regard all the rules 
of politeness and propriety. Good manners lead 
us to avoid all rude and coarse language or ac- 
tions, and to refrain from all remarks that 
would trouble those about us in any way. 

I will now point out some particulars. In 
the first place, there are rules of good manners 
in regard to our superiors in age, character, sta- 
tion or office, which demand attention. In ad- 
dressing such, it is proper to speak in a respect- 
ful tone and manner, and to add " sir" and 
" ma'am" to " yes" and " no" when we reply 
to them. This should be done by young per- 
sons to older ones, by children to parents, by 
scholars to teachers, and by domestics to their 



144 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

employers, and to visitors in the family. At 
the same time, it is proper to offer the best ac- 
commodations of all kinds to one who is thus 
to be treated as a superior. 

Another rule of good manners is, to return 
thanks to any person who does us any kindness. 
It is deemed very ill bred to receive a present, 
or any little act of attention, w^ithout any man- 
ifestation of pleasure or gratitude. 

Another rule is, never to use what belongs 
to another without asking leave, and never to 
ask questions about the business or dress, or 
concerns of other people, unless we are on in- 
timate terms with them. Another rule of 
good breeding is, never to make remarks to 
others on their personal defects, or dress, or 
faults, and never to speak in such a way of 
their opinions, or their friends, as to vex or 
mortify them. 

Always, when persons speak to you, look 
them in the face, and reply in a courteous man- 
ner. Never laugh or whisper in company 
so that others cannot hear, lest they may 
imagine that you are ridiculing them, or 
speaking against them. Loud laughing and 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 145 

talking in company, and whispering, and smil- 
ing at church, are deemed rude and vulgar. 
Interrupting a person when talking, and flatly 
contradicting, are considered rude. 

There are some personal tricks which should 
be avoided, as vulgar and offensive, such as 
fingering the hair, picking the teeth, or clean- 
ing the nails, picking the nose, spitting on the 
floor, snuffing, instead of using the handker- 
chief, or using the handkerchief in a disgusting 
manner, fingering the shoes, throwing about the 
feet, lolling on chairs, tipping chairs back- 
ward, staring at people, calling persons by 
nicknames, running out bareheaded into the 
street, calling to persons in the street, running 
in the street, and eating in the street, or in a 
public assembly. 

Another branch of p*ood breeding; relates to 
table manners. When at table, avoid all these 
things : reaching over the plates of others ; 
standing up to reach articles ; instead of asking 
to have them passed to you ; using your own 
knife for butter or salt, when it is the custom 
of the family to use a butter knife and salt 
spoon ; setting dripping cups on the table cloth 

13* 



146 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

when cup mats, or plates, are provided ; using 
the table cloth instead of your handkerchief; 
eating fast, and in a noisy manner ; putting 
large pieces in the mouth ; looking, and eating 
as if you were very hungry, or very anxious to 
get at certain dishes ; sitting too far from the ta- 
ble, or too near to it ; projecting your elbows 
when using the knife and fork ; dropping food 
in your lap ; laying the knife and fork on the 
table cloth, instead of on the bread, or your 
plate ; putting your own knife or fork into the 
dishes, instead of asking to be helped ', taking 
too large a share of some favourite article ; 
making a noise in sipping tea, or eating soups ; 
leaning on the table with your elbows ; lolling 
back in your chair at table, and taking food 
with your own fork from the dishes, instead of 
asking to be helped. 

In regard to dress, the great rule of propriety 
and good taste is, always to dress clean and tidy, 
and always to have your dress suited to your 
means, and your employment. 

This is the rule that regulates persons of 
good sense and good taste, in all classes and 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 147 

ranks. If a woman wears ever so ele2:ant and 
expensive clothing, and yet her hair is in dis- 
order and her dress untidy, every one feels that 
she is dressed in bad taste. If a woman has a 
small income, and yet appears in dresses and 
ornaments that are suitable only for persons of 
great wealth, every one pities or laughs at her 
for her want of taste and propriety. 

If a woman puts on expensive and hand- 
some dresses to work in, no matter how rich 
she is, every one feels that it looks vulgar and 
improper. There is nothing that more surely 
marks the well bred, well educated woman, 
than the style of her dress. If she has small 
means she will dress simply and economically, 
if she is very wealthy, she will wear rich and 
handsome clothing, but not tawdry finery or 
loads of ornaments. If she is doing work that 
soils clothing, she puts on dark and cheap ar- 
ticles, if she is going on a journey, she puts on 
a dress that dust will not injure, and leaves off 
all her ornaments. If she is ffoino; out in the 
cold and wet, she puts on stout and warm cov- 
ering for her feet and person 

Now there is no point where domestics so 



148 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

often show their want of good education and 
good taste, as in the choice of their dress. 
Every one knows that the income of a domestic 
is very small, and that they are daily employed 
in work that soils a dress. When, therefore, 
domestics appear in dresses suitable only for 
persons who have wealth, and employments 
that do not soil dresses, every one feels, that for 
want of a good education, they are deficient in 
good taste and a sense of propriety. The same 
opinion is formed of all persons who have small 
means, and who labour for a support, when 
they rig out in showy and expensive dresses. 

A domestic who has good sense and good 
taste, will always dress neatly, plainly, and in 
materials suitable to the work she performs. 

There are few things more annoying to vis- 
itors, or to the master and mistress of a family, 
than to have food served at table, by domestics 
whose hands, hair, and dress are untidy. I have 
repeatedly known the gentleman of the house 
whisper to his wife to send the person waiting 
on table out of the room, because he had rather 
wait on himself, than to have such a disgusting 
object before his eyes. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 149 

I would therefore earnestly recommend, that 
always before you come down in the morning, 
you put your hair in neat order, and that you 
so braid or tie it up, that it will not get out of 
order while you are at work. i\.lso, that you 
take pains to have dark clothing for your work 
and that it always be kept neat and tidy. It is a 
good plan, also, to keep a supply of large, clean 
aprons, to slip on when you cannot change 
your dress, and yet wish to go into the parlour. 

And I pray you not to spend all your earn- 
ings in showy dresses, that, to all sensible peo- 
ple, make you appear foolish and ignorant of 
all propriety. It is far better to buy strong, 
and plain dresses, and lay up your earnings to 
buy furniture, if you ever become a house- 
keeper, or to support you in sickness, or old 
age, if you never marry. There are Savings 
Banks in almost all our cities, where you can 
lay up small earnings, and receive interest for 
them, so as to increase their value every year ; 
and there is less risk in putting money into these 
banks, than in any other way, because their 
business is arranged for the purpose of making 
them safe. 



150 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

There is another point, to which I would 
especially urge attention, and that^is, to the im- 
provement of your mind by reading, and when 
you can do so, by study. 

The greatest disadvantages domestics have 
to meet, are caused by their want of a good 
education. It is owing to the want of such ad- 
vantages, that they are so apt to be untidy in 
appearance, rude and disrespectful in manner, 
and vulgar in their pronunciation and language. 
Now, though you maybe in such a situation that 
you cannot go to a school, yet if you will be 
diligent and economical in time and dress, you 
can do a great deal to improve your education. 
There are few families where there is not 
some lady, who would be wilhng to hear you 
read, or recite a lesson for half an hour every 
day, if you expressed a wish so to do. And 
you would also be provided with books to read 
and study, at little or no expense, if you ap- 
peared to be anxious to learn, and were faith- 
ful and diligent, in order to gain time. 

And the more you read and study, the more 
your character, manners, and habits will be 
likely to improve. Some persons imagine that 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 151 

a good education injures persons in your station, 
by making them proud and discontented. But 
this is a great mistake. The most faithful, 
diligent, agreeable, and respectable domestics 
I ever saw, were those who had the best edu- 
cation, while those who are ignorant, have not 
sense and information enough, to see the pro- 
priety of conforming to their situation and 
duties. 

If this country were thrown into the 
situation in which the shipwrecked company 
were, and every one had to draw lots to de- 
cide who should be employers and who do- 
mestics, there would be some well educated 
and some very ignorant persons put together 
in the class of domestics. In this case I should 
much prefer to hire a well educated person, for 
I should expect that such a one would be far 
more likely to have respectful and courteous 
manners, and that she would conform to the 
duties of her lot with far more propriety than 
an ignorant and vulgar person. 

I hope, therefore, that you will improve 
every opportunity you can gain to read and 
study, and I would advise you also to notice 



162 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

how well educated persons pronounce, and try 
to acquire a similar way of speaking. 

In selecting books to read, get some 
judicious friend to choose for you, and in study- 
ing, never be so foolish as to study French, or 
Latin, or try to play the piano, or any such ac- 
complishment, which is suitable only for per- 
sons who have wealth and leisure. 

By following this advice about your man- 
ners, dress and language, and by faithfully en- 
deavouring to perform all your duties to God and 
your fellow creatures, you will find, that every 
day, you will gain in the esteem and good will 
of all around you, and that few will be found 
with that silly pride which will make them 
shun your society because you are a domestic. 
On the contrary, your employers and their 
children, will love and respect you, and be 
pleased to procure for you all the comforts and 
advantages they can secure, consistently with 
the convenience and prosperity of the family. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 153 



LETTER XIII. 

Trials of domestics and remedy for these trials. Fault- 
finding, Want of comforts and conveniences, &c. 
My Friends : 

Every situation in life has its peculiar trials, 
^and it is wise beforehand, to understand what 
our trials must be, and what is the best way of 
meeting them. God did not put us into this 
world to find enjoyment by gratifying all our 
desires, but he intended that we should form 
such a character, as will enable us iofeel hapjpy 
in giving up our will and wishes to him and to 
others, whenever it is needful. 

Those, therefore, are not the most fortunate, 
who have the fewest trials to meet, but those 
rather, who best learn to be patient and 
cheerful, whatever may be their lot, or the 
trials which it involves. Many are apt to sup* 
pose, that when people have beautiful houses, 
and fine clothes, and a plenty of money, and 
opportunities to read, and visit, and see the 

14 



154 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

world, that they must be happy. But the most 
miserable persons I have known, were persons 
who had all these things ; while some of the 
happiest persons I ever saw, were those whom 
the world call poor, and who had none of these 
advantages. 

The rich have as many wishes and wants 
ungratified as the poor, for the more they get 
the more they want. At the same time, as they 
often have nothing to do but to amuse and gratify 
themselves, they are not so likely to form those 
habits of self-denial, patience, and benevolence, 
which are the true source of enjoyment. This 
is the reason why the Saviour says, " How 
hardly shall they that have riches, enter the 
kingdom of Heaven." The kingdom of Heav- 
en consists, not in meat and drink and costly 
raiment, nor in any earthly goods, but in 
" righteousness and peace.'' And this righteous- 
ness and peace are much more easily found 
in humble life, than among the rich, the 
proud and the gay. It is true that it is a bless- 
ing to be rich, if we only use riches in the 
proper way. But riches bring such temptations, 
that few have strength and wisdom sufficient 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 155 

to stand, so that it is often that riches are a 
curse rather than a blessing. 

Why is it so common to see the children of 
rich parents growing poor and vicious, while 
the children of the poor grow up industrious, vir- 
tuous and rich 1 It is because the children of the 
rich are brought up in ease and indulgence, 
while the children of the poor are brought up 
to industry and self-denial. If any person will 
count up the rich men in our country, he will 
find, that not one in ten had rich parents. And 
then if he will look at the descendants of rich 
families he will find, that probably more than 
half are very poor, and a great: many are mis- 
erable vagabonds in society. 

I mention these things to lead you to real- 
ize, that your happiness in this life consists not 
in being rich, or well dressed, or in any out- 
ward advantage, but rather in such a character 
as enables you to meet the duties and trials of 
your lot with patient cheerfulness, and faithful 
diligence. 

I will now mention some of the trials which 
domestics are most frequently called to endure, 
and point out the proper way of meeting them- 



156 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

One of the greatest and most frequent trials 
of domestics is, ihe fault-finding to which they 
are constantly exposed. Now, W'hether a per- 
son deserves to be blamed or not, this is a great 
trial to the patience. If we are to blame, w^e 
not only are pained to see the mischief we 
have done, but w^e are pained to be reproached 
by others, and at the same time to feel that it 
is indeed our own fault, and that we deserve 
it. If we are not to blame, it seems very hard 
to be upbraided, but in many cases this is not 
half so hard to bear, as to be blamed when we 
know w^e deserve it. 

Now there are two dangers to which w^e 
are exposed from this cause. If we live w^ith 
a person who finds fault a great deal, the first 
danger is, that we shall grow sullen, or irrita- 
ble, and then show a bad temper, by disrespect- 
ful and angry words and deportment. The 
other danger is, that we shall become so used 
to it as not to care any thing about it. I have 
seen the children and domestics of w^omen who 
find fault a great deal, look and act as if they 
did not care one cent about what was said to 
them, and sometimes they look as if they were 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 157, 

more amused than pained at the anger and im- 
patience displayed by those who rule over 
them. 

Now, it is our duty, if we really have by 
forgetfulness, or ignorance, neglected or illy 
performed our duty, not only to be sorry, but 
to show those whom we have thus troubled, 
that we feel sorry. Nothing so soon ends such 
troubles, as for the person who has done wrong to 
appear as if she was really sorry for it. When- 
ever therefore you have your mistakes or faults 
pointed out, do not seek to justify yourself, and 
do not, if possible, show any anger. If you 
feel irritated, do not speak till you can speak 
without anger, and then say, " I am sorry," 
or something else of the kind, that shows 
regret on your part for the trouble you have 
caused. After you have said this, then is the 
proper time to tell your excuses. If you begin 
to justify or excuse before you have expressed 
any regret, in nine cases out of ten, it does 
more harm than good. Another thing will 
very much aid you in bearing this evil, and that 
is, trying to imagine yourself in the situation 
of the one you have displeased, and thinking 
14* 



158 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

whether you should do any differently yourself. 
How do you behave when you depend on some 
child or companion to do something, and by 
isfnorance or carelessness the thino- is left 
undone or is spoilt? Do you shut up your 
mouth and utter^ not a word of complaint, or 
fault-finding ?"] Try for one week to go with- 
out finding fault with any body, or any thing 
that crosses your plans or wishes, and see how 
hard it is to refrain ! 

Now a housekeeper is constantly having 
things done wrong, or not done at all, which 
she feels anxious to have accomplished proper- 
ly, and it is one of the most difficult duties in 
the world to bear silently and patiently all 
these vexations and disappointments. You 
should therefore try to feel kindly for these 
troubles of your employer, and when you see 
her patience fails, think how many cares and 
perplexities she meets, and how difficult you 
would find it, if you were in her place, to bear 
them patiently. 

There is another thing you must consider, and 
that is, that many women think it is their duty 
always to tell the persons whom they employ 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 159 

whenever they do wrong, and they do not 
suppose that it is wrong to show anger and 
impatience at such trials. At least, they talk 
as if it was right for them to manifest anger 
and impatience, if there is just cause for dis- 
pleasure. 

Very few persons are aware how much 
better it is not to speak at all, when they are 
angry, and how much more good it does to 
talk with children and domestics about their 
faults or mistakes, in a kind way, when neither 
side feels out of humour. There are a great 
many women who would be more considerate 
and careful in this matter, if they only supposed 
it was their duty so to do. And here you 
should inquire of yourselves too, " Do I feel it 
to be a duty not to complain, or find fault 
when I feel angry ? Can 1 command my tem- 
per and tongue so as not to reply in angry and 
disrespectful tones when others blame me? 
Do I set a guard on my lips, that I sin not with 
my tongue ? Do I every day pray to God to 
enable me to be patient at the faults of others, 
and meek in receiving rebuke for my own 1 
Do I, when I have sinned by angry tones and 



160 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

language, confess my sin to Christ, and ask for 
iiis sirangth to enable me to follow his exam- 
ple of meekness and patience ?" Let any of us 
try ourselves with these questions, and we shall 
be much more meek and patient, when hearing 
the complaints or upbraidings of those w^hom 
we have troubled. 

There is another method, whicti, in many 
cases, will be of great service. Many amiable 
and excellent women, really do not know how 
much they do find fault, nor how severe and 
unpleasant are their tones and manner. If, 
therefore, you find yourself very much tried 
in this way, seek some opportunity of convers- 
ing with your employer, when both feel kindly 
to each other. And then, in a respectful man- 
ner tell her, that if she will not find fault quite 
so often, or will tell your faults to you, at times 
when neither you or she feel disturbed in mind, 
that it will be a great deal pleasanter to you to 
serve her, and that you shall be much more likely 
to try to do your duties well. Such a measure 
as this, will be far better than to speak out 
your mind at times when she is reproving you, 
when both feel angry or impatient. I think a 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 161 

time will come, when both parents and em- 
ployers will feel it to be a duty to refrain from 
finding fault when they are angry, and make 
it an object to wait, until by calm reflection 
they can say the most judicious things in the 
most judicious manner. And if you wish to 
have this period arrive, remember you can do 
something towards hastening it, by trying to 
form such a habit yourself. And then, if you 
ever become the employer of a domestic, you 
will be prepared for this most important part 
of your duty. 

Another trial, to which domestics are ex- 
posed, is a neglect of their comfort and con- 
venience by their employers. 

Sometimes domestics have not comfortable 
rooms and beds ; sometimes, the proper con- 
veniences for work are not provided ; sometimes 
they have so much required that they have not 
time for rest, and for taking care of their clothes; 
sometimes they are obliged to leave their meals 
before they have done, to wait on the family ; 
sometimes the children of the family vex and 
incommode them ; sometimes they are treated 
harshly and rudely ; sometimes the mistress of 



162 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

the family does not know how to plan work, 
and more is exacted than they can perform, or 
needless trouble and work are caused. Now 
there are two ways of preventing these evils, to 
a certain extent. One is, by making proper 
terms with an employer beforehand. It is a 
good plan for a domestic, always to inquire of 
an employer, before she agrees to come, res- 
pecting all these matters. It is always proper, 
to inquire about the conveniences in the kitchen, 
and to ask how much time you probably can 
have to do your own sewing, and whether you 
shall be allowed to sit undisturbed at your meals, 
and whether you shall be allowed to send the 
children out of the kitchen when they trouble 
you, and finally, to find out as much as you can 
beforehand, as to the kind of work that will be 
expected. Let these things all be talked over 
and understood beforehand, and many occasions 
for hard feeling and discontent will be saved 
on both sides. 

After you come into a family, you will, in 
most cases, find some inconveniences and an- 
noyances that you did not expect. In such 
eases, do not be angry or out of patience, but 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 163 

bear them quietly, till you have a good chance 
to talk with your employer about them. Then 
simply state the trouble you experience, and if 
it can be remedied consistently, she probably 
will do it, and if it cannot, then make up your 
mind to bear it patiently and good humouredly, 
I have seen domestics go on, day after day, 
complaining and fretting about troubles, that of- 
ten would be entirely removed, if they would go, 
in a pleasant and respectful way, to their em- 
ployers and state their wishes. It is always 
best to take it for granted, that your employers 
are kind and reasonable people, for if they are 
not, it is the surest way to lead them to become 
so. 

A keeper of a prison once asked a man 
who had been removed from his care to another 
prison, what the reason was that he behaved so 
much better with his new keeper. His reply 
was, " He treats me like a man, and so I behave 
like a man ; but you treated me like a dog, and 
so I behaved like a dog." 

Now this prisoner was a fair picture of us 
all in this respect. If people treat us as if they 
think that we wish and intend to do all that 



164 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

is generous and right, it is a strong influence to 
lead us to do so. But if we are treated as if 
it was expected that we should act unreasona- 
bly and wrong, it is a strong temptation to lead 
us to do so. And this anecdote contains a very 
important truth, that it would be wise for do- 
mestics, as well as employers, to bear in mind. 
There is another trial that domestics often 
feel, which I have before alluded to. It is the 
fact that they are called " servants," and are 
liable to be treated with disrespect or con- 
tempt, by persons who fancy themselves a little 
above them in rank. But my friends, this is a 
trouble which all classes have to experience, 
and some almost or quite as much as you. The 
mechanic's daughter, or the sempstress, may 
call you servants, and feel above you, but some 
rich men's daughters call them " only me- 
chanics' daughters," or " only sempstresses," and 
feel as much above them. And these rich men's 
daughters find persons who will call them " vul- 
gar rich f oiks, ^^ and feel very much above them^ 
because they themselves have some advantages 
of family or education, that those they look 
down upon do not possess. We find that it is 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 165 

common to call persons who have wealth and 
education, " ladies," and persons who have no 
education, and labour for a support, " women.^' 
And if a person who considered herself among 
the first, should hear a person say, " there is a 
woman in the parlour," instead of saying, 
" there is a lady in the parlour," she would in 
some cases feel offended. What is the reason 
of this ? She is a woman, why is she not 
pleased to be called so ? Why simply because 
persons whom she regards as below herself are 
so called. Now this is exactly the case with 
you. You do not like to be called by the same 
name as is given to slaves in this land, and to the 
degraded servants of other countries. And it 
is probable every body would have something 
of this feeling, and therefore every well-bred 
person, who knew, that this name of servant 
was disagreeable to you, would not use it, un- 
less from long habit it was difficult to remem- 
ber to call you by another name. But you 
must not allow yourselves to be offended be- 
cause people do not always know your feelings 
on this point, or do not always remember to 
regard your wishes. 

15 



166 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

Try to be polite yourselves to the poor 
Africans whom yon regard as below you, and 
then you will find that you sometimes fail in 
this duty yoursekes, and will learn not to 
judge so severely of those who fail towards you. 
True politeness and good breeding will lead 
every body to avoid whatever needlessly 
troubles others, however humble in life. 

On this point I have felt some perplexity 
myself. Probably if I were in your place, 1 
might not wish to be cal!ed a servant, ]u?>\ as 
many persons I associate with, choose to be 
called " ladies" instead of " women." 

As we must have some name to give to 
persons in your station, I have inquired what 
one is suitable. Now I cannot tell what would 
be agreeable to you all. But I know what I 
should like myself. The word domus signifies 
home, which is one of the dearest and pleasant- 
est words in the world. 

The word " domestic," is made from this 
word dom.us, and it signifies, one employed in 
doing the work at home, and therefore it has a 
very pleasant idea connected with it. I can- 
not find any word in the dictionary to use for 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 167 

this purpose, that T should hke so much myself, 
and therefore I have used the word in writing 
to you. But if there was any other that I 
thought you would like better,! certainly would 
use it. 

But remember, my friends, that Jesus Christ, 
the Lord of Glory, " took upon him the form of 
a servant,'^ and he it was that washed his dis- 
ciples' feet, to show them that they must not 
feel above doinor the humblest of all duties. 
And the word " minister" means the same as 
" servant," and this was the name taken by the 
Apostles of Christ. 

=, And we shall never be fully prepared for 
Heaven, till we have that humble spirit, which 
can be contented to see others raised above us, 
and to take whatever name and place belongs to 
us. The Bible teaches, that even in Heaven, 
there are different grades of intellect and great- 
ness, and this is the time of probation, when we 
are to learn that submissive and humble spirit, 
which will prepare us to go to a world, where 
forever, there must be many far above us in 
knowledge, honour and power. Do not there- 
fore indulge such feelings of pride about the 



168 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

name, and duties of your station, but honour 
yourselves by walking in the footsteps of Jesus 
Christ. 

In regard to all the trials that are to be met 
in your situation in life, it is wisest to look at 
the n:iatter in this light. There is no situation 
where you can go, in which you will not find 
some disagreeable things to try your patience, 
and tempt you to complain and be discontented. 
Therefore, it is best to make up your mind, that 
you will first do all you can to remedy what 
troubles you meet, and after that, determine to 
be quiet and content with your lot. 

It is very unwise to be roving from one 
family to another. It is very much for your 
interest to stay in one place and become inter- 
ested in the family, and to make them all feel that 
you are a steady, and tried, and faithful friend. 
I know many domestics, who have become so 
much attached to the family where they have 
long lived, that no money would tempt thern 
to leave. They seem to feel that all that in- 
terests the family belongs to them. They 
share the joys, the sorrows, and the hopes of 
the family, and are loved and trusted by all, as 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 169 

kind and faithful friends, while every thing rea- 
sonable is done to make them comfortable and 
contented. • 

And I would advise every domestic to seek 
a place where she will be willing to stay 
for life, if she does not get a home of her own. 
And when she has found such a place, she 
should try, by her faithful services, and affec- 
tionate kindness, to make herself so necessary 
to the comfort of the family, that they will all 
feel that they cannot part with her, and will 

do all in their oower to make her comfortable 

J. 

and happy. 

There is one word of advice I would offer 
to domestics who do change their places, and 
that is, never to retail the private concerns of 
the family they leave. A great deal of trouble 
and ill will in society, is made by the scandal 
that is propagated by domestics, v^^ho go from 
one family to another. This ought not so to be. 
We have no right to talk about the faults of 
other persons, unless we can do some good by 
it. This the golden rule forbids ; for we know 
we should not be willing to have our faults re- 
tailed about and talked over to strangers, and 
15* 



170 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

what we are not willing to have done to us, 
w^e should not do to others. 

I beseech you, therefore, to make it a rule 
never to retail the faults of those with whom you 
have lived. And if you find persons question- 
ing you, to find out matters relating to the fam- 
ily in which you have worked,:just tell them that 
you do not think it is right to speak of the faults 
of those with whom you have lived. Do this, 
and every body will respect you for your sense 
of propriety, and feel reproved if they have 
tempted you, by questions, to so ungenerous and 
wrong a course. The only case when it would 
be right to tell the faults of those you have 
lived with, is when a person comes to you for 
information and advice about going to live in 
that place. In this case, it would be'proper to 
let them know both the good and the evil of 
the situation they inquire about. 

There is one frequent cause of difficulty be- 
tween employers and domestics, that ought to 
be taken care of, when first making an agree- 
ment. Employers always wish to hire the time 
of domestics, instead of hiring them to do some 
particular parts of family work. — But some 



ENGAGED TN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 171 

domestics feel that they are hired to do some 
particular part of the work, and when this is 
done, that their time is their own. Now this 
matter ought to be understood beforehand, for 
all employers would prefer to hire the time, 
even if they have to pay more wages. It is a 
great inconvenience to have domestics who feel 
that their time is their own, except when they 
are doing certain jobs they agreed to do. It is 
much the best for the comfort of a family, to 
have domestics who can be called on to help 
whenever they are needed. Of course there 
must be an understanding, in such cases, that 
domestics shall have time enough to do their 
own sewing and mending, and also for meetings 
and visiting to a suitable extent. All these 
things should be talked over beforehand, and 
it will save much trouble. 



172 LETTERS TO PERSONS 



LETTER XIY. 

ON ECONOMY. 

Economy a duty of all. Modes of economizing. 
My Friends : 

It is the duty of all persons, in every station 
of life, to practise that economy, which saves 
from waste, all the bounties of Providence, and 
which contrives to make every thing useful 
last as long as possible. The rich have a right 
to buy more expensive, and more numerous 
articles, than the poor, but they have no right 
to waste any thing ; for what they do not use 
themselves they should save for the comfort 
and enjoyment of others. 

And I think, generally, persons who are 
well off in the world, economize much better 
than the poor ; because they have more know- 
ledge to aid them in the choice and use of ar- 
ticles. And I think that persons who go to 
service, often practise very little good economy. 

I will point out some of the ways in which 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 173 

they waste much money. In the first place, 
they do not buy suitable dresses to work in. 
Dresses for work ought to be very strong and 
of fast colours, so that a working frock may 
last a great while, and yet retain a good colour. 
Now instead of this, they often buy common 
cheap calicoes, w^hich cost as much time and 
money to have made up as any, and yet in a 
few weeks the colours will be w^ ashed out, and 
the stuff also soon be gone. 

In buying a working dress, look for strong 
articles, which are of a dark colour and which 
will not fade badly. 

In purchasing articles for dresses to wear to 
church, or for visiting, do not get light and 
expensive silks which soon soil, and become 
useless. In choosing a silk dress, especially a 
black one, which is apt to be injured by the 
dye, get several samples first. Then take 
these pieces and double them up and rub the 
edges of the creases against a carpet. You will 
find that some wear off much sooner than the 
rest, and the one that bears this trial best, will 
wear the longest. 

You may be sure that every person of good 



174 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

taste and good judgment will admire and respect 
you a great deal more, if you dress neat and 
plain, than if you put on fine and showy arti- 
cles, that are suitable only for persons who have 
w^ealth. It is only persons of weak minds, or 
great ignorance of propriety, Avho w^ould ad- 
mire such extravagant and showy articles, as I 
am soiry to see, often worn by persons who 
earn a dollar or two a week by the labour of 
their hands. 

There is often much want of economy too, 
in regard to the making and mending of dress- 
es. It is no difficult matter to learn to make 
a frock, and it saves a great deal of expense. 
To do this, get a mantuamaker to fit and baste 
a frock for you, and not to sew it. Then take 
this, and first rip out a sleeve, and iron it out, 
and cut out a newspaper pattern of it. Then 
baste up the sleeve and fit it just as it was be- 
fore, except do not set it into the arm-hole. 

Then rip out one half the back, and one 
half the fore body, iron them out, and cut out 
patterns. If the fore body has the outside 
gathered or pleated on to the lining, cut out a 
pattern, both of the outside and lining. Notice 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 175 

how deep the seams are, and prick them into 
the pattern, or make a crease to show where 
they should be. Restore the back and fore body 
to their places, and baste in the sleeve. Then 
take some cheap stuff, and cut out the sleeves 
and waist by these patterns, and fit them like 
the dress you are imitating, and make the skirt 
by the pattern also. 

After this, you w^ill find little trouble in 
making another dress by these patterns. 

When sleeves begin to wear out, they are 
made to last much longer, by ripping out and 
changing them. So the skirt of a silk frock, 
will last much longer by ripping it from the 
waist, and moving it so that the front breadth 
goes to one side, and the places of all the 
breadths are changed. In doing this, the slit be- 
hind must be sewed up, and a new one made. 

For under garments, buy unbleached cotton, 
which will gradually whiten, and lasts a quar- 
ter longer than the whitened. The best petti- 
coats, for winter, are made by taking two old 
dresses and making a quilt. Never buy white 
flannel for common wear, unless you mean to 
colour it. This you can do very easily thus. 



176 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

Take a pound of cheap black tea, and a bit 
of copperas as big as a large hen's egg. Put 
them to two gallons of water, and boil them 
three quarters of an hour in an iron kettle. 
Then strain it off, and clean the kettle tho- 
roughly. Then put the strained dye into it 
again, and after wetting the flannel in warm 
■water, put it in and boil it fifteen minutes, lift- 
ing it up and stirring it often. Then rinse it 
several times in cold water, and it will be a 
dark lead colour. You can make a dove col- 
our by adding water to this dye. Home-made 
flannel coloured thus, is good for under petti- 
coats. Cotton and woollen stockings, coloured 
thus, are good for common w^ear. I advise you 
to knit coarse cotton for common wear in sum- 
mer and woollen for winter. Coarse knit stock- 
ings last four times as long as any you can 
buy, and this saves much mending. When 
stockings are worn in the feet, they can be cut 
down and made over. Strong double-soled 
shoes should be worn, except in warm weather, 
and if you will be careful to change your shoes 
often, so as not to wear them long on the same 
foot, they will last much longer. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 177 

It is a good plan to have a particalar eve- 
ning every week for taking care of your 
clothes. 

Those who cook would do well to wear 
either a cap, or a square muslin handkerchief, 
put on for a turban, while cooking. The neat- 
est persons in the world are liable to have hairs 
and dandruff fall from their heads, and this is 
the only sure way to keep such disgusting mat- 
ters out of the food. 

1 think it probable that some of you for 
whom I write, will not like the advice I give 
about the quality of your dress. But I can as- 
sure you it is what I should do myself were I 
under the necessity of labouring for a support. 
And if I had a sister, or any friend in your situa- 
tion, I should wish to have her follow this course. 
Good taste in dress is shown by accommodating 
our style of dress to our income, and v»'hen a 
domestic, who has not a hundred dollars a year, 
dresses like persons who have large incomes, 
every sensible and judicious person thinks it is 
foolish and in very bad taste. 

Moreover, by using strong and durable ar- 
ticles you save money that you can lay up to 

16 



178 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

provide for your wants, if you should have a 
family of your own, or if you should be sick or 
aged, and unabled to work. 

Besides all this, it is the duty of every "per- 
son to give something of their possessions to 
promote the comfort and welfare of others. 

When our Saviour saw a poor widow cast- 
ing two mites into the treasury which was to 
support religion, he commended her, even 
though it was the whole of her living. 

The reason of this was that a benevolent 
spirit is of more value to us than treasures of 
silver and gold, and none are so poor as not to 
need to cultivate this spirit. Now a person 
who spends all she gets on herself, loses one 
chance to cultivate this generous and benevo- 
lent spirit, which is so precious in God's sight, 
and so needful to our own best good. 

I hope, therefore, you will feel a pleasure in 
economizing, that you may thus increase your 
means, not only of providing for your own fu- 
ture independence and comfort, but also that 
you may have something to give to relieve 
many, who are suffering for the want of the 
comforts of this life, and still more for want of 



^ ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 179 

good hope of a better life to come. Give 
something then, every year, to promote both 
the temporal and spiritual good of your fellow 
creatures, and thus also secure the great bene« 
fit to yourself, which results from the exercise 
of a generous and benevolent spirit, 



180 LETTERS TO PERSONS 



LETTER XY. 

ON THE CARE OF CHILDREN. 

Patience very needful. Offering rewards. Never 
shame children for their faults. Never deceive them. 
Set an example of honesty and modesty. 

My Friends : 

I wish you could realize the great influence 
which you always must exert over the charac- 
ter aud welfare of children, for then what I am 
now going to write, would secure a deep inter- 
est in your minds. 

Children are creatures of imitation and 
sympathy, and they always feel and act very 
much as those do about them. Thus they are 
daily forming their tastes, habits and character 
from the pattern of those who are most with 
them. And their happiness, for time and eter- 
nity, is decided by the good or evil that thus 
surrounds them. 

Almost all domestics have more or less to 
do with the children of a family, so that though 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 18 

what I write is most important to those who 
nurse and take care of children, it should be 
deeply pondered by all. 

The greatest and most important requisite 
in all who have the care of children is patience. 
Children have come into a world where every 
thing is new to them — where they cannot un- 
derstand the mischief they make, — and more 
than all this, they are so thoughtless and for- 
getful, that they cannot remember when they 
do discover what is dangerous or wrong, as 
older minds can do. 

Suppose you were suddenly put in a vast 
kitchen, with ten thousand new utensils to work 
with, and new sorts of work to do, and all the 
time in danger of doing something wrong — or 
forgetting something you were told. You 
would feel puzzled, and sometimes out of pa- 
tience, and you would think it very hard if those 
who employed you had no patience, and no 
sympathy for yon, in such difficult circumstan- 
ces. You would think that you were more to 
be pitied than blamed, when you forgot, or 
made mistakes. And if your employers spoke 
kindly to you, and always seemed to feel for 

16* 



182 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

your difficulties, and to be patient with your 
forgetfulness, you would find it much easier to 
do your duty. 

Now children are in just such a situation. 
Just observe young children for one day, and 
see how many times they have to be told that 
they are doing wrong ! Poor things ! — they 
are ignorant, and forgetful, and have a thou- 
sand things to learn and to remember. And 
they often are blamed and found fault with for 
something every hour, and a great deal more 
than grown persons could bear. Have pa- 
tience with them, and as much as possible keep 
from speaking in cross and angry tones. 

I know persons who make it a rule never 
to speak cross to children. Instead of this, 
they wait till their own feelings are calm, and 
then kindly speak to them of their faults. And 
when they see a child doing mischief, instead 
of calling out in sharp and angry tones, they 
go up and take hold of the child and stop its 
mischief — or set it up in a chair — and take care 
not to speak till it can be done in a calm and 
gentle way. Children who are managed by 
such persons, have an example of patience, gen- 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE, 183 

tleness and kindness before them that has a 
great influence. 

And when such persons tell children that 
they must not act angry and speak cross, when 
any thing troubles them, it does far more good 
than it could do, if they see their advisers set 
them an example just contrary to their instruc- 
tions. 

One of the most successful ways of making 
children behave well is, to keep them good 
natured and happy. Very often, when children 
feel peevish, and when they get into conten- 
tions, some amusing story, or play, will make 
them good natured, and then all will go smooth 
again. Whereas, if those who take care of them 
fret at them, and tell them they are naughty 
and disagreeable, it only adds to their trouble 
and vexation, and makes them act worse rather 
than better. I have seen a person taking care 
of children, manage in this way. 

A little boy is out of humour — he goes sul- 
lenly about, and if any one speaks to him an- 
swers in cross tones — and then he teazes some 
one — or strikes, or kicks some one who teazes 
him. 



184 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

The nurse sees that the difficulty is, that the 
child feels irritable and unhappy, and that fault- 
finding will only make him feel worse. So she 
goes and takes him in her lap, and says, " Come 
here, children, and hear this story— or see this 
pretty thing — or hear me read something pretty 
to you" — so she contrives to amuse them a few 
minutes till all feel pleasant, and then she says 
to the offender, " Now, my dear little boy, you 
have been feeling cross and unhappy and have 
done wrong, but if you will try to be pleasant 
and speak kind for a whole hour, I will do so 
and so ; — and you other children too, must try 
to make your little brother feel comfortable 
and happy, and not trouble him in any way." 
Try such a method, and you wnll find it muck 
better than fretting at the child yourself. 

A person who takes care of children should 
economize her favors and kindnesses, and keep 
them to use for such occasions. If there are 
little enjoyments she can procure, or favours 
she can bestow, instead of giving them with- 
out any effort to gain them by the children — 
she should save them to use as rewards for 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 185 

their endeavours to be patient, kind and obe- 
dient. 

And in all the management of children, it 
should be a maxim to regulate them by love 
and ho'pe^ rather than by fault-finding and other 
penalties. 

If you tell a child " If you try to do so and 
so, yru shall have such an enjoyment," then 
the child has something pleasant to think of 
whenever he is tempted to do wrong, and he 
is 'pleased in trying. But if you tell him " If 
you do so and so, you shall be punished," or if 
he feels that he shall get a scolding if he does 
what he wants to do— then there is nothing plea- 
sant before the mind, while trying to do right. 
He sees punishment coming if he does one 
way — and no good comes if he does the other 
way, and so he has no pleasurable feeling at all 
to lead him to do right. There are some faults 
that must be cured by punishment, but these a 
parent must manage and not the domestics who 
take care of children. Let me advise you then, 
to manage children as much as possible by 
keeping them happy, and by offering them re- 
rewards for efforts to be good. 



186 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

And in offering these rewards, always have 
some particular thing that the child can try to do 
or not to do. Do not tell the child, " If you will 
he good all day I will do so and so." For " being 
good" is so indefinite that the child cannot tell 
what he is to aim at. — But tell a child, " Now 
if you will go a whole hour without speaking 
one unkind word, or if you will do such and 
such a thing, you shall have a favour," and then 
the child has some definite thing to try to do. 
And be careful not to have the time of trial too 
long, for an hour to a child is as long as a day 
to older persons, and if you can get a child to 
govern itself a short time, it is learning to do it 
easier and longer the next time. 

When children have faults never try to 
shame them out of them. Nothing hardens a 
child so much as this practice. Telling other 
people a child's faults, for the purpose of curing 
the fault, is a sad, sad mistake. Suppose, in 
order to cure you of some bad habit, your em- 
ployer should take visitors into the kitchen to 
shame you by telling them of your faults. Do 
you think it would be a good way to cure you 1 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 187 

Surely not, and it is no better to treat chil- 
dren thus. 

Instead of this, always treat children as if 
you thought they wished and intended to do 
right, and when they do wrong show sympa- 
thy and pity towards them, and try to conceal 
their faults from others as much as you can. 
This will make children love you, and try the 
more to do as you advise. When you have 
done wrong, if a person says, " It is always ]\xs\. 
^0 — I always expect you will forget, and do the 
wrong thing — I never can put any confidence 
in you" — does it not make you iee\ discouraged, 
as if there was no use in trying, and as if you 
were unjustly dealt with ? But suppose your 
employer says, " Oh, I see you forgot this thing 
— or did that thing wrong — but I suppose you 
did not mean to. We all forget sometimes 
— I think you will remember better next 
time." Does not such treatment make you 
feel as if you should try not to to forget next 
time — far more than the first mode ? 

Take this same way with children. Al- 
ways enconrage them to try again, and make 
all the allowances and excuses you can, and 



188 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

then they will feel that you are sorry for them, 
and they will wish and intend to do better next 
time. 

And the worse children are, the more 
danger there is of their losing all hope of im- 
proving, and all sense of shame, and all desire 
to gain a good character. I have had young 
persons come to my care, who I saw had acted 
so badly and been found fault with so much, 
that they did not expect any thing else, and so 
they never tried. And when they saw I ex- 
pected that they would do well, and pitied or 
excused their defects, and praised them for 
every thing that was at all commendable, they 
began to grow encouraged. And finding how 
pleasant it was to be praised, and to have some 
one that did not dislike them all the time for 
doing wrong, they made very great exertions, 
till they really became all that they saw I ex- 
pected. 

I have seen great changes made in very 
bad children, by merely stopping finding fault, 
and encouraging and praising as much as truth 
would allow. I advise you try the same 
method., when you have to deal with very bad 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 189 

children. Stop finding fault ; try to palliate 
and excuse as much as you can ; try to con- 
vince them, you feel kindly to them ; try to make 
them feel happy ; act as if you expected they 
would try to do well ; and every chance you 
can find, when they do well, commend them 
for it, and report their good conduct to their 
friends. Try this, and you will often find it 
will w^ork wonders in improving bad children. 

Be very careful, in talking with children, 
never to set an example of deceit. It often is 
as bad to deceive as it is to tell a direct lie, 
and a deceitful character is one of the worst 
and most disagreeable. For this reason never 
deceive children in any way, or for any purpose 
— and always express disgust if you see any 
deceitful tricks in them. Children soon learn 
to despise and dislike what others do, and 
if deceit is always spoken of as hateful and 
mean, they soon learn to feel so about it them- 
selves. 

Be careful to cherish feelings of strict hon- 
esty in children. Always advise them to ask 
leave to use each other's things, and talk to 
them about the meanness and the danger of 

17 



190 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

taking or using what belongs to others without 
knowing that the owners are willing. Remem- 
ber that " stealing, is using what belongs to 
others, without proper evidence that the owner 
is willing.^' And the evil is not so much in the 
thinp" done, as in the want of an honest charac- 
ter in the person who does it. And this want of 
honesty can be shown, as much in little matters 
as it is in great ones. If a child sees you go and 
get a needle, or thread, or a bit of tape from 
its mother's work basket, and knows that 
its mother would not be willing, your ex- 
ample leads it to steal also. — Remember these 
things, and beware lest you are the guilty 
cause of training children to deceit and disho- 
nesty. 

Always endeavour to make young chil- 
dren modest and delicate. Avoid vulgar and 
indelicate words and actions, and express great 
disgust when you see or hear any thing im- 
modest or indelicate in them. Nothing saves 
children from future dangers so much as great 
care in this respect. 

Try to cultivate in children a habit of in- 
dustry. This is a great preservative from bad 



ENGAGED LN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 191 

tempers, and from mischief. Children love to 
be active, and they can easily be induced to be 
useful in one way or another. Try to contrive 
useful employment for them, and if you cannot 
secure it any other way, offer some reward for 
their services. But always try first, to get them 
to do useful things, for the pleasure of helping 
others, and of thus doing good. A great deal 
can be done in this way by trying, and thus 
you are helping to form habits both of industry 
and benevolence. 

Never allow yourselves to tell young chil- 
dren frightful stories. Sometimes children suffer 
agonies of fear, from having their imaginations 
filled with frightful images, that haunt them in 
the dark, or when they go to bed. When I 
was very young I was told by a young girl, 
who did not like to stay by me, that if I cried, 
or made any noise, the " hull beggars'^ w^ould 
come down chimney and carry me off. And 
many a night I lay with my head covered up, 
sweating with fear and distress that I shall 
never forget. Probably there is no distress of 
childhood so great as that of^ fear, and domes- 
tics should be very careful not to excite it, and 



192 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

should be patient and kind to little children 
when they suffer from it. 

Another thing I hope you will avoid, and 
that is, giving children good things to eat in 
order to coax or reward them. Remember 
that every time any thing is put into the sto- 
mach, all its muscles begin to work in moving 
it about, for an hour or two; for the stomach, in 
digesting food, w^orks as hard as the hands work 
in kneading bread. The stomach needs time 
to rest after this effort, and children ought 
never to eat more than once between meals, 
and then they ought to have bread, or some 
other simple food. 

Those, therefore, who give them cake, or 
candy, or nuts, and allow them to keep eating 
them every time they like, take a course w^hich, 
unless the stomach is very strong, is sure to 
weaken and injure it. When children have 
nuts, apples, candy, or cakes, persuade them to 
eat them, either at their meals as a part, or else 
half way between a meal as a luncheon, and do 
not let them keep nibbling and tasting through 
several successive hours, thus keeping the sto- 
mach all the time labouring, and wearing out 
ts strength. 



ENGAGED IN UOx\IESTlC SERVICE. 193 



LETTER XYL 

on cooking. 
My Friends : 

There are plenty of receipt books in this 
country, that direct as to the kind of ingredients 
for food, and as to the proper quantities ; but 
no knowledge of receipts can ever make a good 
cook. 

The great art of good cooking is faking care. 
Take care that your fire is not too hot, nor too low 
— that your oven is not too hot, nor too cold — 
that your bread is not too much raised, nor too 
little; that your mixtures have not too much? 
nor too little of any particular ingredient. — It is 
care, care, watch, watch, that alone can secure 
the art of cooking well. And there are few 
persons whose business it is to cook, who view 
their duty on this subject in a proper light. 
To illustrate my meaning, I will give an exam- 
ple. Thedomestic of a family in which I have 

17* 



194 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

resided, was remarkable for always havinj^ 
good bread, at all seasons, even when the hot 
weather spoiled all other yeast but hers. 

And such light, such sweet, such beautiful 
looking bread rarely is seen. Now the amount of 
pleasure and comfort given to this family by 
this one thing, few would appreciate. The 
master of the house always seemed to rejoice 
at every new baking, in seeing his family 
so well supplied. His wife always seemed 
pleased when her husband, children, and visit- 
ors praised the bread, and every member of the 
family, at every meal, felt a sort of satisfaction 
every time they looked at the bread plate. 
Now multiply these comfortable feelings at each 
meal, by the number of all the family, and 
then by the number of meals in a year, and 
v/hat a large amount of enjoyment was thus 
made, simply by taking care always to have 
good bread ! Change this bread to merely tol- 
erable bread, and how much enjoyment would 
be lost ! — Turn it to heavy and sour bread, and 
then how much discomfort would take the place 
of enjoyment ! 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 195 

Now is it not God who gives us all the 
common comforts of life, and do we not thank 
and praise him for them 1 And is it not worthy 
the aim of his creatm'es to follow his example, 
in contributing to the daily enjoyment of a 
family 'I And ought we not to dignify and 
ennoble all the common cares of life, by regard- 
ing ourselves, as co-workers with God in pro- 
viding for the comfort and enjoyment of his 
creatures ? 

This view of the subject teaches us the true 
meaning of the direction : " Whether there- 
fore ye eat, or drink, or whatever ye do, do all 
to the glory of God,^' Now the glory of God 
consists in that perfect benevolence of his char- 
acter, which leads him always to find pleasure in 
providing for the comfort, and caring for the hap- 
piness of his creatures. And the more happiness 
is made, the more his glory is promoted. And 
the more we labour to promote the comfort and 
enjoyment of others, the more we are becoming 
like him, and are promoting his glory. Thus, in 
the humblest of all positions, every one of us 
can do something to add to the stock of happi- 
ness, which exhibits the glory of God, as the 



196 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

author of all being, and the source of all enjoy- 
ment. 

Now it is much to be lamented, that people 
should fancy that there are some particular 
ways of doing good, that are especially ac- 
ceptable to God. This is not so. It is the 
temper of mind, that God looks at and approves, 
and not the particular thing done. — A woman 
may go about'and visit the poor, and give mo- 
ney to send eihication and the gospel to others, 
with very little self-denial, and perhaps from 
the mere love of the credit thus gained. And 
in this case, in God's sight, the offering is of 
little value. But the domestic, who in her hum- 
blest employments, goes about trying to do 
every thing in the best manner, aiming thus 
to serve God, by promoting the comfort of 
his creatures — she is the one who receives his 
approving smile — she is the one who, ivhateve?' 
she does, is doing all " for the glory of 
God." I wish all who read this would thus 
regard their daily pursuits in the kitchen, 
and then they will not feel, as too many in 
humble circumstances are apt to do, that they 
have no way in which they can serve God, or 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 197 

do much good in the world. None of us can 
tell who does the most, or the least good. God 
appoints each one of us our lot, and requires 
all to do what they can, to complete the great 
sum of enjoyment, which He designs to secure. 
And the great thing for each to aim at is, not 
to have some great thing to do, but to possess 
that benevolent and submissive temper of mind 
that will rejoice to do good, wherever God ap- 
points the place. 

In the first of Corinthians, you will find a 
chapter in which " charity^' is described. Now 
when the Bible was translated from the Greek 
200 years ago, this word " charity" meant 
what the word benevolence means now, and we 
should so understand it. In this chapter you 
find it thus written : " And thouo:h I have theo-ift 
of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all 
knowledge, and though I have all faith so that I 
could remove mountains, and have not charity, 
(that is, benevole?ice,) I am nothing. And 
though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, 
and though I give my body to be burned, and 
have not charity — it proiiteth me nothing." 

Now this is the very thing I have been ex- 



198 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

plaining. A person may be the most learned 
person in the world, and may give all he has 
to feed the the poor, and even suffer tn arty rdom 
for the sake of religion, and yet be destitute of that 
temper of truebejievolenceihcit makes him hke 
God. Ali these great things may be done from 
a mere love of show, or the desire of applause, 
and then they are nothing in the sight of God. 

But that patient, humble, kind, gentle, be- 
nevolent temper of mind, that lovej to serve 
God and do good to man, in all circumstances, 
and at all times, this is precious in the sight of 
God. And this temper of mind can be cherish- 
ed and exhibited, as much in the kitchen as it 
can in the pulpit. — It can be shown, as much 
in providing food for a family, as it can in those 
schemes of benevolence which send missionaries 
and Bibles to heathen lands. 

And though it is the duty of all Christians 
to feel an interest in the spread of that blessed 
religion, which brings so much hope and comfort 
to us, and thouo'h we ought all of us to contribute 
something from our stock for this merciful and 
heavenly object, yet we ought to feel that this 
is only one way of showing our benevolent 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 199 

feelinors, and that we can have but a few 
chances of this kind in a year. But it is in 
every day life that we can all the time be show- 
ing forth the temper of benevolence. And here 
it is that Jesus Christ looks to see, whether or 
not, we are gaining that self-denying, benevo- 
lent, and submissive spirit, that alone can pre- 
pare us for His heavenly kingdom. 

I will now point out some particulars in 
your every day duties, that demand special at- 
tention. 

There is no one article of cooking, that is 

so important as good bread, for this is the chief 
dependence for food in most families, and the 
health of a family very much depends upon it. 
Poor bread is always unhealthy. There are 
three things that are requisite to secure good 
bread, viz. good flour, good yeast, and good 
care. The best kind of flour has a very white 
or a yellowish tinge, and the poorest looks 
as if ashes were mixed with it. Good flour 
too packs closely, and does not fly about easily. 
Grown flour makes bread that runs, and will 
not rise well. It is best always to try flour 



200 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

in one or two batches, before getting a whole 
barrel. 

Many persons secure good yeast the year 
round, by making yeast cakes. There are others 
who have tried them and do not like them. 
These are made by mixing Indian meal in a 
quart or two of the best yeast, till it is thick 
enough to work up into round cakes about three 
quarters of an inch thick, and tw^o or three 
inches in diameter. These are dried in the 
sun, or what is better, in a drying wnnd. They 
are then kept in a bag, in a place where it is 
not damp, and where they will not freeze. 

In using them, take one cake for a large 
batch of bread, and soak it in milk and water 
throucrh the nio;ht, and then use it like common 
yeast. This yeast is good for hot weather 
when yeast spoils so often. The best time for 
making yeast cakes is in May and October, and 
they will keep six months or more. Success 
all depends on having the best of yeast for ma- 
king the cakes. 

Those who have most success in making 
bread, are very particular in heating their oven 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 201 

exactly right. For this purpose they have 
oven -wood kept in a pile by itself, and the 
sticks of nearly equal size. They then find 
out bj trial, how many sticks heat the oven 
just right. Afterwards, they always use this 
number, and thus they are saved from much 
watching, and from many mistakes in bak- 
ing. 

Great care is needful also to put the bread 
in at just the right time. If the bread does 
not stand to rise long enough^ it is too solid, 
either for health, or pleasure in eating. If it 
stands too long, it loses much of its sweetness, 
even if it does not become sour. A great deal 
of light and nice looking bread is not good, be- 
cause it has lost its sweetness by being raised 
too much. The exactly right notch can only 
be found by trying, and after a while a cook 
will learn to know by the looks of the dough 
when it is just right. 

Always smell of the dough, and if there is 
the least sourness, knead some dissolved pearl- 
ash in, and it will remove it. Nothing is worse 
than sour bread, and it can always be remedied 
by pearlash. To discover sourness, open a 

18 



202 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

place suddenly, and smell quickly before the 
gas escapes. 

The following is the mode of making yeast 
and bread, practised by the domestic I have lived 
with, who makes as good bread as I ever saw. 

For yeast, take a handful of hops, boil them 
in two quarts of water twenty minutes, strain 
off and mix in about three pints of flour, to- 
gether with half a pint of distillery yeast, or a 
pint and a half of homemade yeast. Some mo- 
lasses or sugar added, hides the bitter taste 
of the yeast, that sometimes is perceived in 
bread. 

For bread, take a peck of flour, sift it, make 
a hole in the centre, and put in half a pint of 
distillery yeast, or nearly a pint of homemade 
yeast. Then wet up the flour with warm milk. 
The bread must then be kneaded for half an 
hour, until it is so thick and w^ell mixed as to 
cleave from the hands without sticking at all. 
Raise it till it has cracks on the top and looks 
light and feathery. If sour at all, knead in a 
great spoonful of pearlash dissolved in a tea- 
cupful of milk. When the bread is baked, 
set the loaves on their ends, so that the hot- 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 203 

torn may not steam, and cover it with a cloth. 
Some persons dampen the cloth to make the 
crust soft. Some persons put salt in bread, 
others do not. When bread is not wet with 
milk it needs salt, and a bit of butter is also an 
improvement. 

In cooking vegetables, much depends upon 
boiling them the right length of time. This 
is especially the case with potatoes, which next 
after bread are the most important item in fami- 
ly cooking. Success in boiling potatoes well, 
depends almost entirely on taking them out of 
the water just as soon as they are done so as to 
be soft. If they remain after this point, they . 
become water soaked. Therefore select the 
potatoes all nearly of one size, and try them 
often with a fork. As soon as it runs in easily, 
pour oif the water, and hang them where they 
w^ill be kept hot, keeping the cover off, to let 
oflf the steam. Even when potatoes are cook- 
ed in steam, they become water soaked, if they 
are kept steaming after they are cooked. 

A very nice way to cook potatoes for a 
morning dish, is to pare them raw, and cut 
them in thin slices into a small quantity of 



204 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

boiling water, so that when they are cooked, 
most of the water will be evaporated. Then 
salt them and add some cream. If no cream is 
at hand, use some butter. Cold boiled potatoes 
are very nice cut in slices, and fried on a grid- 
dle in drippings. The common way of roast- 
ing potatoes is improved by peeling them when 
raw, and then roasting them in a Dutch oven 
or cooking stove. It gives the outside a fine 
crisp, of which many are fond. 

In boiling all vegetables, first put salt in 
the water, say a great spoonful to a gallon. It 
is important to select all of a similar size that 
all may cook alike. Never let your pot stop 
boiling till they are done, as it makes them 
water soaked. 

The following may serve as some guide as 
to time for boihng. Potatoes require from half 
to three quarters of an hour, according to the 
size. Cabbage requires from an hour and a 
half to two hours ; turnips one hour ; carrots one 
hour ; if quite old still more time ; parsnips one 
hour and a half; squash, when cut up, half an 
hour; pumpkins cut up one hour; green corn one 
hour; beets from two to three hours; Lima 



ENGAGED [N DOiMESTIC SERVICE. 205 

beans one hour; peas three quarters of an hour ; 
if old, sugar and a httle pearlash improve them ; 
onions three quarters of an hour ; asparagus 
half an hour; rice three quarters of an hour, 
pour off the water in thirty minutes and add 
some milk, and be sure and salt it enough. 
Hommony requires two quarts of water to one 
quart of hommony, and it must be boiled five 
hours. Eggs require three minutes when there 
are few eggs and much water, and four or five 
minutes when there are many eggs and little 
water. Eggs cook, in a tin boiler, in five or six 
minutes after the boiling water is poured on 
them, if the boiler is first scalded. Vegetables 
boil much sooner when young and tender, and 
judgment must be used in varying time. Al- 
ways try all vegetables with a fork to see 
when they are done. 

Coffee should boil not more than ten min- 
utes. In making tea, first scald the teapot, then 
put in one teaspoonful of tea for each person, 
and be sure that the water boils when poured 
on. Tea is injured by standing long to draw. 

In preparing vegetables for the table, al- 
ways have the dishes to receive them warmed, 

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206 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

and never let any water remain in the bottom of 
the dish, and always wipe the edge of the dish 
clean with a damp cloth before carrying it 
to the table. Always contrive to have vege- 
tables hot when carried to the table. If pota- 
toes are old and watery, peel them before boil- 
ing ; the moment they are done, pour off the 
water and hang them to dry a few minutes. 
Then empty them into a clean brown towel 
and shake them about in it. This makes them 
dry and mealy, as the towel absorbs much 
moisture from them. Potatoes are improved 
by mashing, putting in milk and butter and 
then baking them. Turnips when old and not 
sweet, are very much improved by mashing 
and squeezing the water out, and then adding 
a little white sugar. Be sure and squeeze the 
w^ater thoroughly out of cabbage. Put your 
vegetables in nice order in the dishes, and set 
them on the table in a regular way. 

In regard to cooking meats, very much 
depends, in roasting, on the size of the fire, on 
the heat of the weather, and on whether the 
meat is fresh killed or not ; for meat cooks fas- 
ter in warm than in cold weather, and fresh 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 207 

killed meat is longer cooking than meat that 
has been kept. Of course much depends on the 
care and judgment of a cook, but as some cal- 
culation must be made beforehand, as to how 
much time each article will require, the follow- 
ing may be of service as a guide. Boil a 
chicken twenty-five minutes ; a hen forty min- 
utes 5 a small turkey an hour and a half; a large 
one two hours ; a leg of mutton of nine lbs. two 
hours and a half; a neck two hours; apiece of 
lamb weighing five lbs. two hours ; a half round 
of salt beef three hours ; pickled pork, soak six 
hours, and boil a piece weighing seven or eight 
lbs. three hours and a half. Boil two pounds of 
bacon one hour and a half. To cook ham, 
soak it through the night, then put it in cold 
water, heat it slowly for an hour, then let it 
simmer gently four or five hours, if it weighs as 
much as fifteen pounds. Soak tongues over 
night, put them in cold water and boil them 
slowly four or five hours. Try with a fork to 
see when they are done. 

All boiling of meats should be done hy sim- 
mering, for a galloping boil takes out both 



208 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

sweetness and tenderness. Leaving cooked meat 
in the water lessens its flavour and sweetness. 

Roasting may be regulated somewhat by 
the following directions. Roast a sirloin of fif- 
teen lbs. three hours and a half. Ribs of beef 
the same. 

Mutton is very much improved by long 
keeping, and all meat is better when not fresh 
killed. Roast a leg of mutton of eight lbs. two 
hours ; the chine, or saddle weighing ten lbs. 
two and a half hours ; a shoulder of seven lbs* 
one and a half hours ; a loin, one and three quar- 
ter hours ; the breast one hour and fifteen min- 
utes ; a leg and part of the loin weighing fif- 
teen lbs. three and a half. 

Veal. Roast the fillet weighing sixteen lbs. 
five hours ; a stuffed loin three hours ; a shoul- 
der three hours ; a neck two hours j the breast 
two hours. 

Lamb. Hind quarter of eight lbs. one and 
three quarter hours ; fore quarter of ten lbs. two 
hours ; a leg of five lbs. one and a half hours ; 
a shoulder one hour; ribs one and a quarter • 
neck one hour 3 breast three quarters of an 
hour. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 209 

Pork. Leg of eight lbs. three hours ; spare- 
rib of nih ?. lbs. three hours ; a thin sparerib one 
and a quarter; a loin of five lbs. two hours. 
A three weeks old pig one and three quarter 
hours. 

Fowls. A turkey — let it warm for half 
an hour, then roast a large one three hours, 
a middle size two hours ; a small one, one and 
a half hours. A large hen one and a quarter 
hours ; a middle size hen one hour ; small chick- 
en forty minutes. A goose, from one and a half, 
to one and three quarters. 

A duck from one half to three quarters of 
an hour. The more you baste in roasting the 
more you improve the flavour of the meat. 

In broiling, cut the slices three quarters of 
and inch thick. If cut thicker they brown too 
much before the inside is cooked. Broiling is 
best, done quick, and eaten soon. 

A cook has great opportunities for practi- 
sing economy. For this end she should visit 
the cellar and pantry every day, to see that all 
the food is safely preserved, and that all spoilt 
articles are removed. She should save all 
small bits of butter, all drippings that can be 



''mm 'Wb^ 
210 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

used in cooking, and all grease that can be 
used for soap. She should preserve all good 
bits of bread, which can, when dry, be boiled 
in water or milk, to eat with butter and sugar 
— a favourite dish for children. Dry bread is 
also good for rusk puddings, and for stuffings. 

Always use the dry bread before it becomes 
mouldy. 

A cook also should practise economy in the 
use of fuel. Domestics are very apt to burn 
out far more fuel than is needful to keep them- 
selves comfortable, or to do the cooking pro- 
perly. This is very wrong, for we have no 
right to waste even our own things, far less to 
waste what belongs to another. 

Remember that when our Saviour had 
power, by one w^ord, to supply five thousand 
with bread, .still he commanded his disciples, 
" Gather up the fragments, that nothing be 
lost." This w^as done for the instruction of all 
who have the charge of food, or any of the 
bounties of his providence. Remember then, 
that in taking care of fragments of food you 
are following the example of him who thinks 
nothing is too small for his care and attention* 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SEKVICE. 211 

In hot weather be careful always to cover meat 
from the flies. In preserving fresh meat, cut 
out all kernels, and fill the holes with salt, then 
rub salt all over. Always keep cheese covered 
closely. Cake, bread and cheese are best kept 
in tin boxes with tight covers. 

The grand maxim for kitchen work, as well 
as all other work is, " A place for every thing, 
and every thing in its place." Much is gained 
by forming a habit of putting up things and 
cleaning things as fast as they are used. You 
will see some domestics get a kitchen in fine 
order, and in a couple of hours every thing will 
be in disorder again. This is because, when 
they make a slop they do not wipe it, when 
they dirty the hearth they do not sweep it, 
when they use articles they never put them in 
their places. Instead of this a neat and orderly 
person not only puts things in order, but kee'ps 
them so. 

I have heard some housekeepers express 
the opinion that it was out of the question to 
get a domestic that was neat and orderly, and 
yet good tempered. It seems to be taken for 



212 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

granted that neat habits and a sharp temper go 
together. 

Now this is owing to the fact, that when 
persons are neat and orderly, it troubles them 
far more than it does untidy persons, to have 
any matters of theirs disarranged, and so they 
gradually acquire a habit of fretting, or scold- 
ing. 

This ought to be carefully avoided, and I 
hope all who read this will try and see if there 
cannot be at least a few, who can be neat, or- 
derly, and yet good tempered domestics, so that 
it will not be said of them, as I have often 
heard of others, " Yes, she is very neat and or- 
derly, but her temper is as sharp as a steel- 
trap." 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 213 



LETTER XYII. 

On setting tables. "Washing and ironing, and other 
house work. 

My Fkiends : 

Those who are good housekeepers are 
generally very desirous to have their tables set 
neatly, and in a proper manner. Few things. 
are more annoying to such persons, than to see 
the table set askew, the table cloth tumbled 
and put on awry, the knives, tumblers, plates, 
and dishes put on without any order; the 
pitchers soiled outside and in, the butter pitch- 
ed on the plate without any care, the bread 
cut w^ith a mixture of junks and thin slices and 
thrown on the plate carelessly, and all other 
matters in similar disorder. Nothing wall give 
more satisfaction to employers than carefulness 
and order in this particular. The following 
rules will serve as a guide in this duty. 

19 



214 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

Rules for setting Tables. 

1. Lay the table rug square with the 
room ; the right side up, and smooth and even. 

2. Set the table square with the room, and 
see that the leaves and legs are properly fixed, 
so that all will stand firm, and then put on the 
table cloth smooth and even, so that the creases 
will run straight across the table. 

3. For breakfast and tea,sei the waiter on 
square, put the cups and saucers in front, and 
the sugar and slop bowls, and cream cup the 
back side. Put a sugar spoon, or tongs, by the 
sugar bowl. Then set the plates around the 
table at regular distances with a knife in front, 
and a napkin on one side and a cup rnat 
the back side of it. Put mats for dishes of 
food in a regular manner, and set these dishes 
on, square and orderly. Set the tea or coffee 
either on the waiter, or on a mat at the right 
hand. 

4. For dinner, set the caster exactly in 
the middle of the table, and put the salts at 
two oblique corners of the table between tw^o 
large spoons crossed. If more spoons are 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 215 

needed lay them each side the caster. Lay the 
salt spoons across the salt dishes, and the mustard 
spoon beside its cup. Place the knives and 
forks at regular distances, so that the knife 
will be at the right hand and the fork at the 
left. Place a tumbler and napkin so that they 
will be at the right hand side of each plate. 
In cool weather, set the plates to warm till 
dinner is ready. Place the two largest mats 
opposite the master and mistress of the family, 
and the others in regular order. Put the two 
principal dishes on these largest mats. Set the 
bread on a side table, or with a fork lay a piece 
on the napkin by each plate. 



On clearing Tables. 

Always wipe the salt spoons and lay them 
beside the salt dishes in the cupboard. Also 
cleanse the mustard spoon. Fold the napkins 
neatly and lay them up in good order. When 
all the dishes are removed, fold up the table 
cloth so that it shall double in the same creases 
as were ironed in, and lay it away smoothly. 



216 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

On waiting at Table. 

Always have a clean apron on, and your 
hands clean, and your hair in order, when 
waiting on table. Stand on the left side of the 
lady of the house, and always go to the left 
side of a person waited on. 

In removing covers, be careful to turn 
them wrong side up before bearing them away, 
so as not to spill the steam on the table cloth, 
or on the dresses of those at table. In pour- 
ing out water, never fill the tumbler higher than 
an inch from the top. It is not considered 
good manners when waiting on table, to address 
persons at table, or join in the conversation at 
all, unless you are addressed by persons at the 
table. 

On Washing and Ironing. 

Success in washing well, depends very 
much on the abundant use of water, and it is 
very important to employers, w^ho are anxious 
to have their clothes w^ell washed, that they 
provide easy modes of getting water and of 
heating it. In the work of mine on Domestic 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 217 

Economy, which I have before alluded to, is a 
plan by which, at a trifling expense, water can 
be raised, conducted about, and heated with 
far less labor than is commonly used. 

Common mode of Washing. 

Assort the clothes and put the white ones 
in soak over night, as it loosens the dirt. Next 
day, w^ash the fine clothes first, and then rub 
them again in a second suds, turning all wiong 
side out. Put them in a bag and boil them 
half an hour, and no more. Then rinse them 
in a plenty of w^ater and throw them into the 
bluing water. The nicest washers use two 
rinse waters before the bluing water. Starch 
those to be stiffened, and hang them out. Then 
wash the common white clothes, then the cal- 
icoes, then the flannels. 

Never leave calicoes long damp, or standing 
in water ; do not wash them in very hot water, 
and when the water looks dingy, change it or 
they will look dirty. Never rub on soap, but mix 
it in the water so as not to have any lumps, and 
use hard soap. Never let calicoes freeze in dry- 

19* 



218 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

ing, and dry them wrong side out and in a shady 
place. All these cautions are needful to preserve 
the colours. Wash flannels in two suds, as hot 
as the hand can bear, and rinse in a hot suds. 
If not very dirty, two hot suds will answer. 

If they are to be blued, then the rinse water 
must not be suds, as it makes the bluing go on 
in specks. Never put flannels in any but very 
hot water. Starch and shake them before 
hanging out. 

Soda Washing. 

This mode saves just one half the work 
done by the common mode. 

Make the soap thus : Boil six pounds of 
common soda with six pounds of bar soap in 
thirty quarts of water two hours. Then let it 
grow cool, and set it away for use. 

In washing, put one pound of this soap to 
each pailful of water. After soaking the white 
clothes in lukewarm water over night, boil 
them in this mixture one hour and no more, or 
they will be injured. Then take them into a 
tub of cold water, and proceed just as you do 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 219 

in the common mode after you take them out 
of the boil. That is, rinse them in one or two 
waters and put them in blue water. The boiling 
in this mixture saves the rubbing in two suds, 
which is the common mode. If there are spots 
very much soiled, put on soap and rub them in 
the first rinse water. Flannels and calicoes 
cannot be washed thus. The mixture can be 
used twice or thrice, and then is good to wash 
floors with. Always wring clothes very dry 
the last time. 

O71 Sprinkling, Folding and Ironing. 

Wipe the dust from the ironing board or 
table. Take lukewarm water and sprinkle all 
the articles, laying the coloured ones separately 
and the fine ones by themselves. Turn each 
article right side out. Fold and roll each 
piece separately, putting the fine ones in a 
towel and laying all in a basket, separating the 
white and coloured ones by a towel. Do not 
let the coloured clothes be damp long, but 
wait till you can iron them as soon after 
folding as will answer. Shake, stretch and 



220 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

fold the sheets and table linen. Iron all lace 
and needle work on the wrong side. Iron cal- 
icoes with an iron not very hot. Frocks are 
to be ironed thus; first the waist, then the 
sleeves, and then hang them on a chair, and 
iron the skirt. Keep the skirt_ rolled, while 
ironing the w^aist and sleeves. 

Shirts are ironed thus ; first the back, then 
the sleeves, then the collar and bosom, then 
the front. Iron stockings on the wrong side. 
"Wipe the dust from the clothes frame be- 
fore putting on the clothes, and remove the 
clothes as soon as aired, to save them from 
smoke or flies. 

Other Kitchen Work> 

Be careful to keep your sink in order by 
frequent scalding. Keep a slop pail at hand 
to receive all refuse matter. Always keep a 
kettle of warm soft water over the fire. 

Be very careful to wash dishes properly, as 
this is a matter very often done amiss. I will 
tell you how those persons do this kind of 
work, who are ranked as the best domestics. 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 221 

In the first place, they always keep a good 
supply of dish cloths. They have at least 
three in daily use, one for dishes that are not 
greasy, one for greasy dishes, and one for pots 
and kettles. These are put in the wash every 
week, and clean ones taken in their place. 
This prevents the musty, greasy smell that dish 
water so often leaves on dishes and dish towels. 

When a large number of dishes are to be 
washed, they have two dish pans, one for hot 
suds and one for rinsing ; also an old waiter, 
on which to drain the dishes when taken out 
of the rinsing water. 

They also keep their suds hot and change 
it often. Before washing the dishes, they scrape 
all the plates and dishes clean and set them in 
regular piles, the largest at the bottom. Then 
they wash the glass, silver and other metal 
dishes first, wiping them while hot and rubbing 
them till bright and clear. Then they wash 
the dishes not greasy ; and then take another 
dish cloth and wash the greasy dishes, rinsing 
them before putting them to drain. They 
keep two or three towels in use, so as to lay 
one aside when it becomes wet. One towel is 



222 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

usually kept for the dishes that are not greasy. 
Last of all, they take another dish cloth, and get- 
ting fresh water, wash the roasters, gridiron, pots 
and kettles. The metals they dry by the fire 
before setting away. For the nicest dishes, a 
swab made of stripes of linen tied to a stick like 
a small mop, is very convenient, and saves the 
hands from the hot water. 

Be very careful to keep the cellar clean. 
Decayed vegetables in a cellar always endan- 
ger the health of a family. Many terrible 
fevers and epidemics have been caused by 
storinpj veo^etables in cellars and leavings them 
to send out the poisonous gas that is always 
exhaled when they decay. Always remove 
any vegetables when they begin to decay. 
Watch the barrels of salt food to see that the 
meat keeps under the brine. 

Care of Lamps. 

This matter demands far more care and 
neatness than is generally bestowed. This is 
the w^ay I have seen it managed by these most 
neat and careful. An old w^aiter is provided to 



ENGAGED IN DOxAIESTIC SERVICE. 223 

hold all the articles used, the oil pot has a 
small turned-up nose that will not drip and is 
set on a plate, the wick yarn is kept in a bas- 
ket and shar'p scissors are kept for trimming. 
Great pains is taken to keep all the articles free 
from oil, and the rags and towels used are fre- 
quently washed and changed. After all the lamps 
are done, each lamp is carefully examined to 
see if it is secured properly, and wiped entirely 
clean. Then every article used is made so cleaii 
and nice that no smell of oil will be caused by 
using them next time. Some housekeepers 
always do this job themselves, because they 
cannot get persons who will do it carefully. 

Nothing makes work go off so easily as hav- 
ing sofiie system in doing it. Where the mis- 
ress of the family does not arrange your work, 
alwaystry to have some plan yourself. For ex- 
ample, have a particular day of the week for 
doing particular kinds of work, and go by the 
clock as much as you can. 

On Friday or Saturday, see that your cel- 
lar, closets, pantry, are all in order. See also 
that you have a supply of holders, dish cloths, 
and all the articles you need for washing and 



224 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

ironing. If you will devote one day each 
week to examining every department and put- 
ting all in order, you will save much time and 
trouble. 



On the Care of Parlours and Chamhers. 

In sweeping the nicest parlours, it is com- 
mon to cover the tables, books, sofas and chim- 
ney ornaments with old sheets. Then cleanse 
the fireplace and hearth and jambs. Then 
sweep the carpet. It saves a carpet very much 
to have a very large flat tin dust pan, with a 
handle a yard long, fixed straight up, so it will 
stand alone. This can be moved about with- 
out stooping, and much of the dirt swept into 
it with the broom, instead of sweeping all 
across the carpet. This saves much dust as 
well as wearing of the carpet. 

After the dust settles, dust the articles with 
old silk handkerchiefs and feather brushes. Use 
a painter's brush for dusting ledges. Shake and 
wash your dust cloths often, or they get filled 
with dust and soil the walls and furniture. 

In dusting, be careful not to rub your 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 225 

duster against the wall. Set all the furniture 
straight and in regular order — never leave the 
chairs standing awry, as if dancing a jig with 
each other. Make them square with the wall. 
When doing chamber work, observe the fol- 
lowing directions about making a bed. 

To make a bed. 

Open the windows, lay off the bed covering 
on two chairs at the foot, and let the bed air 
some time before making it. Vv- hen ready to 
make it, shake the feathers from each corner 
into the middle, then take up the middle part 
and shake it well, then push about the feathers 
and turn the bed over. Then push the feathers 
so as to make the head a little higher than the 
foot, and the sides as high as the middle part. 
Then put on the bolster, and then the undersheet 
so that the marking shall be at the head, and the 
right side of the sheet upward, tucking in all 
around. Then place the pillows so that the 
open ends shall be at the sides of the bed. 
Then spread on the upper sheet so that the 
marking shall be at the head, and the right side 
20 



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226 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

downward. This arrangement of the sheets is 
designed to prevent the part where the feet lie 
from being turned so as to come to the face, 
and to prevent also the parts soiled by the body 
from touching the bed tick and blankets. Then 
put on the other covering, tucking in all ex- 
cept the outside one. Then smooth the cover 
and draw the hand along the side of the pil- 
lows, to make an even indentation. When the 
pillow cases are smooth and clean, hem over 
the upper sheet, and put them on the outside. 

Sweep clean under beds, and remove all 
articles that can be moved, so as to sweep be- 
hind them. Wash the bowl and pitcher and 
tumbler on the wash stand every day. Once 
a week, scald all the vessels used in a chamber. 
Dust the doors, ledges, window sashes, and 
every article of furniture. 

Never allow yourself to look in boxes or 
drawers, as it is a temptation to honesty, be- 
sides, being contrary to the wish of employers. 
Never allow yourself to take the most trifling 
article that belongs to another. Nothing is 
more important to a domestic than a character 



'!ttfe 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 227 

for honesty, and nothing grows so fast as habits 
of dishonesty. If you will steal needles, thread, 
pins, cord, or tapes, you will soon take more 
valuable things. And it is not the value o 
the thing taken which makes it an act of theft. 
Stealing is " taking or using any thing that 
belongs to another, ivithoiit evidence that the 
owner is willingJ^ And no matter how small 
the thing is, it is theft, as much as if it were 
greater. And it is not the harm done to another 
that is most to be feared, it is the injury done 
to yourself in forming a habit of dishonesty, 
and thus searing your conscience, and ruining 
your character. Always remember that you 
are committing a sin, when you are handling 
or using any thing that belongs to another, if 
you would be unwilling to have the owner 
suddenly appear and see you doing it. 



228 LETTERS TO PERSONS 



LETTER XYIIL 

The Way to be Happy. 
My Friends': 

Before concluding this little book, I will 
attempt to make one thing plain to you, which 
often puzzles many minds. From the pulpit, 
and in many other ways, you are often urged 
to become religious. And this duty is spoken 
of in a great variety of ways, so that there is 
a perplexity and difficulty in knowing exactly 
what it is that you are urged to do. You are 
sometimes urged " to become religious," to " be- 
come pious," to "become Christians ;" at other 
times you are told, that you must " repent ;" 
that you must " be converted ;" must " sub- 
mit to God ;" must be " born again j" must 
have " a new heart ;" must " believe in the Lord 
Jesus Christ ;" must have " faith in Christ." I 
have no doubt but that you sometimes feel, that 
you do not exactly understand what you are 
required to do, and that if any one would ex- 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 229 

plain the matter so that you knew exactly what 
to do, you should be willing to do it. Now 
this is what I am going to attempt, and I think 
I can make it clear by a simple illustration. 

Suppose a long and lingering sickness 
should suddenly appear in the place where you 
live, and the nurses and physicians could find 
no cure for it. At length a man appears who 
claims, that all who will come to him and obey 
his prescriptions, will be cured. Some say they 
believe in him, and some say they do not. — 
Some say they have faith in him, and some say 
they have not. Some come to him and get 
his directions, and obey them exactly ', some do 
not even ask his advice; others ask for it, and 
"when it is written out, lay it up in a drawer 
and never use it. Now, in this case, who are 
the persons who really believe in him, and real- 
ly have faith in him ? Surely it is not those 
who say they believe in him, it is only those who 
go to him, take his advice, and to the best of 
their understanding, obey it. 

Now, suppose all who really obeyed his ad- 
vice were healed, and then others who had ne- 
glected and despised him, should come to them, 

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230 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

and ask what they should do, to be cured of 
that sickness. A variety of answers woiild be 
given. It would be said, you must " turn and 
repent" of your past neglect — you must " sub- 
mit" to this physician — you must " believe" in 
this physician — you must " have faith" in this 
physician. 

All these directions mean the same thing, 
that is, you must come to the physician for his 
directions, and then you must obey them. Mere- 
ly believing that his prescriptions are good, or 
going to get them, without obeying them, is 
" faith without works, which is dead, being 
alone." 

Now this illustrates exactly the state of 
things in this world. God has created us to he 
happy, and this is the great aim of all his deal- 
ings with us. But the only way for us to be 
happy is, to form that holy, benevolent, self- 
denying character which Christ came to ex- 
hibit on earth. Such a character as this, none 
of us have, when we are born. On the contra- 
ry, we all form habits of living merely to seek 
our own selfish enjoyments. Young children 
find it hard to practise any self-denial, even for 



EN(^AGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 231 

their own good, and we all find it hard to 
practise self-denial for the good of others. And 
yet, submission of the will to God, and self-deni- 
al in securing our own good, and in doing good 
to others, are habits that are indispensable to 
our present and eternal happiness. 

Now, Jesus Christ came into the world to 
save it from that long, lingering disease, which 
will certainly end in eternal death, if not reme- 
died before we leave this world. And he 
comes to creatures, who have long been living 
in entire neglect of his advice and requirements, 
and in his holy w^ord, he teaches them how to 
be healed. 

You now can understand that all the direc- 
tions given, mean one and the same thing. We 
become Christians when we submit to Christ 
as our Lord, and set out to obey his commands. 
And the terms "to become pious" and ''to 
become religious," mean the same thing. We 
" repent" when we are sorry for past neglect, 
and show that we are sorry by our future obe- 
dience. To be " converted" means to be 
" turned about," and this is done when we 
cease to neglect the directions of Christ and 



232 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

begin to obey tbem. To be " born again" 
means, to come into a new state of being, and 
this is true of us, when we cease to live for our- 
selves and begin to live for Christ. We " sub- 
mit to God" when we take Jesus Christ as our 
Lord and Master, and submit our will in all 
things to his. When w^e are much engaged in 
any thing, we say we " give our ivhole heart to 
it," and when we cease to give the feelings of 
our hearts to our own pleasures, and become most 
interested in pleasing Christ, then we have "a 
new heart," that is, our chief interest is entirely 
changed. We were most interested in pleasing 
ourselves, but now we are most interested in 
doino; the will of Christ. So we " believe in 
Christ," and " have faith" in him, when we not 
only seek to know his will, but earnestly en- 
deavor to do it. 

So you perceive, my friends, there is no real 
confusion or difficulty in this matter. You can 
all of you begin, this very day, to be the follow- 
ers of Jesus Christ, and thus to walk in that 
path, which secures true peace in this life, and 
eternal happiness beyond the grave. I hope, 
therefore, if you have not done it before, that 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 233 

you will, this very day, take the Bible, which 
contains the directions of Christ, and go to your 
room and resolve to begin immediately to serve 
Christ, and pray to him to help you to perse- 
vere. And then every day, go alone and read 
in this hlessed book, and pray for help in trying 
to conform all your conduct to it. This is the 
way to begin to be a Christian, and keeping 
on thus, and improving every day more and 
more, is the way " to grow in grace." 

But you will ask, perhaps, Can I convert 
myself? Is it not the Holy Spirit that chan- 
ges the heart l To this I reply : No, you can- 
not convert yourselves, and it is the Spirit of 
God that changes the heart. All your deter- 
minations, and good resolutions, and continued 
efforts would be of no avail, without the help of 
God's Spirit. But you have got one part to do, 
and the Bible teaches us thus, on this point : 
" Work out your own salvation with fear and 
trembling, for it is God that worketh in you to 
will and to do, of his own good pleasure." 

This then is our great encouragement to 
begin to do our part, and to keep on in our ef- 
forts to obey Christ. We are not left to our 



234 LETTERS TO PERSONS 

own unaided efforts. — While we are working 
out our own salvation, God is working in us "to 
will and to do," and this is our grand hope for 
success in our efforts. But perhaps you will 
think, that you must wait till you feel some 
great distress of mind, and have convictions of 
sin, and such other feelings as you do not find 
in your own mind. But, my friends, there is 
no need of waiting for any thing. Many per- 
sons begin to be Christians, without any such 
previous anxiety and distress. Begin, then, this 
very day to serve Christ by " denying all un- 
godliness." If you are inclined to be careless, 
or to be fretful, or to be indolent, or to be 
heedless and forgetful, these are the points 
where you are to begin to *' take up your cross" 
and follow after Christ. It costs us a good 
deal of self-denial, when we have careless ha- 
bits, to cure them, or when we are irritable and 
fretful, to become meek and patient, or when 
we are indolent, to become industrious, or 
when we are negligent and forgetful, to become 
thoughtful and attentive. And it is in all such 
matters that Jesus Christ prescribes to us, " Deny 



ENGAGED IN DOMESTIC SERVICE. 235 

thyself daily, and take up thy cross and follow 
me." 

And we are very apt to undervalue our op- 
portunities of doing good to others, and to for- 
get that we can imitate Christ by " going 
about doing good.'' The domestic who sets a 
good example to young children, and by words 
and acts helps to form their character aright, or 
who by her labours in the kitchen is contribu- 
ting to the daily comfort of a household, and aid- 
ing the wife and mother to make a happy home 
to her husband, and to train up her children 
aright, she surely has a right to feel that she 
can imitate Christ by " going about doing good." 

Let us then, my friends, set about the duties 
of the lot our Saviour has appointed us, daily 
" looking unto him" as our pattern, our guide, 
and our Lord; daily praying to him for his 
help and protection, and then when he, who is 
Master of all the families of earth, shall appear, 
each of us shall hear his voice saying, " Well 
done, good and faithful servant, enter thou into 
the joy of thy Lord." 



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i miL 



